All entries for February 2005

February 28, 2005

The happy house

February 27, 2005

Catch that Pigeon, Tinkerbell!

Today's update about the show is provided by Gavin:

Sadly, Dan's illness continues to trouble us all and as such he was unable to make it to the studio this afternoon to take his regular slot on the show. We toyed with the idea of getting him to phone in his contribution from home but decided that having a guest who was unable to speak might make for difficult radio.

As a result, its up to me to bring you this week's tracklist. We managed to highjack the 15 minutes before going on air, replacing the veritable Susan Stamp with a few of our own tunes. She didn't seem to mind.Thanks to everyone who listened, here's what you missed if you weren't by your wireless between 11.45 and 1:

David Bowie – Five years
British Sea Power – Apologies to Insect Life
Radio 4 – Transmission
Death From Above 1979 – Pull out

This was the neews…

The Walkmen – The Rat
LCD Soundsystem – Disco Infiltrator
Elbow – Switching off
Biffy Clyro – Some kind of Wizard
Rilo Keley – Love and war (11/11/46)
Crash test dummies – mmm mmm mmm
KT Tunstall – Suddenly I see
PJ Harvey – C'mon Billy
Perfect circle – Orestes
Sonic Youth – Drunken Butterfly
REM – At my most beautiful
The Thrills – One Horse Town

And that was just about it. Apologies for any emails that weren't read out, the system was playing up again, but it should all be sorted for next week.

Proven to aid revision/essay writing in 9 out of 10 cases Tinkerbell and the Pigeon on RaW 87.7FM, every sunday at 12.00.

Television: A review

Being at home, and unable to move very much, has left me in the soft embrace of television. Much has changed since last I visited it shores for a prolonged period.

I thought I'd give you a brief run through of the pleasures I enjoyed:

12.35 - Friends

This show just never dies does it. Channel Four's scheduling methodolgy seems to be, when ever this a gap insert Friends. This particular episode wasn't that hateful as it was really old before everyone knew how great they all were, and everything got so slick and in-jokey and phenomenon-like. It was just a fairly good show and the cast members looked a lot more attractive than they do nowadays.

1.05 Fool Around ... with the Cheeky Girls

Bearing with it the terrifying prospect of being a format show that may return on a regular basis with different 'with the…' celebrities, this show took the horror prize for the day. Everyone in it was loathsome and exploited. For some pathetic amount of money, the male halves of three couples and one single man were competing with each other to persuade the cheeky girls that they were single. All the while the girlfriends were watching in. The results were suitably stupid. The girlfriends threatened to split up when they saw their boyfriends… flirting with the cheeky girls? Sorry ladies, but what exactly did you think the game was going to involve when its a game about flirting. Then for extra hilarity one guy was so persuasive that one of the cheeky girls actually fell in love with him and actually began weeping when she found out he already had a girlfriend. Hello cheekys this was the point of the game! So in the end all the losers looked miffed and pissed off because they just ruined their relationships by flirting with two of the most bizarre women in pop music for nothing. Then we have the crying cheeky girls and finally the winner who made them cry and just proved to his, less than happy looking girlfriend, that he is able to lie believeably about loving someone right to their face. LCD arse bollocks.

2.10ish - (Half of) Alexander the Great - FILM

One of those big old classical epics they were always churning out featuring huge crowds of extras rushing about stabbing each other and as little as possible in the way of story. Lots of bronzed chests and manly fighting. Didn't really convey the story of Alexander in an at all memorable way, the acting was universally shite and nothing about it engaged me. Even the stabbings were U rated.

3.25 - Stagecoach - FILM

Now we're talking some proper entertainment. Its a very old film from the era of classic westerns and as such takes a time to get going and includes a few elements that now look a bit cliche, but are actually probably just copied by later films and originated here. There are several interesting characters all trapped together on the same stagecoach headed into what seems to be indian infested countryside. The tension is slowly built with regular stops by the coach and confict between the characters while the indians are kept mysteriously in the background. Very watchable. I reccomend it heartily and the stagecoach fight scene should be studied and copied/updated more regularly into modern action cinema.

4.55 - What the papers say

In which I learnt that what they said this week wasn't very interesting.

5.05 - Regional and National News

Bomb somewhere. Pope possibly moving his hand. Dog saves mobile from watery death.

5.35 - New You've Been Framed!

Somehow Harry Hill, who I once hailed as a comedy genius, has let himself slip futher and futher everytime I see him. When I heard his voiceover on this show I realised he may have found the bottom. I'm sure this show used to have a kind of audience and presenter led feel at one stage but the mysterious Harry never appears on screen. The clips are as crap as ever they were, with a baby screwing up its face greeted with gales of undeserved canned laughter. The only saving grace is that Mr. Hills comments were actually occasionally amusing and he is far less offensive than any of the previous presenters. Total Arse.

6.00 - Morgan & Platell

I think I actually fell asleep for a while here or went off to beat my head against a wall because I only caught the end of this show. Two more unendearing pundits it would be hard to find than the loathsome Piers Morgan and the hideous Amanda Platell. Their questioning of Robin Cook a potentially very interesting guest if interviewed correctly was boring and tabloid. The whole show seemed stupid, glitzy and ultimately flatulent.

