February 10, 2005

Me and programming; we don't get on.

Today I have been questing with earnest to defeat the difficulties with my third year project, everytime I attempt to do something in computer science I always seem to run into the same basic problem.

I just can't program.

Its not through lack of trying, I have bought countless books in an attempt to understand the subject, sat though hundreds of lectures and got right stuck in there and attempted to learn by doing. Now, don't misunderstand me I can do the basics, logical jiggery pokery and the finer points of data types are all tackled masterfully by me. Yet the moment things get complicated and I see lines like:

WorldGraph.HandleLinkEnt ( iSrcNode, WorldGraph.m_pLinkPool[iLink].m_pLinkEnt, m_afCapability, CGraph::NODEGRAPH_DYNAMIC ) )

I cry inside. Its enough to make you lust after a 5,000 word essay. It really is.

On the plus side, I did get all the animation, skinning and modelling finished. Kevin the large mouthed spider beast from hell is now bounding his way about my Half-life levels with wild abandon.

In an entirely unrelated series of events I have begun compiling some depressing/anti-love/mournful country type of songs to create a nice alternative playlist for the 'Screw Love' party on monday. If anyone has any suggestions for tracks that really induce those feelings of pain and heartbreak then please feel free to leave a comment.

EDIT: MSN messenger address is dgl269@hotmail.com
FURTHER EDIT: E-mail is D.G.Lawrence@warwick.ac.uk


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  1. I can think of many that induce feelings of pain. Like just about anything by Steps, for instance.

    10 Feb 2005, 22:20

  2. Ok, I'm afraid I can't really think of one of those tracks…but can I suggest something totally different? :)

    New Slang – The Shins (appears in Garden State too)
    It's great.

    10 Feb 2005, 22:24

  3. Ive got one… ALONE by Heart

    10 Feb 2005, 22:41

  4. Love Hurts – Nazareth
    Fuck & Run – Liz Phair

    10 Feb 2005, 22:42

  5. I had something for the list but once again have completely forgotten it. Kevin looks very cute :D

    10 Feb 2005, 22:48

  6. No Anti-Valentine's party could be complete without at least one rendition of Radiohead's Creep.

    10 Feb 2005, 23:08

  7. Kevin is adorable.

    Love Burns - BRMC
    "Now she's gone/Love burns inside of me"
    The Cedar Room - Doves
    "And I tried to sleep alone/But I couldn't do it/You could be sitting next to me/And I wouldn't know it"
    Endlessly - Muse
    "Hoplessly/I'll love you endlessly… but the moment never came"
    Celebrity Sanctum - Dogs Die In Hot Cars
    "And I just want someone that will come home… and just one star jump out of magazines into my arms"
    Nobody Loved You - Manic Street Preachers
    Nuff said…

    My god I can be depressing when I want to.

    10 Feb 2005, 23:19

  8. I find "3 Libras" by Perfect Circle particularly depressing,

    hard not to feel just a little bit disappointed, and passed over...you don't see me.

    And Jeff Buckley, (I'm crap with the names, nut) the one with "Never knew you at all" in the lyrics.

    I'll compile you a few when I have more time…although I seem to be moving out of the self-pitying stage at the moment…which is good, right?!

    10 Feb 2005, 23:26

  9. Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen (its the best version, trust me)
    Honestly by Cary Brothers
    Anna Begins by Counting Crows
    She Says by Howie Day
    A Modern Way of Letting Go by Idlewild (for something more bouncy)
    Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World
    Winter by Joshua Radin
    I'm Not Afraid by Remy Zero
    Come Around by Rhett Miller
    Fine by Tammany Hall (see my blog for lyrics if you can be bothered)
    Best I Ever Had(Grey Sky Morning) by Vertical Horizon

    I do this quite a lot. Does it show? If you want some of those tracks and can't get hold of them, I may be able to lend a hand ;-)

    10 Feb 2005, 23:45

  10. Some cool suggestions.
    Most are beyond my limited abilities to get hold of but feel free to bring along CDs and such or other such things. Here is the current alpha playlist; I'm going for a whole range of genres as long as they are fairly depressing or anti-valentine:

