January 12, 2007

Goodbye Preston, and Good Riddance!

Preston This gormless individual (right) is Samuel Preston, lead singer of The Ordinary Boys (apt name). He went on Celebrity Big Brother last year, demonstrated a complete lack of personality and started bonking fellow contestant, Chantelle Houghton, who wasn’t actually a celebrity at all (much like Preston).

Since then he’s released a number of pisspoor records, culminating in the abysmal “I Luv U” which challenges Mr Blobby in the musical talent stakes.

Mr Talent was in the news this week for walking off a recording of Never Mind The Buzzcocks after host Simon Amstell started reading from his wife’s autobiography. In it she details just how exciting her life has been. I’ve not read it, but I’m sure it’s great for insomnia.

In an ironic twist, Mr Talent has branded Amstell a “snotty little posh boy”, which is hilarious simply because Preston lives in a large country pile, far removed from his faux-Cockney roots. He’s a direct descendant of Earl Grey (of the tea). He is also rather snotty.

He said Amstell’s career had plummeted since he presented Popworld. Patently untrue. Never Mind The Buzzcocks is a much bigger gig.

Preston, I hope that when you left the studio, you left television behind forever. You won’t be missed. And nor will your stupid wife.


- 46 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

[Skip to the latest comment]
  1. Allan Smith

    Although Amstell may have put a slant on it, all he really did was read an excerpt from the book Chantelle ‘wrote’ – word for word.

    Maybe he could have helped her learn to proofread during his break from skanking up and down the street and being a legitimate geezer, oh yes.

    At least wait until filming has ended before storming off, like Lemmy. Or sit there crying like Gail Porter…

    12 Jan 2007, 14:28

  2. Laura Bolger

    Well you’re nice. Did you come up with that all by yourself then or some clever person help with the big words? Preston actually lives in Brighton with his wife which isn’t exactly the country. Last time I checked it was good thing to stick up for your OH. You’re probaly just bitter and jealous.

    12 Jan 2007, 20:17

  3. aurora

    Hmmmmm how very satirical of you…

    Did it take you long to cook this ‘gem’ of a blog up? Did your mummy help? bless…

    Preston stuck up for his wife. Big Deal. Simon Amstell is a knob. Fact.

    12 Jan 2007, 20:18

  4. Jealous. Oh yes.

    12 Jan 2007, 20:38

  5. aurora

    Jealous? of what? your superior writing skills? your scathing wit? do me a favour! LOL

    Is Simon your ‘special’ friend?

    12 Jan 2007, 21:06

  6. me

    Do the Preston fans (go lilywhites!) commenting here also like a certain Mr Callaghan

    13 Jan 2007, 00:02

  7. I’d say there’s a fair chance. I think my post on keeping kids in school for longer might be appropriate to them. I can’t read their comments without hearing Vicky Pollard’s voice.

    13 Jan 2007, 00:13

  8. Joyce

    I’d say there’s a fair chance. I think my post on keeping kids in school for longer might be appropriate to them. I can’t read their comments without hearing Vicky Pollard’s voice.

    Before I say anything thing I am not a school kid I am a middle age mum of 3. I think it was commendable what Preston did If I was getting insulted in a television programme in front of so many thousand viewers I would hope my husband would do exactly the same thing as Preston did for Chantelle. Simon was trying to make Chantelle look stupid and no man would let someone insult his wife like that. I am sure if he was saying stuff about Preston he would have laughed it off but there was no call to bring Chantelle into it she wasn’t there to defend herself so Preston did it for her. I say good on you Preston you deserve a round of applause.

    13 Jan 2007, 00:44

  9. Chris

    Your an idiot for saying all this stuff. Do you even know his ‘stupid wife’. Ok so you’ve seen her on telly. Lack of personality? I’m sure your the next Pete Burns :l

    13 Jan 2007, 00:56

  10. mickeymouse

    Mate, you might want to look at www.ordinary-kandyfloss.com

    Preston & Chantelle have many fans…..

    13 Jan 2007, 09:07

  11. ambersands

    Insulting people does not make you intelligent Mr Doidge.

