April 28, 2009

Racist Milk Ad

This is an advertisment for Cravendale Milk made by the company Brand Republic.


1. A Fresian (black and white coloured) bull appears in a milk bar.

2. An entirely white cow presses a button marked ‘Purity Control Room’.

3. The cow is made entirely white.

4. The now-white cow is loved by the always-white cow.

Clap, clap, clap.

October 23, 2008

Punksoc – No Logo night at The Jug and Jester, 30 October

Writing about web page http://www.myspace.com/thebandoftheeye

No Logo

Punksoc is putting a night of music on at The Jug and Jester on Thursday, 30 October.

The bands are as follows, in order of decreasing handsomeness:

us, The Band of the Eye
Montana www.myspace.com/montana
Eighth Day Descent www.myspace.com/eighthdaydescent
and The Inside Story www.myspace.com/theinsidestoryband

Doors 8.30, £2 Punksoc members, a shiny pound more non-members.

This kind of lark:

September 29, 2008

'The sun rises on a new dawn'

2 out of 5 stars

Once upon a time, before he made very bad movies, M. Night Shyamalan made very good movies.

One of these, called Unbreakable(2000), succeeded excellently because it was built on a solid premise. Shyamalan was well-versed in tales of superheroes. Having read many graphic novels and watched countless films, he realised that the common element that he found most engaging was the rite-of-passage of a character discovering his/her supernatural ability; he undergoes extraordinary experiences, but is a sympathetic figure because he remains identifiably human. Shyamalan decided to make this aspect of superhero myth the focus of his film, eschewing the usual main course of superhero narrative – the cosmic battle between demi-god hero and villain – and portrayed a man coming to terms with his powers at length. It worked well, and I think series 1 of Heroes worked well, at times, for the same reason. And in the successes of Unbreakable and the first series of Heroes, we have hints as to why the second instalment of Heroes is so bad.

What do you do when your superheroes have graduated from their Universities of Superhero Life, when they have bypassed the stage of self-discovery? To me there seem to be three possible directions. The first I call The Eternal Struggle, in which the developed hero is pitted against an endless gallery of worthy foes. The second option is to explore the aspects of the hero that remain human; our Superman needs a Lois Lane. The third avenue is to introduce new characters and start again. Heroes pursues each of these option in series 2, but, faced with the question ‘what next?’ it seems to come up with a wrong answer every time.

To start with, two observations:

1). Series two of Heroes begins with the line, ‘the sun rises on a new dawn.’

2). The person responsible for this felt entitled to join in a script-writers’ strike for higher wages.

This marvellously awful narration signals the standard of dialogue in an impending storyline that exemplifies all that induces sorrow in Heroes s2.

We find ourselves in oIreland.

This is not a typo.

Somewhere in Cork we encounter a family whose members speak with inexplicably different Irish accents that, if containing no regional similarity, share a common heritage of Irish Stereotype. T’be shore, t’be shore, t’isn’t it one o’ them he-roes? A pint o’ Guinness for me Hero friend in the name of Pete. We have arrived in Cork, via an act of Contrivance, in the company of Peter Petrelli, who – brace yourself – has amnesia! The amnesia storyline (such a hackneyed vehicle in drama that it is derided gleefully in Futurama to the tune of every character in the soap opera having amnesia) allows the series to tread water as Peter rediscovers what we already know, meets an oIrish slip of a girl he wants to poke, and weighs up whether a future global holocaust might not actually be preferable to an entire series of this nonsense.

Meanwhile, all your favourite characters are ticking over. Horsey Woman is on anti-hero meds. Annoying Cop is playing house with little girl. Dr Mohinder, the Asian Jose Mourinho, fancies a spot of infiltration, which does jolt a bit of excitement into this twitching corpse. Cheerleader is told by daddy that she can’t cheerlead, until the show’s producers realise it is perilous for viewing statistics not to have her bouncing around in a cheerleader’s outfit. Also, she is told she cannot date and ends up doing so! It’s teenage rebellion, my friends. But it is badly executed, and if there’s a fantastic element to her realtionship with drippy fellow-hero boyfriend, it remains mostly the kind of teen dross I spend my life trying to avoid. The couple of new characters retread old ground covered by special effects. Most times they’re all wondering what to do with themselves while the main villain has lost his powers, an inconvenience to him which also removes the risk of the series having much tension. On it plods through a not-so-mystifying series of murders and confrontations, ending with a visual quote from X-Men that hints we might be back to square 1 in series 3.

