All 13 entries tagged Football

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December 12, 2006

SeppWatch 2

Writing about web page

Ok, perhaps the title of this entry is a little misleading as the guilty party isn’t HRH, God Almighty Sepp Blatter, but our very own Fun Sports Minister, Richard Caborn MP.

So Dickie C1 thinks that “social drugs” aren’t bad, mmmkay. That “social drugs” aren’t taken for “performance enhancement” and don’t do “harm to the athlete and harm to the sport.” Really? Is that what you think, Dickie C? Really?

Lets look at just one recent case, also making headlines:

Wendell Sailor (Australian Rugby Union/League star): Took cocaine recreationally, admitting that he “fell to the off-field temptation of a so-called ‘party drug’.” OK, so Wendell isn’t the first person to admit taking cocaine, but it is still a stimulant, causes acute and chronic health problems and the use by high profile sports stars and other celebrities promotes its’ use as acceptable to fans.
Sailor played in 5 of the Australian Rugby Union team’s 7 games in the RWC2003, and scored 13 tries in 37 tests as winger. In 2000 he was Player of the Tournament and top try scorer as Australia won the Rugby League World Cup. In no uncertain terms he was (and still is) a great player and an inspiration to many fans and players, but this is the problem. If you turn around and give him a telling-off then what sort of message does that send out. That drugs are bad, mmmkay, but some drugs are more badder than others? Salbutamol (aka Ventolin) is badder than cocaine, or ecstasy, as it has more of a performance enhancing effect?
Dickie C’s Score – 3/3

The message is pretty simple, and WADA are were on the right track with their hard-line: drugs are bad mmmkay.

And therein comes the next problem. Dickie P is a good guy. He’s a hardliner, and thats what WADA and all the international governing bodies need. If you cheat, you will be banned. And it’s not like the rules are there for shits and giggles. Drugs do all sorts of nasty things to your body. That’s why they are illegal. Anabolic steroids do lots of things from shrinking your nuts to giving you boobs if you are a man and from disrupting periods to giving you a beard if you are a woman – dangerous or not, that’s hardly something I’d sign up to. Recent research suggests ecstasy causes brain damage after just a few pills. So why are WADA considering relaxing the rules? It makes no sense to me – as soon as you start making exceptions, people will start using that to bend the rules. Cocaine use as a performance enhancing stimulant will probably increase, as you’ll just get a slap on the wrist from your NGB and a £770 fine from the cops.

Richard Caborn MP, with all due respect2, you are wrong

1 I’m refering to him as Dickie C to disambiguate him from Dick Pound (head of WADA), he of silly name.
2 Does anybody else find the modern usage of this phrase inappropriate as it implies respect for the position, but a complete lack of respect for the person in that position?

November 27, 2006

SeppWatch 1

Writing about web page

In the first installment of SeppWatch, Sepp paves the way for:
a) Drafting
b) Play-offs

Stayed tuned for more senility from the man with the Big Ideas

May 31, 2006

KPMG Football Leagues Near Conclusion

Well we are nearly there. After nearly 300 hours of football, several hundred emails, the odd phone call, the Semi Finalists of the Cup and Plate competitions and the Finalists of the Shield are known.

I haven't really blogged on this before, but thought I'd post the results to the Big Bad World. If you have chance go along and watch one or more of the games…

Teams were entered into the Cup (1st-4th), Shield (5th-8th) or Plate (9th-11/12th) depending on their final league positions, with 1st, 5th and 9th placed teams from each league and the 2nd, 6th and 10th placed teams with the best records given First Round byes

Final KPMG League Tables

* 2nd/6th/10th placed team with best record – given First Round bye.

** Withdrew from competition.

*** Given place in Cup competition due to withdrawal of UWCC.


First Round
The Lakers 5-0 WBSS
Inter Yamam 0-10 Statix
Westside 7-0 Friis and Friends
`The Savage Beasts 1-1 Brian Little Revival XI (1–1 AET – Brian Little Revival XI wint 5–4 on pens)

Quarter Finals
The Walkovers 6-1 The Lakers
Inter 3-0 Statix
Intake Juniors FC 0-0 Westside (0–0 AET – Intake Juniors FC win 5–4 on pens)
NFC 3-3 Brian Little Revival XI (3–3 AET – NFC win 5–4 on pens)

Semi Finals
The Walkovers v Inter – Sunday Week 7, 1pm
Intake Juniors FC v NFC – Sunday Week 7, 3pm

The Walkovers or Inter v Intake Juniors FC or NFC – Saturday/Sunday Week 8 or Saturday Week 9


First Round
Foot-longs 3-0 Hand Job: The Second Coming
`Obi-Wan Kenobi Nil 5-2 WCUFC
Akabusi FC 4-1 Warwick Gophers

Quarter Finals
The Lakers 2 2-2 Foot-longs (2–3 AET)
Medics 6-2 Obi-Wan Kenobi Nil
`Warwick Law Society FC 0-1 Akabusi FC
`Loxley White Knights 0-1 The Hurricanes

Semi Finals
Foot-longs 1-2 Medics
Akabusi FC 2-3 The Hurricanes

Medics v The Hurricanes – Sunday Week 8, 1pm


First Round
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos 3-2 Avengers FC

Quarter Finals
Ocean's Eleven 3-5 Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos
`Warwick Chinese v Bend It Like Bellion (Bellion walkover)
English Department FC 5-1 Hellenic
Pirates Of Cyprus 3-5 Team Jack Martin

Semi Finals
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos v Bend It Like Bellion – Saturday Week 7, 1pm
English Department FC v Team Jack Martin – Saturday Week 7, 3pm

Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos or Bend It Like Bellion v English Department FC or Team Jack Martin – Saturday/Sunday Week 8 or Saturday Week 9

March 31, 2006

Separated at birth

Syndrome, (aka Incrediboy) of The Incredibles fame.

