All entries for January 2005
January 31, 2005
I have been totally devoid of blogging ideas lately, just been a bit down and mopey and couldn't be bothered with blogging, some may have seen me wanderingaround campus in my own little sullen world.
For some reason I decided I would like to keep a written diary, or rather journal I suppose, I guess I plan on writing more intimate, inane things in it, I know I am fairly open and honest on my blog but there are still things I avoid saying as I know certain people are reading. I know I could just use personal entries but it just doesn't feel the same, I want a tangible record.
To add to the excitement I am going to write in my journal with my left hand, I would really like to be able to write with both hands and this would be excellent practise as I can't practise whilst taking notes because I can't write fast enough to. So hopefully this journal will be a record of my inner most thoughts as well as showing how my left-handed hand writing will hopefully improve over time.
A pencil and a rubber are going to be important.
January 29, 2005
Ok I am blogging from Computer Science on a saturday afternoon, what the hell am I doing here? I originally came onto campus to go to the Gym, which I did, for the first time this term I did a solid hours exercise. It didn't completely knacker me either. Question is why did I come to computer science instead of going home? I really have no idea, I guess I'll go home when I get bored here.
I know I haven't blogged in ages, I meant to blog on thursday evening (early hours of friday really) after returning from DV8 in Birmingham but it was 4am before I returned and I fell asleep fairly quickly, and then I was up again at 9am on friday and didn't get home till 6:30, most of the evening was spent doing nothing constructive and napping. Anyway I'll get onto what I actually planned to say on thursday evening…
It was a good night out but, oh my god, it was the most depressing night ever. I know that sounds contradictory, how could it have been a good night but yet been the most depressing one ever? Well it was a good night because its always nice to escape the saneness of Rainbows, there are also far more members of pride that make the trip out. Lets also not forget to mention that the amount of unbelievably hot talent is much greater at DV8 than Rainbows. Ok so they were the good points, now for the bad:
Basically it was very depressing to watch everyone else pulling and me sat there not doing, I know it's my fault. I don't really try to, I don't dance for a start which doesn't help. I am too shy to approach anyone, and should I get myself into a conversation with someone I like then I am absolutely useless at trying to turn it in my favor, I even struggle to be flirty. I spent most of the night either sat or stood with this other guy who I think is quite cute, we talked alot about random stuff but it never went any further than that, I don't know whether he was interested or not, I never really found out because I didn't try to make any move, and from talking to him I am pretty sure I would have to be the one to make a move before he would show if there was interest.
To top it all off, at the end of the night I was watching over the group dancing, and one of the group manages to pull a guy who I thought was sooo absolutely cute, he could have pulled any other cute guy in there and it wouldn't have been depressing but he managed to pull the one who I had been oggling for a long time, I should be pleased for him really, its not as though I'd have been in there if he hadn't pulled cute guy. So there you go, it was incredibly depressing, but despite that the night went fairly quickly and was enjoyable.
January 25, 2005
I have no one to hug, well its not quite that simple, I know quite a few people that should I ask them for a hug they would happily oblige. What I mean is I have no one to which I can just walk up and hug, without asking, and they'll just hug me back – no questions asked.
I really needed a hug-buddy a couple of weeks ago at Rainbows, I wasn't particularly depessed about anything in particular, I was just a little down and a hug would have done me the world of good. It was then that this entry was thought up, its just taken me nearly two weeks to get round to it, mainly because I think I am having another moment where I could just do with a hug.
Does anyone else have such a hug-buddy? Or is it something to only expect from a significant other? which I also happen to be lacking. I am in a very reflective mood, if it wasn't for the fact its cloudy I'd probably be out in the cold somewhere taking moonlit photos of solitary things like leaf-less trees.
So its day 2 of my new regime, I managed to be up for 6am yesterday, I made a huge curry and ate that for breakfast, mmmmm curry for breakfast. I also tidied the kitchen again and made lunch and was on campus for 8:20am. Went to the gym for a whole 15mins because I overdid it a bit on the cycles and it took me about half an hour to recover.
I had my lunch at about 12:30 in Computer Science which, over the course of the time I was in there, had some of the power bloggers: Dan, Sam, Mat, Andy Ingram and the Nicks. I eventually left campus at 7:30pm after being there for over 11 hours, in which I had only 1 lecture. Went to bed at just gone 11 after a very small amount to eat.
I may have to make a few changes to the regime though, I woke up today at 6am and I was soooo very nearly tempted to go back to bed till 7am, I think I should allow myself lie ins especially when I don't start work till midday on a tuesday. I suppose I'd best get out of bed now and have breakfast, if you can still call it that?
