January 05, 2006

Meditations on a Pot–plant

Palm fronds
In the afternoon
Cast shadows like fingers
Reaching for something.
Who knows what the shadows
of plants want?

: 05 Jan 2006 16:45 |  Tags:    |  Comments (1) |  Report a problem

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  1. A lovely image. The crux is in the last two lines, but they are not phrased quite right. "In the afternoon" is superfluous.

    Try making a cinquain? i.e.

    2 .. syllables
    4 …..
    6 …...
    8 ….....
    2 ..

    07 Jan 2006, 12:49

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