All entries for Monday 20 December 2004

December 20, 2004

Awesome Icons: Zatoichi

Forget Blunkett, this guy is the quintessential blind ass kicker. A film legend in Japan, Zatoichi has featured in almost as many films as Godzilla. To understand just why he is so fantastic you just have to look at his day job: Masseur and Gambler. Thats right, he not only gets to oil up and rub down hot Japanese ladies all day, he mixes it up down at the casino by night. You can bet he always wins too; he's just that awesome.

The reason they made so many films about him though, is because of his incredible skill in armed combat. His cunning tactic is to look like a harmless, blind, old man; right up until the point the bandits, or whatever marauders are intent on beating him, are about to do their nasty work. Then WHAM... See, that little stick he carries is not only one of those canes that blind people use to feel out obstacles ahead; it also has a sword inside it.

His speciality is to stand almost perfectly motionless stick in hand while the other guy prances around like a prat for five minutes, and then just as the other guy is about to strike a fatal blow, he draws the sword and whips of the unfortunate fellow's head in one fluid motion.
While doing all these awesome limb chopping things he manages to appear totally cool, which makes it all seem arty and very profound.

Blindingly brilliant.

Awesomeness points: 82/100

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