All 2 entries tagged Children In Need

Pudsey's crying on the inside

Children in Need: Great cause. Appalling television.

It really is cringeworthy. It has the feeling of a show that hasn’t budged an inch in twenty years. From dancing newsreaders (I feel sick just remembering it) to D-list soap stars singing worse than Daniel off of the X Factor, it’s a constant stream of bilge.

One of the better segments – Childrens’ Masterchef – was so rushed you didn’t have time to remember who was cooking what or even who the contestants were. But of course there was time afterwards for Terry Wogan (please put him out of his misery) to patronise the children and the two judges.

The Strictly Come Dancing segment was twenty minutes of ‘so what?’ and the only real highlight – Doctor Who was over so quickly you missed it when you blinked. Merlin was unspeakably bad.

I’m not a cold-hearted old sod – the actual charity bits inbetween were as moving as ever and were far more likely to get people to pick up the phone than celebrities defecating all over their careers.

Next year, can we not have some real entertainment? Does it even need to be a studio show? And for goodness sake scrap the local segments – I don’t think anyone cares what nonsense is going on in the ‘local’ (i.e. thirty miles away) shopping centre.

: 15 Nov 2008 10:44 |  Tags: BBC Children In Need Television |  Comments (3) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Children in Need promoting oral sex

I feel like Mary Whitehouse. There I was, eating my breakfast, when the video to Emma Bunton’s cover of Downtown came on the television.

The lights are much brighter there / You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares / So go downtown

These innocent lyrics, first sung by Petula Clark have been ham-fistedly turned into a piece of filth by Emma Bunton’s video.

Wearing a skimpy maid’s outfit, accompanied by some buff men, Ms Bunton’s eyes and fingers head below her midriff everytime she sings the word “Downtown”.

The dirty ho.

Now in the world of music video, this would be unremarkable. We have Beyonce swimming in champagne wearing little more than a pair of knickers. We have Jay-Z and others smacking their ‘bitches’. And we have Ronan Keating, for whom there is no conceivable excuse.

But this is the official song for Children in Need!

I’m not sure what message Children in Need sends out to our kids. But if Emma Bunton’s video is anything to go by, then it’s:

“Go on kids, give oral sex a try!”

: 17 Nov 2006 09:18 |  Tags: Children In Need Emma Bunton Music |  Comments (27) |  Close comments |  Report a problem