January 23, 2005
Wow I don't know what happened, it has been a week since I blogged, I think thats the longest I've gone blogless since I started. Its not as though I had nothing to say, I have had a couple of ideas over the week although now I have forgotten them all which is annoying. Anyway I have decided I might try a new regime, in an attempt to be a more healthy, hardworking me, plus it may mean I actually bother to blog more.
The plan: To get up at 6am every morning whatever time I start lectures, and to aim to go to bed at about 11pm each night. Getting up and going to bed at these times should enable me to do a few things. It should allow me to eat more healthily. They say you should eat the most at breakfast, have a moderate lunch and have very little for tea, very much the opposite to most peoples eating habbits. Getting up at 6am should give me time to cook and eat a nice meal each morning.
So I plan on starting tomorrow morning, be prepared to see a very bloodshot-eyed Chris around campus now, it will be nice if I can achieve it and keep it up but it seems unlikey as I am terrible at going to bed before midnight but I have to try as I believe a healthier lifestyle leads to a more productive one.
January 16, 2005
Today I will mostly be slagging of the media…
I am not one for keeping up with the news, I am always the last to hear about anything as I don't watch telly very often and I don't buy or read newspapers (except the Boar if you can call that a paper). But one this I do get to see is the front pages of a lot of papers whilst selling them at work, this reminds me why I don't waste time and money buying and reading them.
One paper in particularly caught my eye today, the News of the World. Todays front page headline was TV NOEL'S WIFE BEDDING BISEXUAL AND he's a kinky transvestite.... Why is this decent news? Noel Edmunds may be well know as a household name but these days he's not exactly an A-list celeb is he, he's nearly washed up enough to be appearing in the union. Also what the hell is so contraversial about his wife having an affair with a bisexual? In todays world, bisexuals aren't something totally taboo, its not that strange for a women to be having an affair with another man, even if he might fancy men at the weekends. As for him being a transvestite, again who really cares these days?
Should you wish to read this news story for all gory detail here's the link to the online version. Its not particulary interesting really. The headline basically translates to Some washed up celeb's wife has an affair, not exactly ground breaking news is it? Now if the headline was Noel Edmunds' marriage over, wife caught enjoying horses a little too much then that might be news worth reading!
January 14, 2005
I've noticed that I actually only really realise how much I've missed something when that something becomes part of my life again. The most prominent example I come across of this is coming back to uni. It makes me realise how much I have missed checking out cute guys as I wander round campus, how much I've missed standing on the science concourse watching their cute bodies wander by in their own little worlds.
I went out last night, to good old Rainbows, to meet up with the good old Pride crew. It was a really good night out, I finally got to meet Jen who is as lovely as they claim. As usual I wasn't drinking but I had a good time non-the-less. The barman was absolutely gorgeous! There wasn't a huge amount of talent out, as usual, but enough to keep the eyes occupied. What amazes me is how some people manage to pull every week despite being mingers, also as I don't pull every week does that mean I'm not a minger? or just that I'm a really unlucky minger?
January 10, 2005
…do we do it to ourselves? We were set a lab report to do before the christmas holidays due in today at 1pm, thats 5 whole weeks to complete it. So why is it that come 8:30pm last night I still hadn't started it? I decided it may be a good time to start, so I pack my bag in preperation to spend all night doing it and head off to campus to spend the night in DCS, I get there and the bloody place is locked.
Why was it locked? Apparently due to fire alarm problems, so I head off to the leaning grid which I've never been too, It's really posh in there and was quite busy, but there wastwo major problems; there is wireless internet and thus MSN access, and it was far too warm, I was nearly sweating in just a t-shirt. So I couldnt stay there, next stop maths, I was suprised my card got me into the building and then even more surprised it would let me into a computer room, although if it hadn't I would just have sat in reception as I've done before.
It was at this point that words were finally put to word document. I wrote my summary and then decided I was going to go to a friends in Earlsdon who also has the report to do, I arrive there at about 11:30pm, I wrote about another 1000 words whilst there despite the MSN distractions but at 2am took a break for over an hour and at 3:30 decided it was time to move on, so back to campus it was, I decided to try the learning grid again, as it would be quieter and cooler and even though MSN works the only people online were those in a similar situation.
I stayed in the learning grid till just gone 6am, during my time there I manages to get to about 1,850 words, tried to print it but then couldn't find the printer it had printed too (or any others for that matter). I must have wandered round looking lost and confused at least 6 times, I gave up in the end, especially as Natalie couldn't help me. By the time 6am came round I really needed a break, I decided on a walk around campus till 6:30 when I would be able to get into DCS, so I drove round from University house and parked in car park 15, and set of across campus, it was a bit windy and there was a fine wind but it was refreshing. I really enjoyed it, I also noticed that some of the signs with directions on light up in a really cool shade of blue.