6.30 - TV break

I decided to take a break from watching tv to check email and the blogs but I was back in time for…

7.00 - The New 10 Commandments

Never have I seen a shitty idea stretched so desperately over two hours.
Amazingly enough when people vote in a list of new commandments they are crappy and stupid. There was duplication of function with both 'protect your children' and 'protect your family' and all kinds of other stupid ideas, and geez they stretched it out. We had to endure a stripper going into a hairdressers to prove the point that people say 'oh my god' as if noone in the world had noticed. and other such time filling features. We got to hear about all of the original commandments, all of the original commandments that got completely rejected and all of the new commandments that nearly made it (top twenty). For each one we had an interview and a small film and some fancy graphics, then maybe some more studio time and a bit of 'hillarious japery'. Scotland seemed to have voted the most for every single one of the commandments which seemed to me a bit improbable, I got bored before the end and cut off my own foot.

9.00 - Spy Game - FILM

This is a film I once watched almost to the very end in a cinema in Newcastle before I had to leave in the last 15 minutes and never finding out how it ended until tonight. I found it to be pretty good both times through. Though after waiting this long for the ending it was fairly unsatisfactory, and compared to the pace of some spy thrillers these days it just wasn't quick or twisty enough.

At this point I fell asleep. Thank you television.

February 26, 2005

Homeward bound

Should be off home in a few hours to see if the recovery process happens any faster there. Blogging will continue to be rubbish for the duraton of the ill.

Dan's exercise in narcissism apologises for any inconvenience caused.

February 25, 2005

Diagnosis GBH

Was able (with lovely assistants) to get over to the health centre today and get my piss poor health condition looked into. Apparently I have something called 'Acute Pharengitiis' a lively little bugger for which I was prescribed some anti-biotics which will hopefully slowly tame the frenzied bodily attacks I'm currently enduring from it.

The only other thing I gleaned was the healing power of ice lollies, as soon as I can get my hands on some tasty orange juice ice lumps on sticks I will be in a kind of sick persons heaven.

Think its probably time to sleep now.

February 24, 2005

urgh, cough, blargh – delerium sets in

As the illness continues unabated for another day I find myself going completely mad.

I now believe something about a tv show but I've forgetten what, day and night are beginning to lose all meaning, and I can barely stand and certainly can't talk.

As final proof of my insanity I still dragged myself over to this computer thing to blog.

Please forgive me dark gods of illness, I shall keep up the carrot slaughtering in future I promise. :(

February 23, 2005

The fez challenge!

Writing about web page

I was challenged to prove how great I look in a fez.. well here's all the evidence you need:



Where are you all going?

Get well quick tips

As I've been laid up here in bed (thanks demons of illness, you really know how to pick the best time for me to get ill) I set my mind to thinking of some awesome ways to cure myself and others similarly afflicted:

  • Brain transplant – If the body breaks, its time for a new one.
  • Flux capacitor – Just send the offending body part back to the future.
  • Home-made surgery – That bread knife has just been waiting to fulfill its true purpose.
  • Drink acid – You'll soon forget all about that nasty cold.
  • Obtain super powers – Particularly that mutant healing factor or…
  • Vampirisim – Join the ranks of the living dead.
  • Digitize yourself – Norton Anti-virus will take care of the rest.
  • Cyborgirize your ass – nanobots, nanobots, nanobots.
  • Learn from Nietzsche – He was ill his entire life and still kicked ass.
  • Flambe – The cleansing power of fire is well documented.
  • Eye of Toad – Witchcraft should not be sneered at.
  • Scrubs – Far better than a real hospital; check me in at the Sacred Heart.
  • Fight fire with fire – Contract a worse virus to beat up the original illness for you.
  • Get drunk – Until you can no longer feel your limbs.
  • Gamma radiation – Why the hell not.

What are your healing tips?

February 22, 2005

An old poem

Screw it. This isn't a good poem or a funny poem but I thought I'd share it with you anyway because otherwise its just going to get forgotten on my hard drive and I need to remember.

I wrote this earlier in the year when I was in a low mood:

Friendly fire

Concealed among letters,
I fake confidence.
The youth I waste,
Could be better spent.

Close to the rim,
I justify myself.
Stronger affirmations,
Lead to no actions.

Im not happy,
Until I push myself.
Always push too far,
Never reach the start.

Why its awesome to be man like

Writing about an entry you don't have permission to view

Here is a list of man great things:

  • Men are less flammable than women.

  • Men can watch action films all day and not get bored.

  • Men are funnier. Just look at them.

  • Arnie.

  • Men look better in suits.

  • Men can always escape into darts.

  • Barbershop quartets.

  • Man is a better word than woman.

  • Men are equipped with spy drones.

  • Men can commit crimes against fashion three times better than women.

  • Male voice choirs.

  • Samuarais.

  • Hitler is a man.

  • Jesus was a man.

  • I'm a man.

February 2005

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