November 30, 2004

Meeting people from the internet

Writing about web page http://www.ukchatterbox.co.uk/article/18

I seem to have developed a tendancy to meet up, recieve phone calls from and generally socialise in a non virtual way with people who I have first got to know via the internet. With Warwick Blogs I have noticed this trend in my life accelerating rapidly until I am now meeting previously virtual people on an almost weekly basis. It would be very unfair if I kept all this wealth of experience to myself and I have thus decided to provide you with a handy guide on how to meet 'real' people:

Dan's Guide to Blogger/real life crossovers

Meeting people from the internet is likely to be a scary and frightening experience for everyone concerned; whatever you do, avoid turning up naked. Save this for later. Safety is another important concern, wear protective clothing at all times and follow these simple tips:

1) Always arrange to meet up in a private place. If they offer to meet you at their place, go along. Bring a pillow. The main advantage of this is that noone will be able to see or hear you; potentially saving you hours of embarrasment when you "accidently" reveal your love of tweed.

2) Never tell anyone where you are going, who you are meeting or when you expect to be back. Not even your partner. This means noone will know where you are. This is what you want, meeting people from the internet is still considered one step above glue sniffing. Also never take a mobile phone with you, you don't want to have to lie to your friends if they ring up asking where you are and noone likes a flash git with a fancy "mobile" "phone".

3) Go alone. If your friends realise what you are up to they may decide to eat all the food in your fridge, especially the yougurts.

4) If at any time you feel uneasy with the other person, then try having another drink. Everyone improves with alcohol. Even Sam.

6) Be sensible! Don't meet in a bar; and fail to get totally pissed. You don't want your new internet friends thinking you are a total loser. Its best to just act on instinct, do what you feel rather than thinking things through too much. This only leads to confusion.

7) Don't hesitate or be cautious! If they other person can sense your fear they may hate you forever after all what are you implying?

8) It's very important to lie. On no account should anyone from the internet uncover your true nature, if they do they will most likely hate you or otherwise why would you have resorted to the internet to meet people in the first place?

If you follow this easy advice I'm sure the warwick blog community will soon be a thriving market place for making friends.


- 10 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

[Skip to the latest comment]
  1. You lie, there are no real people!

    30 Nov 2004, 01:53

  2. Mathew Mannion

    You should write a book. How To Get Raped In 21 Days, perhaps?

    30 Nov 2004, 02:19

  3. I would never promote anything so heinous. I encourage safe mating practices.

    30 Nov 2004, 02:25

    • grin * ur so weird. i'm impressed.

    30 Nov 2004, 11:04

  4. Thanks! I think…

    30 Nov 2004, 13:38

  5. I think most people who would follow these particular rules may perhaps have some kind of death wish. Can't wait to try them out!!

    30 Nov 2004, 16:21

  6. I'm glad to hear they are proving helpful. I would like to hear your stories if you do successfully put these perfectly safe rules into practice.

    30 Nov 2004, 22:29

  7. Paul26Lpool

    welll….. tied it an met too many nutters,,,, im sticking to meeting in pubs/clubs while totally pissed!! at least theres no bullshit~!
    paul

    15 Dec 2004, 17:47

  8. That depends on how pissed you get.

    15 Dec 2004, 18:20

  9. Whatever

    I think what you are saying is that let's all Lie and fuck, it doesn''t matter if we click with the person or not. It doesn't matter if we are married or not. In this case, yes I do agree with you. Bottom line, we are here for the same reason, we are all horny people, some of us hide it well and some of us don't give a rat ass. I don't and to tell you the truth, if I was looking for cheating on my husband then I would follow every single step of your "guide" Not that I don't know it already but I would go through it again to make sure I don't forget any lol

    Yes, I am a female!

    04 Sep 2005, 05:04


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