Get well quick tips
As I've been laid up here in bed (thanks demons of illness, you really know how to pick the best time for me to get ill) I set my mind to thinking of some awesome ways to cure myself and others similarly afflicted:
- Brain transplant – If the body breaks, its time for a new one.
- Flux capacitor – Just send the offending body part back to the future.
- Home-made surgery – That bread knife has just been waiting to fulfill its true purpose.
- Drink acid – You'll soon forget all about that nasty cold.
- Obtain super powers – Particularly that mutant healing factor or…
- Vampirisim – Join the ranks of the living dead.
- Digitize yourself – Norton Anti-virus will take care of the rest.
- Cyborgirize your ass – nanobots, nanobots, nanobots.
- Learn from Nietzsche – He was ill his entire life and still kicked ass.
- Flambe – The cleansing power of fire is well documented.
- Eye of Toad – Witchcraft should not be sneered at.
- Scrubs – Far better than a real hospital; check me in at the Sacred Heart.
- Fight fire with fire – Contract a worse virus to beat up the original illness for you.
- Get drunk – Until you can no longer feel your limbs.
- Gamma radiation – Why the hell not.
What are your healing tips?