    13 Jan 2007, 13:33

  12. When did I say I was trying to look intelligent?

    13 Jan 2007, 13:39

  13. Hehe. This is hilarious.

    13 Jan 2007, 20:56

  14. Gah the grammatical errors will make my head explode. Agree with Richard-bring on the next Tabby!!

    13 Jan 2007, 22:00

  15. Alex K

    Joyce:
    I think it was commendable what Preston did If I was getting insulted in a television programme in front of so many thousand viewers I would hope my husband would do exactly the same thing as Preston did for Chantelle.

    What, get up and walk out, thus potentially leaving the host to continue saying whatever he damn well pleased about you? Very chivalrous, I don’t think.

    Simon was trying to make Chantelle look stupid and no man would let someone insult his wife like that.

    Except that he did let someone insult his wife like that! Preston walked out. He didn’t say or do anything to defend his wife’s honour, he just left the show. You want to guess why? I do; because he’s not intelligent or witty enough to be able to respond to that kind of banter.

    (And by the way, there’s an argument to be made that Amstell didn’t have to try to make Chantelle look stupid; she’s done a very good job of that herself, in fact using her acknowledged stupidity to get more headlines and public attention – a tactic employed by more than one reality-TV-produced “celebrity” prior to herself.)

    [...] there was no call to bring Chantelle into it she wasn’t there to defend herself [...]

    Unfortunately that’s not how being a celebrity works, and if you don’t understand that then you’re extremely naive. Preston and Chantelle have flaunted their “celebrity” status and used it to their advantage on many occasions – do you really think they didn’t know that that would come back to haunt them at some point?

    Frankly, Preston’s a worthless little crybaby and if he didn’t realise what he was going into by agreeing to appear on a show like “Never Mind The Buzzcocks” then he ought to just grow up.

    And probably hire himself a new agent.

    14 Jan 2007, 12:24

  16. turze

    i got to agree with “richard” wallace, the beating you’re taking over this doidge, is quite frankly, hilarious.

    15 Jan 2007, 15:10

  17. According to someone I know who was at the filming Preston was being arsey about jokes directed at him for the whole time before he stormed out. Fair enough, stand up for your wife, but to go on a show which takes the piss out of most guests and be arsey about having the piss taken? No, that is the sign of a sense of humour bypass…

    15 Jan 2007, 19:05

  18. Jimmy

    Ooooh you big snob!

    15 Jan 2007, 21:51

  19. anonymous

    I really don’t understand why everyone is so obsessed with celebrity, I don’t even know who this person is.

    16 Jan 2007, 07:34

  20. Peter S

    Anyone who goes on a satirical music quiz and can’t cope with being mocked (or having their wife mocked) needs to look for a new agent.

    16 Jan 2007, 23:16

  21. Ben

    What a prat you are! You must have nothing else to do in ur sad little life.

    PRESTON IS THE BEST. FACT.

    27 Jan 2007, 16:41

  22. anonymous

    people like you really piss me off, your not a successful journalist that has any talent so this silly little website is the best you can do to bitch about people that have made something of their carreers and are alot more successful than you will ever wish to be.

    07 Feb 2007, 23:13

  23. Whereas you are anonymous…

    Congratulations.

    07 Feb 2007, 23:25

  24. Jeremy

    “people like you really piss me off, your not a successful journalist that has any talent so this silly little website is the best you can do to bitch about people that have made something of their carreers and are alot more successful than you will ever wish to be.”

    The whole point of a blog is that the anyone, trained journalist or not, can write about pretty much anything they want to. If you don’t like it, ignore it.

    08 Feb 2007, 12:39

  25. Jack W

    Christopher Doidge is gay

    08 Feb 2007, 16:05

  26. Mature.

    08 Feb 2007, 16:49

  27. Praguetory

    I’d take most of the above as a back-handed compliment.

    08 Feb 2007, 17:00

  28. Colige

    I think its real funny. Preston, going on that show, would have known simon loves to take the piss out of his guests….just look when he ripped donny tourette to shit the other night, but did donny storm off? no course not. preston just couldnt take a joke i guess.

    09 Feb 2007, 04:09

  29. Colige

    haha and the amount of people on this saying “get a life” and then putting “preston is the best”
    haha thats just pure contradiction
    get on Christopher doidge, good blog mate

    09 Feb 2007, 04:14

  30. Steve

    “I think it was commendable what Preston did If I was getting insulted in a television programme in front of so many thousand viewers I would hope my husband would do exactly the same thing as Preston did for Chantelle.”