The sliver of entertainment that earns this series its two stars is delivered by the cuddly Japanese bear named Hiro. I’d like to tickle him. Hiro travels in time to feudal Japan. What larks he has in the company if a legendary Japanese hero, who turns out to be a white man carrying a much-needed Threat of Villainy. The backdrops are stunning, the storyline has more going for it than any of the others, and Hiro gets some well-deserved booty for a change.

July 29, 2008

song on Leaping Cat compilation

Our song ‘Dress-Down Day’ has been included on the new Panther compilation released by Leaping Cat Records.

The CD includes 18 songs by up-and-coming artists in various genres and is available from Leaping Cat’s website.

leaping cat

July 20, 2008

online store

Writing about web page http://www.thebizmo.com/thebandoftheeye

goth shirt
eye hoody

We now have an online store selling music and clothing. There is some free content in the form of downloads which we will try to keep updated.

Using the Bizmo store means more styles and sizes will be available than we could provide if we handled manufacturing orders and distribution ourselves.

The down side is that the percentage of each sale reaching us is quite small. If we get a tour together we’ll probably sell stuff directly.

eye sports

July 04, 2008

Fuse article

Writing about web page http://www.myspace.com/thebandoftheeye

Here is an article about me. And my band. Click on the thumbnails to see an almost-readable size.


June 30, 2008


The latest visitor in the procession of wildlife that is our apartment was a dazed-looking pigeon that became stuck in our blocked-up chimney.

1. Flapping sounds are heard from the vicinity of the chimney. Suspicions are heightened as soot and debris begins tumbling down into the fireplace.

2. I call the RSPCA and am perplexed by the number of options on the answering service. If you are calling about a duck, press 4, a mannered voice intones.

3. In time I get a real person on the phone and I report that ‘there seems to be some distressed bird in our chimney’. I use the word ‘distressed’ so that she will take me seriously. I am instructed to dismantle the blockage.

4. Bits of wood and 20-year old newspapers are removed in a cloud of dust to reveal a fazed but healthy pigeon sitting atop the remaining planks of wood.

5. To encourage the pigeon to escape through the space of the blockage that we have cleared, Claire attempts to coax it out with bread, then pokes it with an umbrella, to no effect.

6. We argue over who gets to seize the pigeon. I hold the torch as Claire pounces.

7. Pigeon seized. Soot, feathers everywhere. Claire carries the pigeon to the open window. Slight anti-climax as, instead of fluttering off to redemption, the pigeon falls with a thud into the courtyard below.

I captured some of this debacle on my phone. You can hear the sound of pigeon contacting ground:

May 16, 2008

"Dress–Down Day" single released

My band’s first single was released today by indie label Shifty Disco, namely ‘Dress-Down Day’ by The Band of the Eye.

It’s available here.

April 29, 2008

Warwick Sells Top Academic

A professor in Warwick’s Chemistry department was shocked to learn today that the University has sold him to Real Madrid for £16m. Francis Draper, 52, was instructed to vacate his office this morning following Warwick’s agreement with the Spanish footballing giant. A distraught Draper confessed that he was ‘Shocked… I’ve never played a game of football in my life.’ Peter Kenyon, the University of Warwick’s new Head of Development and Planning, retorted that Draper’s reaction was ‘unprogressive’ in a press conference held this afternoon: ‘We’re trying to take this University forward. Anyone can see that the sale of Draper is essential to a scheme of widening particiation.’

Despite Draper’s protests that he has ‘a wife and kids in Sydenham, and a bad back’, Real Madrid’s coach, Bernd Schuster, expects him to report for training with Los Blancos fully fit on Thursday morning. ‘He may not be a galactico’, Schuster commented, ‘but Francis obtained his professorship at a very young age and I feel he will add depth to our squad.’

April 24, 2008

Shifty Disco to release 'Dress–Down Day' single

Writing about web page http://www.myspace.com/thebandoftheeye

We’re pleased to announce that our rock barrage ‘Dress-Down Day’ will be released as a single by UK indie-label Shifty Disco on Friday, 16 May at midday. The song will be available for download from Shifty Disco’s website.

With releases by Seagull Strange, The Young Knives, Paperlung and others, Shifty Disco is an excellent label and we’re excited about working with them.

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