All entries for Wednesday 15 November 2006

November 15, 2006

Uphill struggle

So I have no idea what to write about for my Anthony and Cleopatra essay

There are no set essay titles – you have to come up with your own.

I went to see my tutor today, and still have no idea what to write about. I wish she’d just given me some ideas to think about, but instead I had to make all the suggestions. The first thing I mentioned, she completely dismissed as rubbish… I just feel like my best will never be good enough for her. I feel guilty enough as it is for missing the beginning of the seminar so many times because of trying to get back from Liverpool. I don’t feel clever enough to be doing this.

I have to get all my research done by the beginning of the holidays, because I’m going home for Christmas, and will not be able to get to the library.

I can’t find any of the books my tutor suggested I look at in the library. Why is it so SHIT!!!

I’ve been doing so much – trying to keep on top of all ther reasing for all my modules – I didn’t read the Marlowe, ok, but I’ve always read the PoF stories before the seminar, I’ve always done the assignments for PoF, I’m trying to write a novel for my PWP – then re-writing a chapter of the same so it gets to 10 000 words of submittable material, I started my 2000wd story way back in week 1, and have been working on it ever since, so now it’s just about ready to hand in, I’ve read both the novels I have to report on for PoF. I try really hard every week to get back from Liverpool in time for my Shakespeare Special Topics seminar – this means getting up between 5 and 6 in the morning to get a train, which is likely as not delayed, so screwing it all up, then if I’m really pushed for time getting a taxi from the station (between £8-18, depending on if it’s from Cov or Leam.) And I still feel like I’m drowning.

I don’t want to be here anymore.

November 2006

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