October 10, 2004

Windows Naval Destroyer Edition

In 2007 the first of a set of six new Naval Destroyers, the type 45 – whose task is to defend against air strikes – will enter service. Ok, given that the MOD aren't so good at hitting deadlines, it might be a few years later that the HMS Daring finally enters service.

It might not be the only thing that it has problems hitting, mind you. For reasons best known only to the MOD - 'keeping costs down by using commercially available solutions where possible' apparently – the combat systems on these destroyers are going to be built atop Microsoft Windows 2000. Let's hope they restrain themselves, or we may find Mr Paperclip playing a key role in the defence of the realm.

If this "works" (which I assume will be determined using some measure involving us not hitting as many of our own people as our American allies seem to) then there are plans to deploy the same combat system on our nuclear submarine fleet. Now that is scary. Frankly, I wouldn't trust them to be able to hit the right country, let alone the right target.

[ from Channel 4 News ; there is an older article with more detail on The Register ]

- 17 comments by 4 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. LOL! That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. Now I know the MOD is a bit strapped for cash – but resorting to Windows!? Man, they are desperate…

    10 Oct 2004, 18:40

  2. Ah yes, I've seen that – a (non-Warwick) friend of mine mentioned it on his (also non-Warwick) blog (link). The idea of a submarine blue-screening at a critical moment doesn't inspire much confidence…

    10 Oct 2004, 18:46

  3. Mathew Mannion

    How many times have you seen Win2K bluescreen for a non-hardware fault, though? :)

    10 Oct 2004, 18:54

  4. I particularly like the term "Windows for Warships

    10 Oct 2004, 19:03

  5. Robert O'Toole

    I once spent a week sitting next to a very scarey man at Oracle in California. He was responsible for deploying distance learning training courses on US Navy ships all around the world. Topics covered included cruise missile guidance systems, bio-chemical attack scenarios, and defending against terrorist insurgency. If the courses are of as low standard as most distance learning materials, it should give us even more to worry about.

    10 Oct 2004, 19:15

  6. It looks like you are shooting a cannon.

    Would you like help?

    I suppose its all a part of Mr Gates' ultimate plan for world conquest…

    10 Oct 2004, 19:17

  7. I suppose it would bring new meaning to the term 'fatal error'

    10 Oct 2004, 19:22

  8. Guffaw!

    Has anyone ever seen the brilliant clip of Bill Gates premiering Windows 2000 live on a worldwide webcast? It crashed…

    11 Oct 2004, 05:10

  9. 'Microsoft Nuke has encountered a critical error and has to close. If this problem recurrs, please contact your program vendor.' And that bloody paperclip, maybe that could be there to inspire fighting instinct as I've never met anyone who doesn't want to kill the paperclip.

    11 Oct 2004, 21:50

  10. Stuart Coles

    Heh heh… the phrase "Blue Screen Of Death" can have more than one meaning now!

    12 Oct 2004, 08:50

  11. They better remember to download updates and service packs.

    12 Oct 2004, 12:46

  12. Stuart Coles

    Naval Destroyer + XP SP2 = Not a good thought.

    12 Oct 2004, 22:47

  13. LMAO

    Why windows? :( Why oh WHY?

    Suddenly I feel a lot less safe… especially after that incident recently with that former English sub now in the hands of the Canadians. If that sub is indicative of the rest of the fleet, then we've 'ad it. :P

    12 Oct 2004, 23:18

  14. Are you sure you want to nuke this country?

    Ok Cancel

    "Uh Lieutenant, which one means yes?

    13 Oct 2004, 01:02

  15. If they're stupid enough to use windows just think what the results would be if they actually tried to build an operating system from scratch…

    14 Oct 2004, 00:14

  16. As I can't get links or pictures to come up in comments…


    14 Oct 2004, 14:30

  17. JOn bates

    A few years ago, I went on a jolly on HMS Chatham, (a type-22 friggate i am reliably informed). I was told buy a guy pretty high up(one under captain – think his name was andy) that the ships denfence systems runs on windows95 :D

    30 Nov 2004, 21:15

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