January 01, 2005

Awesome Icons: Blackbeard

Here's how one commentator described Blackbeard, the dread 18th century devil pirate extraordinaire:

"the embodiment of impregnable wickedness, of reckless daring, a nightmarish villain so lacking in any human kindness that no crime was above him. . . the living picture of an ogre who roamed the seas and withered all before him with his very presence"

This is a fellow so awesome that he carried, at all times, six cocked and loaded pistols in a bandolier across his chest and lit slow burning matches that he tied into his huge coal black beard. He dressed all in black, and was so terrifying to look upon that most of his enemies surrendered immediately. Here is another example of his oustanding contribution to awesome:

"In 1717 he appeared before Governor Charles Eden of North Carolina with 20 of his men and received the king's pardon. Blackbeard appears to have been no stranger to the governor. A contemporary described portions of stolen pirate loot being carried to Eden House and observed that "Governors are but Men." Blackbeard proceeded to acquire a fine home near Bath, North Carolina—an area where frontier morality still prevailed—and was married by Governor Eden to a 16-year-old bride who, unbeknownst to her, was his 14th wife. Ten among her predecessors were still living."

At the peak of his powers he was eventually undone by treachery and the superior numbers of a plucky crew of english seaman, but not before he managed to fight on after sustaining twenty five seperate wounds (five of which were from pistols) and shattered the enemy captain's sword like a twig. By all accounts when his beheaded corpse was thrown overboard it swam three times around the enemy ship in defiance.

His silver plated skull is now used as a drinking cup.

Awesomeness points: 94/100

- 17 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. I especially like the way he playfully flirted with Keira Knightley while fending off all his enemies. Now that's awesome.

    Am I confused?

    01 Jan 2005, 20:21

  2. Haha, I was thinking that too, before even seeing your comment.

    What is the Jonny Depp/Jack Sparrow awesomeness rating? It has to be at least 98 surely?

    01 Jan 2005, 20:27

  3. Jonny Depp is off the scale.

    01 Jan 2005, 20:38

  4. mmmm jonny depp


    01 Jan 2005, 22:09

  5. Johnny Depp rules.

    Watched Edward Scissorhands the other day. It's ace as well.

    01 Jan 2005, 22:16

  6. I'm with Helen on this one. Mmmmm….Johnny Depp.

    (snaps out of it)

    Who is very awesome.

    Obviously not as awesome as your good self Daniel, but y'know, can't have everything.

    01 Jan 2005, 23:20

  7. Sorry, but I have to stand aside for Mr. Depp.

    I know when I'm beaten.

    02 Jan 2005, 00:50

  8. But who is awesome enough to use this Silver-plated Skull cup?

    Is it Johnny Depp (I agree with everyone here *Sigh^) or is there someone shock yet more awesome?!

    02 Jan 2005, 19:20

  9. Arnie.

    02 Jan 2005, 20:02

  10. In tight Pants – 'Commando' style*

    *See what i did there?

    02 Jan 2005, 20:05

  11. Hmm…Johnny Depp.

    20 Apr 2005, 18:01

  12. kassie :)

    so cool! so sexy ! is he going to be in blackbeard? I know that he was in westport washington this weekend!that is the movie they were filming there this weekend . I got to talk to the main photographer .

    13 Jun 2005, 15:48

  13. Angela

    Jonny Depp is the sexiest man alive. Ohh yeah Baby!

    05 Jul 2005, 02:40

  14. Sarah

    Johnny Depp is so hot i would say he is even more hotter than Orlando Bloom.I would say that in the faces od Orlando Bloom lovers,thats how hot i think Johnny is.I even feel sad when people say they hate Johnny Depp i feel like Im alone at that time or i feel like crawling into my bathroom in the corner with the lights off!!!if ur reading this johnny im me my screennames r sew987654 and dumdskool,or e-mail me at sew987654@comcast.net please read this!!!I LOVE U JOHNNY DEPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    02 Sep 2005, 03:03

  15. deb8045

    checkout the Johnny Depp Posters at -http://www.mypostercorner.com/bestseller/johnnydepp/

    29 Dec 2006, 20:04

  16. Johnny Depp

    I love Jon to.

    15 Feb 2007, 22:22

  17. Helen Brown

    Johnny Depp…..........................yummy. ‘Come to ma ma’ xx

    his beauty is inside as well as out. his talent for portraying characters is outstanding. his gracefulness, & charm shine out of him.
    He is a perfect, gorgeous, man & ‘oh boy’ do I wish I could get to know him.

    05 Apr 2007, 11:52

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