January 03, 2007

I'm Desperate

I blog, or I watch Desperate Housewives. It’s a tough choice.

Just as this time of year is a sparse one for TV, it’s not great for political gossip either.

But with the Baftas and Oscars only a few months away, I can indulge another passion: films…

  1. Smokin’ Aces is out on January 12th and looks pretty cool from the trailer. Yes it’s got Ben Affleck in, but he’s made some good films hasn’t he? True, Good Will Hunting is the only one that springs to mind, but I reckon it’ll be OK. Not an Oscar hopeful though, but mindless fun.
  2. The Pursuit of Happyness and Blood Diamond are both out soon. Very different films, both very likely to win Oscars.
  3. Chris Cooper. Ryan Phillipe. Dennis Haysbert. Laura Linney. I smell a hit. Breach sees “aspiring FBI agent Eric O’Neill (Phillippe) handpicked by a senior agent (Cooper) to work alongside him, only to discover his mentor might be the country’s greatest security risk.” Ohhhhhhh yes.
  4. Sunshine sounds awful. “A team of eight astronauts is sent to re-ignite a part of the dying sun. Seven years ago, another crew was dispatched on the same mission, but they were never heard from again.” But… it’s directed by Danny “28 Days Later” Boyle and stars Cillian “28 Days Later” Murphy. Oh, and it’s written by Alex “28 Days Later” Garland. I’m not gonna promise it’ll be brilliant, but it might be.
  5. The Kingdom should be interesting. Out in April, it stars Jamie Foxx as an FBI agent sent to deal with the aftermath of a terror attack on US interest in the Middle East.
  6. Matthew Macfadyen (he of Spooks fame) gets a proper movie role in Death at a Funeral. There’s plenty of British talent in what appears to be a Hollywood film.
  7. 28 Weeks Later is the sequel to 28 Days Later, yet retains practically none of the cast, writers or director. They’re all doing Sunshine. Guess what? There’s a second outbreak about six months after the first one. Brilliant? I suspect not.
  8. Shrek The Third will keep the kids and adults happy in the Summer. Surely it’ll be brilliant? Ah. What’s that? They’ve cast Justin Timberlake in a lead role? I take that back.
  9. Watch out. The third Pirates of the Caribbean film is out in May. It will surely be as appalling as the second, which was the biggest waste of time I’ve experienced in a cinema.
  10. Oh. My. God. Die Hard 4 is out in the Summer. I have now wet myself.

- 12 comments by 3 or more people Not publicly viewable

[Skip to the latest comment]
  1. I trust you enjoyed the Season 6 Prelude (not trailer) on YouTube? 10 minutes of tension and Toyota advertising, but it should be good, can’t wait.

    04 Jan 2007, 01:35

  2. I thought Pirates 2 was suprisingly good considering how badly everyone was criticising it. The first 45 minutes or so were a bit silly, but the rest was highly enjoyable. I also think Ben Affleck is too harshly criticised, i’ve enjoyed every film i’ve seen with him in.

    04 Jan 2007, 02:20

  3. Chris you’ve clearly not been to the cinema often if you found Pirates 2 to be the biggest waste of time you’ve ever experienced in the cinema.

    Anyone remember Johnny Mnemonic?

    PS PotC: DMC was actually very enjoyable! Bring on Number 3 or at least a new Monkey Island game.

    PPS Speaking of Money Island, I hear they’ve just released a new Broken Sword game (number 4). I would have picked up already but I’m disabled by the fact that I’m in China and that I’m using a shitty laptop. Anyone played it yet?

    04 Jan 2007, 04:24

  4. I haven’t played the first 3 yet, but it’s they’re my list of games-to-play-before-some-arbitrary-point-in-time

    04 Jan 2007, 09:46

  5. Mate… go out and download the first two and buy the third I’d suggest that you buy the first two but for some arse of a reason I think that they’re both incompatible with the XP sound drivers so you have to download an emulator called SCUMM or GRIMM or something to play them. And the third game is simply genius. “I am rubber, you are glue!”

    hums stan’s theme

    04 Jan 2007, 09:54

  6. Three reasons why In Pursuit Of Happyness shouldn’t win an Oscar:

    a) The spelling of happyness [sic] is, quite obviously happiness.? That Americans (in general) are too stupid to know/realise this automagically precludes it from receiving the nod.

    b) The ease of which a porn spoof can be made, with the simplest of puns on the title.

    c) That Smith’s moustache will in all likelihood be an extra/prop in aforementioned porn spoof.

    04 Jan 2007, 11:28

  7. Mathew Mannion

    I thought Dead Man’s Chest was alright, nothing special, but not particularly bad – certainly not the worst film I’ve seen in the past year. However, I also thought Johnny Mnemonic was really enjoyable, so what do I know? :)

    04 Jan 2007, 12:20

  8. Dr Normal

    David Haggart – before we all start to wet ourselves with excitement at one more opportunity to be line-toe-ingly anti-american, i can inform you it is MEANT to be ‘happyness’ because in the film Will Smith sees a piece of graffiti with it misspelt so. Its irony.

    So maybe you arent as clever as you think.

    04 Jan 2007, 12:53

  9. David Haggart – before we all start to wet ourselves with excitement at one more opportunity to be line-toe-ingly anti-american, i can inform you it is MEANT to be ‘happyness’ because in the film Will Smith sees a piece of graffiti with it misspelt so. Its irony. So maybe you arent as clever as you think.

    Dr Normal (if that is your real name) – forgive me for expressing an opinion, attempting a little “humour” and eschewing the opportunity to completely flame the opinions of those that have already commented whilst not expressing one myself.

    Furthermore, forgive me for not having read the book (the cover of which makes the deliberate misspelling far more obvious) or seen the part of the movie (which isn’t out yet) where this is explained, or even read the IMDB FAQ on it.

    I’m afraid I’m not line-toe-ingly anti-american as you assert. However there are various stereotypes that are usually applied to America and Americans, one of which is their “simplification” of various words (colour, centre, flavour etc) in e.g. Webster’s dictionary, which I attempted to use for the sake of a little humour.

    04 Jan 2007, 14:03

  10. Mr Abnormal

    Being nice to Americans is Political Correctness gone mad

    04 Jan 2007, 14:13

  11. Nick Howes

    go out and download the first two

    Yes definitely, and the free program SCUMMVM will let you play them in Windows without having to hassle about with compatibility options.

    04 Jan 2007, 17:24

  12. Nick Howes

    You should of course buy them, that was implied.

    04 Jan 2007, 17:24


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