    Aimee Mann – Save Me
    AL GREEN - Tired Of Being Alone
    Aqualung – Strange And Beautiful
    Ben E. King – Stand By Me
    Bob Marley – No Woman No Cry
    Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the Heart
    Carpenters – Goodbye To Love
    Coldplay – The Scientist
    Coldplay – Trouble
    Dido – All You Want
    Eagles – Hotel California
    Elliott Smith – Happiness
    Evanescence – Hello
    Evanescence – My Immortal
    Fine Young Cannibals – She Drives Me Crazy
    Foreigner – I Wanna Know What Love Is
    Futureheads – Hounds of Love
    Garbage – Stupid Girl
    Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive
    Goldfrapp – Strict Machine
    Semisonic – Time of Your Life
    James Taylor – You've Got A Friend
    Jewel – You Were Meant for Me
    John Waite – I Ain't Missing You
    Johnny Cash – One
    Jonny Cash – Hurt
    Lou Reed – Perfect Day
    Marvin Gaye – I Heard it Through The Grapevine
    Muse – Endlessly
    New Order – Blue Monday
    Ray Charles – I Put a Spell on You
    Nirvana – Heart Shaped Box
    Oasis – Stop crying your heart out
    Offspring – Self Esteem
    Otis Redding – (Sittin' On) On The Dock Of The Bay
    Patsy Cline – Crazy
    Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here
    Pixies – Where Is My Mind?
    Placebo – Without You I'm Nothing
    Portishead – Glory Box
    Prince – I Could Never Take The Place
    Prince – When Doves Cry
    Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody
    Radiohead – 2+2=5
    Radiohead – Creep
    Radiohead – No Surprises
    Radiohead – Paranoid Android
    Rage Against the Machine – Wake Up
    Ray Charles – I Cant Stop Loving You
    Red Hot Chili Peppers – Scar Tissue
    Red Hot Chilly Peppers – Under The Bridge
    REM - Everybody Hurts
    Rolling Stones – Satisfaction
    Roy Orbison – Crying
    Roy Orbison – When a Man Loves a Woman
    Rufus Wainwright – Hallelujah
    Scissor Sisters – Comfortably Numb
    Semisonic – Closing Time
    Semisonic – Secret Smile
    Sinead O'Conner – Nothing Compares to You
    Smashing Pumpkins – Today
    Soft Cell – Tainted Love
    Tenacious D – F**k Her Gently
    The Beatles – Yesterday
    The Buzzcocks – Ever Fallen In Love
    The Cardigans – Lovefool
    The Clash – Should I Stay Or Should I Go
    The Corrs – What Can I Do
    The Human League – Don't you want me
    The Killers – Mr Brightside
    The Undertones – Teenage Kicks
    Toni Braxton – Unbreak My Heart
    Tracy Chapman – All That You Have Is Your Soul
    U2 - With or Without You
    Weezer – Say It Ain't So
    William Shatner – Common People

    my MSN is still dgl269@hotmail.com

    11 Feb 2005, 00:05

  11. An old fart writes:

    To capture that true anti-Valentine's day vibe, only one song will do: Love Stinks, by the J Geils Band. No, really; it will rock your world.

    11 Feb 2005, 00:50

  12. I suggest:
    Neil Young – Only Love Can Break Your Heart
    The Smiths – How Soon Is Now?
    Joy Division – Love Will Tear Us Apart
    Jimmy Eat World – If You Don't, Don't

    11 Feb 2005, 01:29

  13. I'd reccommend "If love is a red dress. (Hang me in rags)" By Maria Mckee…too be found mostly on the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.

    11 Feb 2005, 01:40

  14. To Celine – YAY! Have to agree with you, The Shins rock! – especially New Slang, listening to it right now!

    To Dan – I thought you were having a 'YAY, we're not in love and proud of it' anti-valentines party because doesn't playing sad songs imply that we wish to be part of hallmark's hellish excuse to manufacture greetings cards and that we are miserable without love, and we arent – hooray! Gloria Gaynor on repeat!

    11 Feb 2005, 02:10

  15. P.S. This is what I like to call…DENIAL

    11 Feb 2005, 02:13

  16. There is a mix of mournful, funny and in some cases angry songs. The thing with love is that we are all its bitches, sometimes we rail against it, sometimes we surrender and weep in its presence. Other times there's nothing left to do but laugh.

    I cater for all anti-valentines day feelings.

    11 Feb 2005, 02:38

  17. beautifully put.

    11 Feb 2005, 02:48

  18. Die in the Summertime by the manics is quite sad, as is This is Yesterday. In fact, The Holy Bible and enough razor-blades and monday night will be sorted…

    (and hopefully devoid of singing…)

    11 Feb 2005, 08:43

  19. Alanis Morissette : You Oughta Know

    It's a great angry song

    11 Feb 2005, 08:47

  20. If your feeling angry listen to some Bill Hicks – wow! No one is more angry than them and hes very funny.

    11 Feb 2005, 09:36

  21. 10CC I'm not in love?

    11 Feb 2005, 10:42

  22. I would also like to suggest that the vd day cards would make great decorations for an anti valentines party.

    http://www.meish.org/vd/

    11 Feb 2005, 11:24

  23. Yes those are all awesome Clair, we all laughed heartily at them the other day.

    I may indeed post them up around the house.

    Thankyou for more good suggestions! I am indeed endeavouring to locate as many of these as possible A revised playlist coming soon.

    11 Feb 2005, 13:07

  24. Anything by Simon & Garfunkel… or Leonard Cohen, he's always depressing. :)

    11 Feb 2005, 14:32

  25. on an entirely different note, if u know stuff about these computer things, why did the screen of my lovely new laptop go completely blank for no reason?

