December 22, 2004

Happy Birthday

What is supposedly so magic about birthdays? It's my 21st today and I have to say apart from a couple of moving cards its hardly going to be remembered as a special day. Why is their so much emphasis on going out and getting totally plastered too? Is it so you can say when asked how your birthday was you can say "Yeah it must have been good because I don't remember it"? The last 2 years I have worked on my birthday, and I am doing tonight also. People tell me how bad that is that I can't get go out and celebrate (read as "get so drunk you forget the last year of your life") but to be perfectly honest I wouldn't do if I had the night off.

What differentiates your birthday from any other day of the year? Is it that night out which you aren't going to remember in the morning? If so it doesn't sound so special to me. Really the only thing to seperate a birthday from any other day is simply the fact that you're a year older, no great achievement on your part, if anyone should be thanked or made to feel special then it should be our mothers for their pain and effort of bringing us into this world. Fair enough that it's just a day to be pampered and made feel special but I feel that after a few years of receiving gifts every year it's no longer special.

It requires alot of planning and thought each year to make someone feel special year on year, each year they are going to expect that little bit more, if they get the same over and over that will just become the norm. It's a bit like Asda's way of working; they are continually trying to go that extra mile to improve customer service and thus increase profits, now thisis a scheme that was very sucessful at first and created a lot of growth but now it's become more and more difficult to please customers as they are expecting more and more each year, this scheme isn't going to work forever. Fresh ideas are needed.

Hmm, I feel I've digressed a little, I guess my point is I no longer find birthdays that special, a few cards may make me smile a little but not much more, I need something or someone to make me feel special. Perhaps I need a boyfriend? or even to just spend the day with a really close friend? I don't feel I have many close friends, perhaps non at all.

To all those of you that think I'm being a miserable sod then I don't care, its my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.

P.s. Anyone that has sent me a card or gift, I am grateful for them, some of them so alot of thought but to be honest not very many of them make me feel special as they are expect, surprises make me feel special, birthdays should be abolished and people should just give each other gifts at random intervals (again I suppose this is what happens in relationships, or should do as far as I'm concerned).


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  1. Awwww… this entry makes me feel sad. I'll say "Happy Birthday" in the hope that it cheers you up a bit…

    22 Dec 2004, 19:21

  2. Yeah, happy birthday!

    22 Dec 2004, 20:53

  3. Well yeh Chris, I kinda feel like that about birthdays. And what is so different, even on your 21st? Perhaps a boyfriend would make a difference – like it would change a lot of things (:

    But… your birthday – a for celebration of the person you are, are becoming, your self, your choices, your identity. Where better to do that than on your blog? So thanks for being you, and for being you in a way that we can feel and feel good about. (And absolutely – why get (totally) drunk? Not much of a celebration of who you are.)

    And thanks, from one gay guy to another, for having had the guts to be out – right out (and right on!) – and letting everyone know about what that means for you. It's been a real boon for me, and it will have been important for loads of other people, seen and unseen.

    So… Many happy returns of the day!

    23 Dec 2004, 00:12

  4. Thanks, It's nice to see my ramblings about my life are apprieciated. I'm not so sure about the 'out – right out' bit, yeah I am out to alot of my friends and relatives, but i'm still not a very out acting person, I am unable to come out casually to people, I have blogged before about the situation – it is improving though, I feel i'm getting there slowly.

    23 Dec 2004, 03:11

  5. Happy birthday for yesterday Chris

    24 Dec 2004, 11:33

  6. Tut, not only did you forget my birthday James, when you did eventually wish me happy bithday you got the day wrong, Today is the 24th, my birthday was the 22nd… and you call yourself my biggest fan?

    24 Dec 2004, 13:37


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