Simon Jordan , Crystal Palace Chairman
Simon Jordan

March 06, 2006

John Barnes ate my hamster

OK, John Barnes didn't eat my hamster (and if he or his lawyers are reading this, please disregard). I made that part up. John Barnes has never even met my hamster, even if I did actually ever own one. In fact when I saw him in Chinatown on Friday night he didn't eat anything as he couldn't get a table in the restaurant that Anne and I were in, and couldn't be arsed to wait around, so pootled find another restaurant. This is not before Anne had piped up with "Oh my God, isn't that Jeremy Guscott?"

Anne is clearly crap at celebrity spotting, having spotted "that old comedy guy. He does shows like QI and stuff." This I think must have been Arthur Smith, based on a fairly sketchy description and some fairly outrageous guessing.

And while I'm on the subject, she still doesn't know who Chuck Norris is. Honestly.

February 17, 2006

Romania Qualify For Warwick World Cup

Writing about an entry you don't have permission to view

A 4-0 drubbing walkover against Sri Lanka secured qualification for Romania and the winners of the Poland-Colombia match in Group I of the Warwick World Cup. Romania secured 7 points from a possible 9 and are guaranteed qualification for next term's Warwick World Cup proper. Romania can finish top of the group if Poland fail to beat Colombia by two goals (or by 1 goal if they score more than 2).

A big thanks to Shaz Saleem and Chris McKeown for doing a great job of organising the qualifiers.

Watch out for dyed blonde hair if we make the knockouts next term!!!

February 14, 2006

Romania win opening game

Follow-up to Steau ButylEster players called up to Romania team from No I said DublIN marathon

Romania notched up a solid 2–1 victory in their opening Group I game against an individually skillful Colmbian team. Columbia had called up many of their Europe based players and Romania were without defence/midifeld/attack dynamo/enforcer Espen Tangen, who was jetlagged after a mamouth 2hr flight.

Coles, Macreath, Day and Edgeworth started outfield, with Gott in goal and Haggart and Bailey on the bench. Colombia started brightly but solid work at the back and midifield saw the organised Romanians keep them at bay; Colmbia restricted to two shots from distance in the first half. The half ended with Bailey prostrate on the floor having put his life, and manhood, on the line for the team.

The second half saw both teams start brightly, but eventually Coles was able to capitalise on a loose pass by the Colombian keeper and slotted home first time with his left into the empty net. Romania looked solid to hold on for the victory, with one outstanding save from Gott, before naive defending by Bailey let the Colombians back into the game. With time ticking down a fast break by Coles and Edgeworth split the Colombian defence with Edgeworth cooly slotting past the helpless 'keeper. Romania looked comofrtable after that and were denied a third as the final whistle blew with Macreath bearing down on goal.


  • Andy "Iron Stomch" Gott (gk)
  • Devan "Glass Balls" Bailey
  • Dave "Glass Toe" Haggart
  • Stuart "Nose Tackle" Coles
  • Ben "No Tackles" Macreath
  • Tom "Der Hammer" Day
  • Jon "Die Rake" Edgeworth

Goal scorers:

  • Coles (1)
  • Edgeworth (1)

Man(hood) Of The Match:
Devan's balls

February 13, 2006

Bailey added to Romania squad

Follow-up to Steau ButylEster players called up to Romania team from No I said DublIN marathon

Breaking news:

Devan Bailey from S.H.A.F.T. has been drafted into the Romanian national team for the Warwick World Cup for fear that the majority of the rest of the squad are too fat and old to cut it against the Colombians.

February 10, 2006

Steau ButylEster players called up to Romania team

Writing about an entry you don't have permission to view

Several 'Ester players have been called up to the Romanian national team for the Warwick World Cup Qualifiers which start next week. Romania are in a tough qualifying Group I with Colombia (11am Tues), Poland (12:30pm Thurs) and Sri Lanka (10am Fri).

The preliminary squad is as follows:

  • Coles (Steau ButylEster)
  • Day (Steau ButylEster)
  • Haggart (Steau ButylEster)
  • Tangen (Steau ButylEster, on long-term loan from UIT)
  • Edgeworth (Chi Sci II)
  • Gott (Steau ButylEster)

More players may be added upon request/by invitation.

The top two teams from each of the 14 groups will qualify, as will England as hosts and the three "best" third placed teams.

December 06, 2005

Are FIFA nuts???

Writing about web page

The BBC are reporting that players selected for their nation's World Cup squads won't be eligible to play for their clubs after May 15th – ruling them out of the Champions League Final. Are they nuts, or just incompetent?

[edit] It appears that they are merely nuts, and not, as I previously inferred, incompetent. They have made an exception for the Champions League Final, but are intent on screwing over any Football League clubs in the Play-Offs that have players at the World Cup.

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