February 20, 2007

What makes a 'Good man'?

Open discussion for all,

What makes ‘A Good man’?

Opinions please

- 42 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. A good wife.

    20 Feb 2007, 11:58

  2. Manners maketh the man.

    20 Feb 2007, 17:03

  3. Daisy girl

    I agree with Luke!!

    20 Feb 2007, 21:20

  4. ‘Daisy Girl’ you’d better make me a good man then! LOL

    Surely this isn’t the only prerequesite for becoming a good man. There are good men that I know who currently live a celibate life…...

    21 Feb 2007, 08:04

  5. Helen,


    but what about seemingly charming and well mannered men who turn out to be a deceiver, love-rat, charlatan, cad, bounder, wide-boy,.. (some unmentionables I wont include, remembering my manners of course ;o)

    21 Feb 2007, 08:08

  6. AJ

    “If you have to ask…” and all that. Everyone’s definition will be different. To me, a good person is a good friend, someone I can talk to, who is trustworthy and reliable. Someone willing to help out when they’re needed.

    And the only difference between “a good man”, “a good woman” and “a good person” is the gender.

    21 Feb 2007, 11:46

  7. aaaah, that’s so cute AJ.
    Try honesty AJ. Just once?

    21 Feb 2007, 15:46

  8. Calling him “a good man”, according to Dave Eggers.

    21 Feb 2007, 19:57

  9. A good PR agent.

    21 Feb 2007, 22:51

  10. “No, Igor, I said a fresh brain! Fresh!”

    22 Feb 2007, 10:08

  11. My boyfriend

    22 Feb 2007, 21:09

  12. Ailsa: awww.. isn’t that sweet (not sarcastically for once)

    Christ knows, its in the eye of the beholder (although i do see my problem that i’ve just said beauty = good but screw it you know what i mean, it depends on who’s judging).

    22 Feb 2007, 22:58

  13. So in summary,

    So far a Good man
    has a wife,
    a girlfriend,
    is no different to a woman or a person (!?),
    has a PR Agent,
    is beautiful and not judged
    has a fresh brain
    is called a good man

    Simply eh?

    23 Feb 2007, 09:20

  14. A good man doesn’t ask questions like “what makes ‘A Good Man’?”

    23 Feb 2007, 19:16

  15. And a good man definitely doesn’t reply to the question “what makes ‘A Good Man’?”

    23 Feb 2007, 19:17

  16. Does that make “good man” and “postwhore” mutually exclusive categories?

    23 Feb 2007, 23:32

  17. 24 Feb 2007, 15:46

  18. Mary

    A good man is someone who cares. When I was a child my mother used to tell us off if we said “I don’t care” She would say “Please don’t use that awful phrase.” I now know exactly what she meant.

    26 Feb 2007, 07:36

  19. Also, a good man never dates a woman who answers the question “What makes ‘A Good Man’?”

    26 Feb 2007, 09:16

  20. A good man is someone who cares. When I was a child my mother used to tell us off if we said “I don’t care” She would say “Please don’t use that awful phrase.” I now know exactly what she meant.

    Are you a character from Little House on the Prairie?

    26 Feb 2007, 10:50

  21. James Hughes,

    Is this a generally-held-view or are you assuming I
    a) have a girlfriend and
    b) assume she has asked me this?

    Could it be
    c) I have asked myself this question and offered it open to discussion?


    Prairie or not, I would imagine your mother is/was a compassionate woman and some one worth knowing.

    26 Feb 2007, 11:54

  22. ; ) The TJ

    Well, guess you could say that if you acted in all of the fruits of the spirit you’d not go far wrong DD.

    26 Feb 2007, 14:12

  23. Darren – I have no idea what you are talking about. I was just trying to help in solving the mystery of what makes a good man.

    26 Feb 2007, 15:09

  24. James

    ‘Good’ is one of those ambiguous words, isn’t it? ‘It was a good footy match’... ‘Good to see you’... ‘They gave him a good kicking’... ‘God is good’. So I guess it depends on your definition. But, for what’s its worth (and I reckon its worth a good – sorry – deal) here’s a little excerpt from a very ancient definition of what makes a man not so much good, as blessed:

    Blessed is the man
    whose sin the LORD does not count against him
    and in whose spirit is no deceit.
    (Psalm 32:2)

    26 Feb 2007, 15:17

  25. You’re right, that really is relevant.


    God died 150-odd years ago, don’t you remember? Or did he rise again, again?