    What walking off? More of a cowardly if anything.

    Sorry, you are entering a show that branded for its satire way, for a host who likes to mock the guests. If you go there expecting something else, you are in for a rough ride. Ignorance isn’t an excuse! Don’t mind it one.

    If you wanted to gain some honor points then stay there and take it, Donny from Towers of London got absolutely hammered did he walk off in a fit of rage saying afterwards “Ohh if this was elsewhere i’d have hit him!”? No he didn’t.

    Preston made himself look more like a pansy and coward by walking off, its a joke nothing more nothing less. He made a mountain out of a mole hill.

    He had the choice to go there, he went there. He must of known about the way the show works. If he didn’t nothing but his own fault for NOT finding out. Don’t blame Simon for doing his job. Nevermind the Buzzcocks was always this satire from when Mark Lamarr (sp?).

    Finally:

    “people like you really piss me off, your not a successful journalist that has any talent so this silly little website is the best you can do to bitch about people that have made something of their carreers and are alot more successful than you will ever wish to be.”

    Seriously what the hell is your problem? Did the user comment on him trying to be a journalist? This silly website you just happen to be at least spend 5 mins reading and reply. If its so silly, why waste the time?

    Also if it wasn’t for Big Brother, a one quick stop to “LIVING THE DREAM” they wouldn’t have had a career. Am i jealous? Not a chance, i got my health, i got my family and loved ones, i work for my dreams but planting my feet on the ground in the real world. Do i think i’m special? Not at all, just your average joe and darn proud of it.

    09 Feb 2007, 15:26

  31. From Holy Moly:

    Stop the clocks! Could it be that the fairytale romance of the century is over? Anvil-faced Ordinary Boys front-cock Preston has been photographed with his ex, and it appears that they are still very much in contact. His management realised that such pictures could lead some to believe that his marriage is a sham and purely a means for a talentless nobody (and Chantelle) to make a bit of dosh while the going is good. The management put their heads together and hatched a Machiavellian plot. “Right Preston, you’re on that ‘Never Mind The Buzzcocks’ tonight. It might just happen that they have a go at Chantelle or something. If they do, have a strop to show how much she means to you. That’ll fool the world!” Several hours later, Preston ‘storms’ off the set after a light-hearted jibe about his wife. Hardly Heathcliffe, is he?

    10 Feb 2007, 14:49

  32. Laura

    Why are you so negative about Preston all the time?

    10 Feb 2007, 23:25

  33. Aaaaargh!!!!!

    People, people,

    You’re = you are

    Your = your possessive.

    grammatical incompetency chunter chunter..

    11 Feb 2007, 00:01

  34. Gary Williams

    3 isn’t middle aged and is much too young to be a mother. I think you are lying about your age Joyce!!!!!

    14 Feb 2007, 14:43

  35. Jess

    Wow you copied that from Holy Moly, that must mean its true. If these people are ‘nobodies’ and so unimportant to you, why are you dedicating your time to writing about them on your blogging site? No-one wants to hear horrible things about the person they love, so maybe he thought the best thing to do was to remove himself from the situation, so he didn’t have to listen to it anymore. He probably did make a big mistake in deciding to go on a show such as Never Mind the Buzzcocks with a reputation for belittling its contestants (don’t misread this, I do like the show), and should have anticipated that this might have happened, but I don’t think you can criticise someone for what they do in the heat of the moment. At the end of the day Simon’s lines are written for him by someone else, and Preston would have done himself no favours by lowering himslef to that level and throwing insults back. And you tell people that if they don’t like what you have written, then don’t read it: here’s a tip, if you don’t like Chantelle and Preston…DON’T WRITE ABOUT THEM, then you won’t look so stupid.

    14 Feb 2007, 22:56

  36. chris's parents look like mud wrestlers

    Hey Chris you ugly dark skank. If someone you loved was mocked then you would twat the twat, right?

    I dont think Preston went far enough. He should have tried to pooh in his pants, sneakily grab a handful when no one was looking, and then smeared it over that curly topped wanker whilst knocking his teeth out at the same time.