    11 Feb 2005, 15:05

  26. Kimberley: Yaay I've had New Slang on repeat for quite a while!
    I've downloaded other stuff by The Shins-but haven't had a proper chance to listen to them yet :(

    Dan: Back of My Hand – Gemma Hayes is a kinda sad yet comforting song

    11 Feb 2005, 15:27

  27. Dear Celine,

    I Love them, I've really gotten into their music since Garden State – Caring is Creepy is the best song, ooh Dan that's actually a good one to put on the playlist!

    11 Feb 2005, 17:58

  28. Warren

    Where's Blue Hotel, by Chris Isaak? Not to mention Wicked Game…

    11 Feb 2005, 18:17

  29. Eric Clapton – Tears in Heaven, got it playing now—> tears in tile hill

    11 Feb 2005, 22:11

  30. Mmm. Excellent idea. I would disagree with Kimmy-it shouldn't be about celebrating singleness it should be about wallowing in collective self-pity. Can I have an invite Daniel please…......? I am after all single, bitter and filled with unrequited love..

    We need more BLUES and SOUL in the mix!!!

    "How Blue can you get " B.B King
    The Thrill has Gone B.B.King
    Love in Vain Robert Johnson
    "I Want you" Marvin Gaye -after all the whole reason most people feel miserable on Valentines day is unrequited love
    "When did you stop loving me" Marvin Gaye
    "Only the Lonely" Roy Orbison
    "Eleanor Rigby" Beatles
    "No Caroline" Beach Boys
    "This Old Heart of Mine" Isley Brothers
    I don't want you back Eamonn

    11 Feb 2005, 22:34

  31. You can come if you admit that Thatcher was wrong about everything :p

    11 Feb 2005, 23:16

  32. Jessica: Do you run Microsoft® Windows®? Ah, that'll be your problem, then. Switch to Linux, and all will be fine. :)

    That or it went into powersave mode… but I always prefer the 'blame Microsoft' approach.

    11 Feb 2005, 23:53

  33. its working fine and brilliant now (touchwood)

    i prefer to blame the postal service for bashing it and making it upset. and i have never heard of linux. why is that?

    12 Feb 2005, 00:16

  34. Don't show her the Dark Side Tim!

    Its an alternative 'open source' operatings ystem for your computer, it dos the job that microsoft windows does except its widely loved by a certain strand of techy person who usually reciprocally loathe Microsoft. It has a reputation for reliablity but as a product is generally too confusing for the average user, an image they (the open source movement) are trying to shatter with new flagship products (firefox) and regular improvements.

    Thats it roughly anyways.

    12 Feb 2005, 00:25

  35. o yeh… right…

    12 Feb 2005, 00:57

  36. Warren

    Firefox is great.

    12 Feb 2005, 01:22

  37. Ditto on firefox.

    Also ditto on more blues and soul music. Maybe the Blues Brothers, Everybody needs somebody to love?

    12 Feb 2005, 10:40

  38. class track

    12 Feb 2005, 10:55

  39. Yay an invite. Wait a bit Thatcher was wrong about everything. That would be blasphemy of the highest order. I must be able to wriggle out of it.

    Daniel I formally state that Mark Thatcher was wrong about everything. Smuggling diamonds and arranging military coups is petty and childish, as is lying in court and abusing the generosity of his mother and expoiting her fame for his own interests. He is a dreadful son and Dennis and Margaret should be ashamed of him. Margaret was a fantastic mother of the nation but where Mark was concerned she failed miserably.

    12 Feb 2005, 14:39

  40. Oh talking about Blues Brothers how about some Sam and Dave
    You don't know what you mean to me

    Oh and some Carpenters-for depressing music you cannot beat Karen singing Yesterday once more, or

    What about What becomes of the Brokenhearted Jimmy Ruffin

    Oh and what are the details, time place etc for this Valentines thing because for the first time in my life i am actually looking forward to valentines day or at least the evening.

    I am even pressing my blue blazer, my tory rosette, and my white flannels in preparation. I am even trying to grow a blue carnation to put in my buttonhole. Thank God for GM!

    12 Feb 2005, 14:46

  41. Ye gods!

    I'd feel terribly bad turning anyone away on the loneliest of evenings but I feel I must warn you that this house is a den of foul communism. Even the front door is a lily livered liberal democrat yellow. I'm not convinced I could stop my che guevara worshipping housemates from feeding on your still warm flesh.

    However, its happening on monday night from 8 o'clock at my house. I'm somewhat reluctant to give away my address in such a public forum so you shall have to contact me via MSN for the specifics.

    12 Feb 2005, 16:36

  42. Could you not meet him at the bus-stop, blindfold him and suitably disorientate him before leading him here, repeating the process for the return journey?

    12 Feb 2005, 17:02

  43. ooh that sounds too kinky for anti valentines day.
    Don't worry Dan I can tone down my conservatism and avoid any political discussions. Besides conservative or not like the rest of you I hate valentines day

    13 Feb 2005, 00:06

  44. A loveley Anti Valentines Day collection is Charlotte the Harlot and 22 Accacia Avenue both by Iron Maiden. Charming information about prostitutes and dens of iniquity – Anti-Love if you will

    14 Feb 2005, 02:04


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