All entries for Tuesday 05 April 2005

April 05, 2005

The re–education of menfolk

Follow-up to The re–education of womenfolk from Dan Lawrence's Blog

Sick of never having anyone to sex you up good? Noone to hold during the scary bits in Jurassic Park? A complete lack of suitable female compatriates to snuggle with?

Menfolk of the hetrosexual persuasion, cease your complaining. It seems that if you aren't getting many dates and you want them then there must be something wrong with you. Wait! Don't run off into an ecstacy of self pity. Come back here and learn, you don't have to be an arse to get plenty of love from the ladies.

Your two weapons are self-love (for once I'm not talking about wanking, though of course it fills in those lonely evenings) and not being beigely boring.

Noone likes ugly, boring things. AWESOME (what? there hadn't been one for a while). If you think you look like an ugly man freak and you feel that everything you do is ungraceful and awkward, stuttering and incompetent; this will be a self fulfilling prophecy. Do you like to sort your paper clips? STOP IT If you're so boring you even bore yourself (quick check, if left alone with yourself do you sit around saying "I'm bored. I'm soooooooo bored" while sitting on your arse?" you're probably pretty boring if even you can't stand to spend time with yourself) then you have to make change. Yes, its not too late; you can become interesting. Take up a few hobbies, watch a few challenging films, read some challenging books, let yourself go now and again, take a joy in living.

Your homework is reading Nietzsche and trying to smile at any girls you think are pretty and hold their gaze before moving on.


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