    14 Feb 2007, 23:06

  37. Allan Smith

    There’s no way he could have secretly set up a scat attack with that glittery thing he had on.

    15 Feb 2007, 12:50

  38. Mark K

    wow comment 36 is fun to read.
    Basically anybody going on to this show should know after as many series as it has been on that they are going to be mocked in some shape or form. Most people can stick it, apparently Preston couldn’t. Simon bringing his wife in to it could be called ‘low’, however all he did was read her book which for one, probably wasn’t even written by her in the first place. The man needs a sense of humour or a better agent who would tell him not to go on to these types of show.

    15 Feb 2007, 12:58

  39. Allan Smith

    I was sceptical about the whole ‘PR stunt’ thing, but he looked as though he was ready to walk even as he was being introduced.

    There’s no way he’d throw a strop at a throwaway gag about his band not having many fans without either waiting for an excuse to flounce off, or having never heard of the 11-year old music show in his life.

    15 Feb 2007, 13:46

  40. tom

    it would have been interesting to see how Preston would of reacted to mark lamarr ripping into him (and his wife)

    also the guy they got out of the audience to stand in for Preston was way better

    15 Feb 2007, 15:06

  41. Alastair Brown

    As Allan Smith says above, This show has been on air now for 11 years and is well known for it’s satirical treatment of the music scene. It is not just a music quiz, it is a comedy music quiz for the sake of entertainment. As I watched the show last night, I couldn’t help thinking “Why have they got such a po-faced, boring, non-personality as Preston on there in the first place?”

    He didn’t smile once all the time he was there and basically deserved everything he got (and more) from Simon Amstell and co.

    I hope Chris Doidge gets his wish and this really is the last time we see Preston!

    15 Feb 2007, 17:35

  42. Oli

    If Preston can’t take a laugh he should f**k off. Simon did nothing wrong

    15 Feb 2007, 19:26

  43. Laura

    I agree with what Preston did 100%

    16 Feb 2007, 11:40

  44. Anon

    Good blog. Preston is a moron. How can he preach about principles when his wife was posing naked by a roadside in a desperate bid for fame. And in the end only became famous for being a thick fake blond (being dumb isn’t funny ladies – give yourselves some credit) and stealing someone elses boyfriend. How can Preston preach about principles after letting that bleached parasite drape herself all over him knowing his poor classy pretty girlfriend Camille was watching at home.
    All those supporting Chantelle and Preston are the sad society of today. If Preston really wanted to honour his wife he wouldn’t have sold his wedding to OK (classy principles there Preston) and he would bow out of the limelight after the probible hurt he caused Camille in this whole ridiculous charade.
    This is Chris’s blog so anyone on here slating him is almost as pathetic as the gruesome twosome “we hate celebrity but really love it more than anything” C&P. If you didn’t like what you read then you simply click back. But being fans of Chantelle and Preston I guess those instructions would be quite mind boggling for you.

    16 Feb 2007, 22:35

  45. bag_guy@hotmail.com

    im really not sure that i understand how people can find it possible to like preston and chantelle. prestons music is terrible and chantelle is either really stupid or just pretending to be that stupid which doesnt say much for her, and whats this i read (a comment abouve) about preston and chantell selling their wedding to ok magazine- how low can people stoop i mean they must have a bit of money what with all the interveiws theyve done and preston ( supposedly) selling a few cds y do they feel the need to wash their dirty linen in public, i sure as hell dont want to see it. Simon Amstell is amazing and i admire him so much , but is it just me or does he look like he is permenantly ill the whole time, he has a sort of greenish white complexion but i think that it looks quite good on him. I think he wasnt reaching out to the best of his ability when he was on popworld ( popworld is completely unwatchable now hes gone) and we are seeing it all now. people might say i obviously have a lot of time on your hands if your taking the trouble to write this- my response: whats your point? Im freezing cold and felt the need to commend Simon Amstell somewhere- Anywhere for hilariousnes and his veiws on everything.

    21 Mar 2007, 19:53

  46. jonathan

    hasn’t it been more than a month since this episode aired and we are still mucking about preston this preston that? bloody hell, give it break already. these types of arguments makes me want to move out of the country. now i know that future of the world truly depends on preston and his actions. god save the preston.

    29 Mar 2007, 08:29


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