All entries for Monday 20 December 2004

December 20, 2004

How about Queen?

Writing about an entry you don't have permission to view

For some reason I felt compelled to answer James' questions, maybe its because of my undying love for him…

Number 1: Why did I bother to write number before the 1, given that it is very obvious to all that "1" is a number?
It may be seem obvious that one is a number, but what is it exactly? Try defining a number, difficult isn't it. It's really just a concept.

2: What is the most keyboard-shaped thing that you brought with you to university?
I would have to say the most keyboard shaped thing I brought to uni was my guitar.

3: Would you centralize all industry, and replace the pound with chicken feet?
Centralise it to where? The centre I imagine, and yeah I would replace the pound but not with chicken feet, they would be awkward to put in the pocket, a crows foot would make more sense.

4: Whose brain would you most like to eat? Why?
I would most like to eat The Brain from Pinky and the Brain, he's my arch-nemesis when it comes to taking over the world, at least Pinky keeps him distracted for the time being.

5: What have you found that you'd most like to throw at Elton John?
A boomerang because it would come back and I could throw it again.

6: What's your favourite shade of yellow?
Has to be the shade that illuminus nuclear waste is, it just looks so wonderfully apetising.

7: If you had the power, would you eradicate poverty from the world with a few nukes to cetain countries?
Yeah definately, in fact i'd nuke everywhere and then I'd be the richest, and live at the North pole in the really cool snowy weather, while the rest of the world glows that lovely shade of yellow.

8: What are some things that make people nervous around you?
Its probably my third leg, and my incredible stench.

9: What's the best thing you've ever eaten? (this one was too good to change)
Oooo tough one, there was the one guy one who tasted abolutely exquisite but I think fried badger was nicer by a cats whisker.

10: What is your favourite Emu's name? What about Coyotes?
This is an easy one, Bob, all great emus are called Bob. Same goes for Coyotes, but not cats, who ever heard of a Bobcat?

11: Why oh why did you choose the course you're studying?
I didn't, I chose a different one and dropped out into this one, It was all the alien's fault, I was having so much fun when they were probing me I didn't notice them programming my mind.

12: What's on the walls in your room? Why? (again, needed no changing)
Blue paint mainly, although there is the odd manly stain, and the occasionally filthy poster of wild things to cover up the really bad stains.

13: Why does Mathew Mannion's blog page slow my computer down to snail's pace? Anyone??
That would be because of his huge attractive mass, his page is part of him and when your computer loads it all the little electrons can't easily escape its gravitaional pull so everything slows down.

14: Which body part of your friends would you most like to own?
Sam's self hatred, I just can't bear being less dark and twisted then him, the pain it causes me seeing him more screwed up them me is too great.

15: And which would you most like to destroy?
Dan's awesome Gene, I'd love to seem him lost without his awesomeness, he'd not cope in this world, without it him and Sam would be powerless against James and myselfs attack, MuHaHaHaHa.

16: Who's funnier Pontius Pilate or Josef Stalin?
No idea who Pontius Pilate is so I'm going for Josef Stalin, he was a barrel of laughs.

17: Have you ever won a trophy? If so, why are you blogging? Do you have a personality defect? Or have you been struck with a crippling disease?
I once won a trophy for blogging which is why I blog, so yes I do have a personality defect otherwise I wouldn't be blogging and wouldn't have gained the awesome trophy at the Jamesters (bit like the bafters but awarded to bloggers by James)

18: I'm getting tired of writing these questions. Umm ?
And Im tired of answering but onwards I slowly plod.

19: If you won 5 million, how much do I stand to gain?
As previously discussed as you are my self-professed biggest fan you are entitled to 1% of all my winnings, thats £50,000 I believe.

20: What is your favourite time of day, to the nearest minute? Why?
23:14 as its guaranteed to be dark by then, so I can creep around in the shadows unoticed, as I enjoy doing.

21: What is the best place to live Jupiter, a snake-pit, or Swindon?
Jupiter, it makes nuking the rest of the planet much less dangerous to my own health.

22: List your top ten tips for a budding power blogger without using the words "blog", "the" or "blood".
The best tip is to ignore all the rules and blog your life away making sure to include the funny. Also killing all the funnier bloggers and taking pictures of them in a pool of their own blood shoud get you a few more brownie points amongst the lesser bloggers.


Screw you O2

I've had my Nokia 6100 on the O2 Online 100 tariff now for over a year, I decided it was time to upgrade, not because I'm fed up with my 6100 but because I am entitled to an upgrade so I may as well have one. I had my eye on a phone in particular; the Nokia 6230. I got the number for upgrades off the website, called it and followed the voice prompts which informed me I needed to call a different number, how useful?

So I call this new number which has nearly the same voice prompts and get through to a women in Manchester called Vicky. She asks for various detalis to verify my identity; mobile number, name, address, date of birth, number of guys i've slept with, which bum cheek my mole is on etc. I tell her I want to upgrade to the Nokia 6230, she tells me its not free and costs £99.99, I tell her I'm not paying for it when providers are offering it for free with new contracts. She makes up some bollocks about it being a hassle to start a new contract and that I wouldn't be able to keep my number (also untrue) and then tries to recommend other phones to me. I'd had enough, told her I didn't want to upgrade if its going to cost me, she apologised for not being able to help.

Ok, plan B time, call the disconnection department and request a PAC (port authorisation code) so that I can take my number to Orange and get the phone for free (well actually I didn't actually plan on moving to Orange, but may have done if the result was different). So I call back the number I'd just called, followed the prompts for disconnecting and it then told me I needed to call the first number, stupid system, I called the original number and got through to a guy called Carl.

He asked me how he could help, I said "I'd like a PAC number please.". He took all the same annoying details I'd just had to give Vicky and then asked me why I wanted to cancel my contract, so I told him straight out "I want to upgrade to the Nokia 6230 but you want to charge me £100 when I can get it free on another network", he says "Who are you thinking of moving to?" so I told him Orange (surely one of their biggest competitors?), he very quickly says I think there's probably something we can do about the price of that phone. I wasn't sure what to expect next, was he going to offer it me at a discount price and then I'd have to up my threat to leave? He didn't, he just said we can let you have the phone for free.

So there we go, I'm getting a new, free, Nokia 6230 and all I had to do was threaten to leave them! You may ask if it is right to swindle them out of £100 like that but I'd have to ask "Is it right that they try and get away charging £100 for a new phone to existing customers when they offer it free to new customers?", I think not!


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