It ain't over till the fat darts player sings!
It was a televisual Easter Sunday. It made Martin Luther King look like Mickey Mouse. It was the dawn of a new era for man. They’ll be re-writing the bible for this.
Yes, that’s right. It was that big. The fat, beer-swilling Martin Adams beat the fat, beer-swilling Phil Nixon in the biggest sporting event since the 1966 World Cup, the Lakeside World Darts Championships.
The hyperbole was so thick I thought I was going to drown. The tension was so stark that the players’ wives looked set to divorce them at any minute. The commentators were so cliched I thought Jim Bowen, Steve Irwin and Bob Monkhouse would all, implausibly, appear on screen.
Adams was 6 frames to 0 ahead when Nixon took the next six frames himself! It all came down to the thirteenth, decisive frame.
The United Nations stopped work to watch this climax of Earth’s existence. And then… ADAMS TOOK IT!!!!
I’ve never seen the allure of darts. But the coverage on BBC Two was so hilarious, so over-the-top, so utterly daft, it was essential viewing. Tonight’s spectacle was so immense it’ll surely be retold for generations to come.