November 27, 2006

The White Van Man

What is it about people – it seems to be mostly men – when they get behind the wheel of a white van?

It seems only to occur when it’s a van and when it’s white. Yet there seems to be no logical reason for this phenomenon. They bear down on cars in front, they flash their lights at people, they never do any favours to other vehicles, and they generally hog the fast lane on the motorway.

It doesn’t seem to matter whether they are a white van man or just someone who’s hired the van. They’re still evil…

So how about some punitive measures? We could do something obvious, like tax them, or we could just launch a campaign to write nasty things about them in the dirty exterior of their bastard wagon. Here’s some suggestions:

Drive Carefully! Paedophile on Board!
WIDE LOAD (and that’s just the driver)
I read the Daily Mail
Chelsea FC
I’m a Racist, Sexist, Homophobe


- 4 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Surely most of them read the Sun rather than the Mail.

    27 Nov 2006, 18:25

  2. Nick Howes

    They bear down on cars in front, they flash their lights at people, they never do any favours to other vehicles, and they generally hog the fast lane on the motorway.

    This sounds like most people in a large BMW.

    27 Nov 2006, 18:56

  3. At least BMW drivers have the decency to bugger off by undertaking you.

    27 Nov 2006, 19:13

  4. me

    How about
    “If you can read this, you’re about twice as far away as I am to the car in front”.

    Tailgating isn’t specific to any kind of vehicle, there are far too many people out there who just don’t have a clue about how far away they should be. I often wonder whether the possible damage done to the gearbox by slipping suddenly into first gear when driving at 40 (and the possible injury to myself) would be worth it to see the reaction of the driver behind as they realise they’re about to hit me (break lights give them too much of a chance…). They need to be educated. Remember children, “only a fool breaks the 2 second rule”.

    28 Nov 2006, 00:08


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