So I was in computer science just after 6:30, I think the cleaner was surprised to see me, I wasnt too productive in the hour and 45 mins I was their, got my word count up to about 2,400 and just had my conclusion left to write. I then met the friend from Earlsdon at the bustop at 8 and we went to Engineering to finish off our work, by 8:30 I had written the worst conclusion ever and got to about 2,650 words and had enough, I printed the damn thing off and handed it in and headed of to Costcutters for food.
I only had one lecture today at 11 and planned on going to it but as it was only just coming up to 9 I decided I would go to a friends lecture to pass the time, I really couldn't stay awake in it and ended up sleeping for about 20 mins on and off, afterwards I decided it would be best to skip my lecture and head homewards, once home I went to Asda and sorted out a few things, I eventually feel asleep at about 12pm, so I was only up for 27 hours, not too long really.
January 09, 2005
That's it, I've decided, I'm going on holiday this summer. What I plan on doind may seem a little strange to some of you. I plan on going alone, completely alone and I don't plan on leaving the UK. I am going to spend roughly two weeks travelling around the UK in in my car with little more than my digital camera, my laptop, some food, a good book or two and a tent. Not your conventional holiday by far.
I plan on going more or less as soon as the summer term ends, I will start by heading off towards Scotland, perhaps right up to the very north, and then slowly work my way back down the country west side of the country to be in Southampton on the 7th of July to see Oasis live. Then after that I may make a couple of stops in the south east before returning home.
Although I am planning on taking a tent I plan on basically living in my car for two weeks, I shall probably end up sleeping in it too here and there. I shall spend most of my days either driving about or just taking in the outside air perhaps while reading a book sat on a hill or taking a photo or two of various things like the sunset. I may also visit the odd sight, and do a bit of walking but nothing too strenuous. I plan on keeping a journal type thing whilst I am away, which I will hopefully transcribe onto my blog when I return.
I shall be taking my laptop so that I can transfer the photos off of my camera, and as I will have it with me I may as well use it as a journal. I will of course be taking my digital camera, and shall also be buying a tripod to take along. I may even take a normal SLR camera so that I can take some really decent shots, especially in strange lighting conditions, like at sunset. My new mp3 player will also be coming along to keep me entertained whilst driving around. I will also be needing some kind of gas cooker, and associated cooking tools as I don't play on buying all my meals. A sleeping bad will be essential, and a tent and my camp bed will also come in useful even though I will probably spend most of the nights sleeping in the car wherever I happen to stop.
At the moment I don't have the route particular planned out, I am open to suggestions of places worth passing by, and also suggestions of a good book or two to read whilst i'm away. I'm not sure exactly why I want to do this, travelling isn't something I have ever had an interest in, but this holiday has now become something I really want to do, 2 weeks on my own, to think about whatever I want, not to be tied down to anywhere or anything in particular, time to myself and maybe even reflect upon myself.
I look forward to spending nights staring into the starry night sky, days spent looking out over vast distances of nothing but beautiful landscapes. It's a very tranquil dream which I am now determined to do, it will cost quite a bit in petrol but very little else, I am going to start saving now for it. You probably all think I am crazy, 2 weeks alone, travelling around nowhere, perhaps it would be less crazy if I went backpacking across Europe but that's not what I want to do, as I said, I have no interest in travelling, I just want a solitary holiday in which I can consider life.
January 08, 2005
As you may be aware a few of the power-bloggers got together today to watch the borrowing of one of Sam's DVD's by James. It was supposed to be just the two of them meeting to exchange the DVD but then I suggested I come along to meet Sam, and somehow from there half the world was invited.
I decided i'd trundle along to the publisized event, it was nice to see the people in real life but social get-togethers like that always leave me coming away a bit depressed to be honest, Its nothing to do with the people, they were lovely and didn't say anything nasty at all. I think it just makes me realise stuff about myself that I don't really want to have to think about. I always end up sat there quietly whilst thinking a million different thoughts. I feel so awkward, yet apparently, so I've been told, I'm fairly well received.
I hate this part of me so much that its quite an effort to drag myself along to these kind of things. Sam, who until today only knew me from the blogs and msn, said to me that I am quite quiet in real life. I had warned him of this fact to be fair. He was expecting someone a bit more camp, well it's just not me, I didn't make even one reference that would indicate my sexuality today, despite the fact that they all know my preference. Despite that fact I still can't say simple stuff like "I'd give him one" like James was perfectly capable of doing when Charlie from Busted was discussed, yes thats right folks, James would give Charlie from Busted one.