All entries for Sunday 16 January 2005

January 16, 2005

Tales from the Scarred Lands 5

Well, I told you I'd do it, and I almost did it!

Today I went out of the city gates and set about trying to find some adventurers who weren't too inebriated to give me a good tale, and I found some! Unfourtunately not the renowned travellers I was looking for, perhaps they have become fat with mead over the winter...I can't say without seeing them!

Bizarrely I found a group of only three adventurers, more than a little green as they were backing away from a group of stupid goblins instead of just hacking their jabbering heads off! I used the old, "Shall I blow my whistle nice and loud so the King's Patrol can hear?" trick, which was even better as there weren't any Patrol Guards for miles!

The party consisted of Sarkey the Mage, who probably wouldn't shut up if he got infected and became a mindless eating machine! I bet he'd still ramble on, but he was brightly dressed, armed with a frying-pan and muttering about "comfortable, absorbant Wings", fancying himself some sort of feary, perfect mad Mage material! He also told me a charming verse about a man defeating a vampire, only to have his lover marry his brother! Marvellous. I could make a Bard out of him yet!

He was joined by the more subdued Amber, a female priest I think but I couldn't make out of what faith. By her simple brown attire I'd hazard a guess at The Fias and hope she won't be offended! She seemed to have most of the common sense. There was also a well-armoured chap, who said even less, not even his name I fear, but he had two swords, so I would venture him destined for success as well!

Apparently, the strange illness has caught the attention of the Royal physicians, who obviously don't want the weirdness inside the city walls, and want to know what's causing it. But No-one knows! No cause, no cure, only symptoms resulting so far in a lot of people becoming very ugly and eating the nearest friend or family member until they are slain. It's all a bit depressing, really!

So, I shall give you a few verses of my new goblin song to cheer you up!"

Goblins are green, and goblins are mean
_They are the thickest creatures I've ever seen_

_If you put two planks, together end-to-end,_
they wouldn't be as thick as a goblin, my friend!

As I went walking just the other day
_A little greenie Goblin he got right in my way_
_I said "look over there!", all he could do was stare,_
And I was swiftly on my way again!

The adventure contues, who will live to see it end?

Arklyn Lynks, Bard

Attention seeking

I seem to have noticed lately that people have abandonned commenting on my Blog. I would like to conduct a reader survey (if there are any left!) to discern what can be done to improve this…

Have people stopped commenting because;

a) The content is dull.
b) We thought if we ignored you long enough you'd go away
C) You talk so much all the bloody time we know what's going on in your life anyway, the whole midlands can hear you!
d) No-one comes here anymore
e) Everyone's too busy mesmorised by Dan's awesome hair.

What would you like to see more of on this blog?

a) sandwiches
b) Fraggles
c) ladybirds
d) Pirates
e) I don't care, just stop being so shamelessly self-absorbed and shameless about wanting comments, you vain wench!

Responses to the slightly dusty comments box, please xxx

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