All entries for January 2005

January 31, 2005

Campaign Diary: Caught by the fuzz

Did a nice mix of campaigning today. Was nearly shot by police.


January 30, 2005

Campaign Diary: Sunday

I braved the landscaped wilderness that is Lakeside residences today, thanks to some kindly/unwitting people I was able to gain access to this magical and mysterious place. I met some wonderful and interesting people, some of whom already knew me, some who wanted to test my dancing skills and many, many people still not dressed.

People of Warwick University! I salute you for being pyjama'd up at 3pm. You are all very much awesome.

Tonight I kicked back with some light Singstar and prepared myself mentally for the campaigning ahead. I also wrote another poem, but I won't make you suffer that mental anguish again.

January 29, 2005

Campaign Diary: Tales from the ground floor

After the madness of postering yesterday (pushing in hundreds of pins has never been so much fun!), today it was time to hit the campaign trail proper with some proper door to door campaigning. Today I managed to get around all the Whitefields flats that had people in and I did most of 'new' Rootes. I think mostly the campaigning went well, I apologise to the one guy who's room I accidently entered in error; no offence was meant! Everyone else seemed fairly pleased/scared to see me. I sensed that very soon people's interest in elections will fade as they are bombarded by the infinite number of candidates that seem to be running this year. I just hope that people don't get so turned off that they don't vote at all.

After all that I was quite tired and went home to regather my energies for the next day of fun and frolics.

I thought I'd show you some highlights of the campaign so far in pictures (taken by my able assistant Gav). First up the proof that I have the skills to sort wobbly tables:

Of course if you vote me in as your president the fixes will be more permanent :)

Next we have evidence of the most mighty postering so far:

And looking a bit closer we can see…


January 28, 2005

Campaign Diary: Day 8 ?

Online Manifestos

Pretty much all of the candidates manifestos are online now, so you can browse through them all and make an informed choice when it comes to be time to vote (from next wednesday). There are some excellent ideas out there and even if you don't care who wins its worth having a read of them to see the kind of things students like yourselves think could be improved about the union.

As to myself, campaigning officially starts today and I've heard that a few candidates were up bright and early doing some preliminary lecture tours. I'm personally saving my lecture tours for next week closer to the time in question, but I have been preparing printed publicity for the 5pm end of the publicty embargo when candidates are let loose to put up posters across campus. Though of course the university does not strictly approve of us postering everywhere.

Was up into the small hours last night trying to construct some convincing flyers and working on tweaking the manifesto. Lots of caffine will be needed this week I think.

Stay awesome everyone.

January 27, 2005

Cough up you gits

A good friend of mine has decided to try and help some suffering people somewhere, I think, or bad things happened somewhere? Monks are involved somehow… I wonder if there is pirates… Mmm robot pirates.

Anyway, its all explained on the website here and I think you should all go and show your support for her or I'll look at you funny.

Its for a wonderfully good cause so if you've got some money you were only going to waste on a big roast dinner for yourself, or some cheese on toast with barbeque sauce, or delicious chips and tasty, tasty chocolate. Then don't; because Sarah won't be eating any of that stuff for a whole day and you should send her your money in awe at such amazing fasting prowess.

And when you've done that you can go back to thinking about voting awesome.

January 26, 2005

Too early to look at houses

It turns out that in the real world of housing you don't have to decide where you are going to live, 6 months in advance.

Who knew?

January 25, 2005

Why you should vote for me.

Right now, I survey the opposition and I see they have all have their area of relevent experience, politics, debating, union commitees and such like. As I put myself into the shoes of the average voter, I can see them glancing through my short write up in the Boar and thinking "Where's this guys experience? I'm not trusting my union to him."

I hope you'll let me encourage you to reconsider.

What this union needs is not another pair of safe hands, another political regular. How are we going to improve things and make life exciting if we don't embrace chance?

I am that chance.

I represent the lost, I represent fresh thinking and new ideas, I represent everyone who feels they could never stand for Union President because they wouldn't win. Voting awesome is not about voting for a slogan or a haircut; its an attitude. You always have a chance to change your life in an instant, no matter where you start from. If you want a president who believes that you can all be awesome, who will take risks and listen to all of your ideas; then vote for me.