    26 Feb 2007, 15:24

  26. Sup

    James Hughes – A good man still stands after he has been kicked in the nuts. :-)

    Here’s what Rudyard Kipling says about the matter, and I can’t help but agree with him.


    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
    But make allowance for their doubting too,
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
    Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

    If you can dream – and not make dreams your master,
    If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much,
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

    26 Feb 2007, 16:25

  27. According to good ol’ Rudyard, then, a good man:
    1) Must be emotionless
    2) Gambles
    3) Is average-looking
    4) Is capable of living even after all his insides have been scooped out

    I fit all four of the above criteria. I’m off to celebrate.

    26 Feb 2007, 16:42

  28. Sup

    James Hughes: Ha! That made me laugh out loud. Touche!

    Here’s something that will make a good man, if he’s up for the challenge.

    26 Feb 2007, 17:32

  29. Mary

    Yes, Darren, my Mother was and still is a very compassionate woman and definitely worth knowing. That was a sweet observation.

    26 Feb 2007, 23:43

  30. Crispy

    I think Kipling was an exceedingly good man.

    27 Feb 2007, 08:44

  31. Sup,

    Reading ‘If’ for the first time in along while – If a man like that was given the world I would say he has been sold short; If he were given a place in heaven though, I’d say “that’s more like it”.

    Yet if a man like that were to still deny God he wouldn’t get in…. Humbling

    27 Feb 2007, 09:36

  32. Not humbling – retarded. If God thinks that people who don’t believe in him do so because they turn their back on him, then he is the dumbest omniscient being ever. Not having anywhere near enough evidence to choose to follow Christianity ahead of any other religion; being of the quite valid opinion that organised religion is detrimental to free-thought and, to some degree at least, a threat to society; being unprepared to be so arrogant as to suggest that I have any idea who or what ‘God’ means, and thus being extremely unwilling to attach myself to groups of socially inept zealots who claim to have that knowledge: none of these things deserve God’s punishment. “Oh, but you have to have faith.” is tantamount to saying “Don’t search for any real answers, guys, because I have a book here that has a stab, and it all seemed quite appealing to me, so I’m going to call it The Truth, and if you don’t believe me, well you can burn in hell.”

    Religion is disgusting, because it breeds an arrogance and self-righteousness to which its members are completely blind. To a large extent, it also encourages its members to view life as a means to an end – we are here to serve, and heaven is where all the good stuff is. That’s a pretty crappy message. I really hope there is an afterlife, and that some pagan cult got it right, so you can spend eternity mulling over your inadvertent superiority complexes in their hell. And I really hope I’m there with you to point and laugh. Even if Christianity has got it right, you’re only right by chance, and that’s hardly something to get self-righteous and celebratory over now, is it?

    27 Feb 2007, 09:54

  33. Piers

    I’d say that the nearest a man gets to being good is to be a disciple of Jesus. That way he can express something of the goodness of Jesus himself, who was the only totally good man that ever walked on earth.

    27 Feb 2007, 10:54

  34. Apparently if you cut James Hughes’s arm he bleeds pure winnage.

    27 Feb 2007, 13:19

  35. Sup

    You may be right. But that doesn’t mean you, or he, is ‘good’. To win any argument on a discussion blog post about being a good man surely carries little prestige.

    But getting back to the subject. I think a good man is someone who gives his life for others. I can think of various of my family and friends who have given their life in some way for me – and that’s good.

    28 Feb 2007, 08:50

  36. Mary

    Surely it’s not an argument to be won or lost but more an ongoing debate. It’s sweet that you think members of your family and friends have given part of their lives for you, Sup but it’s not healthy to feel indebted to people and I’m sure they think you’re well worth any sacrifices they’ve made. After all “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

    28 Feb 2007, 21:39

  37. Well thank you all for your comments, the prize for the best has to go to Joe Shepard for his picture of John Goodman.

    02 Mar 2007, 13:39

  38. Mary

    Mary´s for real, she walks the earth like a good ún and she´s here to stay. Rudyard Kiplings not all that but here´s something to get your teeth into, Vincent ¨Have the courage to change those things you can, the humility to accept those you can´t and the wisdom to know the difference.¨

    06 Mar 2007, 21:59

  39. he’s a racist.

    07 Mar 2007, 19:51

  40. ; ) The TJ

    What exactly is your gripe Vincent?

    09 Mar 2007, 20:08

  41. He loves the attention. And who wouldn’t?!

    09 Mar 2007, 23:21

  42. Vincent deleted your previous comment, please refrain from using language that other may find offensive, there are more creative ways of provoking a reaction.

    12 Mar 2007, 11:16

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