Big Blogger: Day 21
Most of the blog mates are in the living room discussing last week’s eviction, except James who is still in the bed. Nicky is in the bathroom shaving off his sideburns…
Chris enters the bathroom
Chris: Nick, you itchy lump of freak, why are you putting your beard-hair in a bowl?
Nicky: (to the bowl) Don’t listen to him my pretties! We are perfectly normal, aren’t we yessss! (Nicky, begins stroking the bowl affectionately, and rubbing his crotch, as Chris backs out of the door)
Back in the living room
Nat: Oooh, I don’t think James is coping very well since Chris K got evicted, he’s been in the bedroom for hours now.
Mat: Good riddance to him, I couldn’t stand his constant posing…. No offence Dan.
Dan: (admiring himself in the mirror) Hmmm… Oh none taken. Doesn’t my hair look fantastic today? I’m thinking of getting it framed.
Sam: (definitely not passing a note to Natalie) I hate James. He smells of sweaty man-arse and his head is stupid.
Nat: What do you think Nick?
Nick has wrapped a black shirt around his head and is crouched in the corner. Dan has a pair of tweezers out and appears to be gently re-arranging the pores of his skin. Sam is drooling profusely.
Nick: I know of no Nick. For I am ‘The Shadow’ I am silent like the badger and I strike swiftly in the night!
Mat: If that’s how you like it…
Nick proceeds to run swiftly outside into the Big Blogger garden.
Mat: OoooKay. Who wants lunch?
Andy: Awesome idea.
Dan: Hey, that’s my line…
Mat: Awesome. Make me some while you’re up
Dan: I'm warning you guys…
Later on the sofas, Holly, and Simon are talking about guitars…
Holly: I like it when you can really feel the bass…
Simon: Yeah totally.
Holly: The sensation of a bass at your finger tips takes me back to my childhood memories by the sea side when I would frolic lazily amidst the waves dreaming of growing up and expressing myself to my full potential. It really gets inside what it means to be the essence of Holly y’know.
Simon: Oh yeah.
Kieran is in the diary room talking to Big Blogger.
Kieran: I’m not sure I’m really right for the Big Blogger house, I miss my family and everyone else here seems to be insane. They’re really starting to freak me out.
Big Blogger: Kieran, try and stick it out till the end of the week and tell us how you feel then.
Kieran: Ok, Big Blogger. I guess I did design the house. Isn’t it pretty?
There is a pause.
Big Blogger: The house is very pretty, Kieran.
8pm James is still in the bedroom on to his record breaking 35th self pleasuring of the day.
James: Ohhh, James! Jaaaames! JAAAAAAAAAAMEES!…Ahhhh.
By Dan, Sam and Mat