I love the Union and will fight my hardest to improve it and the experience of it for each and everyone one of its members. By working together we are stronger, and thus logically more awesome.

(Vote for me).

January 24, 2005

Campaign Diary: Day 4 or 5

The process to become union president runs something like this:

  • Fill in a form online, gathering the library card numbers of two folk who are willing to propose and then second your nomination.

  • Print out said form, track down the people who's libary card numbers you obtained not realising that they'd have to sign the form in person.

  • Extend your overdraft that little bit more by getting out the cash for the nomination deposit.

  • Return signed form, cash and a winning smile to the nice people in the elections office and recieve a pile of paper in return.

  • Note that amidst paper is instruction to return printed manifestos to the elections office in about three days time.

  • Get drunk, don't sleep very much.

  • Get drunk again, sleep hardly at all.

  • Write the manifesto the night before desperately trying to remember all those great policy ideas that were filling your head three days ago.

  • Hand in manifesto, bleary eyed and slightly smelly (thats me, not the manifesto).

  • Remember all the great ideas.

Sometimes being awesome can harm your electoral chances. Thankfully I still have another week to sort out the online manifesto and the fine details of the campaign, so plenty of time then… Another drink? Oh go on then, it is monday night.

Plenty of time.

January 23, 2005

Dan's guide to drunken friends

Hello! Here's a nice picture of a laod of people that are Dan's friends. There are no pictures though, whihc is a problem.

Mat is here! He has drunk many vodkas bacardis and whiskies. I did his mum…

Nick F is here! He's drunk lots of everything and wouldn'y sing, but he's still awesome.

We had good conversations.

Give him the stick!
Don't give him tehs tick!

Ge6t in the fridge!

Don;'t blog on Dan


January 22, 2005

Dan's Guide to Gravel

Last night, as I relaxed in my red, silken pyjamas, a thought caught hold of me. Could it be, that out there, there are a few unlucky souls who do not know the wonderful delights of gravel ? As I tried to get to sleep, not even the lure of the seven seas could shake the thought from my mind. I could not rest until the world is made aware of the true magnificence that lies in one of mankinds most sublime creations.


This guide is my gift to you, may you learn it by heart and recite it at bedtime.

Dan's Guide to Gravel

The first thing that any awesome person should do upon waking up is check their doormat for the comforting presence of the weekly gravel lovers bible:

While this guide will serve as a solid grounding in the field of gravel, its impossible to walk the true path of gravel without a lifetime subscription to this excellent magazine.

Some basic gravel facts:

  • Gravel adds an interesting texture to any sandwich.

  • The more gravel there is in the world, the less large rocks there will be. This saves lives.

  • Gravel saves time and money in the long run. When used in place of sand. On a beach.

  • Gravel can be mounded up into primative mountains. These can then be used in place of real mountains, if the real mountains need a rest.

  • X/t * Fg(n) || !fun == Gravel.

  • Gravel consists of: 95% stones, 3% sand and dust, 1% glass and 1% dog.

The phropecy of gravel

An extract from the dark book of Nostrodanmus.

"... then ye shalt descend from the beyond the beneath under the last mystery of great depth. There ye shalt renounce all the old ties and embrace a new world order of gravel. And the gravel shalt be strong within thee and thou shalt lead the people through the rivers of gravel alternatives and pretenders; to the promised land. There you wilt find the promised gravel drive upon which to park your BMW. And lo, one gravel will rule them all…"

Why gravel will change your life!

  • 50% extra free! Buy today! NOW! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU LAZY SLOB. GET OUT OF YOUR CHAIR!!! BUY!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!!!!!!!

  • Buy today, pay next year! UNBEATABLE OFFERS!


  • Two sacks of Creek Rock for the price of one! I've got mine. Have you?

  • If you're thinking gravel then you're thinking "Bob's Gravel Warehouse". The No 1. stop for gravel and gravel derivatives. Like smaller bits of gravel, or refreshing ground gravel juice!


Today's entry was kindly sponsored by "Bob's Gravel Warehouse".

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