Stab it with your steely knife
I just tried to play football. It turns out I'm incredibly unfit when it comes to any kind of vigorous physical exercise. I'm going to blame this entirely on a university education which has driven me to the dark side of late nights, alcohol and daytime television.
Its been an interesting week in which I've laughed, cried and lived more than I have in a long time. I hope that in time the people I've hurt can forgive me, and we can go on into the mysteries of the future as star friends. I've learned that I'm not perfect – not even close, despite what my socks might say, and that I can't always avoid hurting people. I can just try and screw up and try again until I get it right.
I'm going to just say thank you to all my friends old and new, even if you're mad at me right now. You've all enriched my life and I don't want to lose you over any of this, we'll get drunk together again soon and our strength will see us through.