November 08, 2006

Bad breath

This is my first post for rather a long time. This is quite simply because there has recently been too little idleness in my life to yield much fruit. However, I have, during these busy times, been thinking much about one thing in particular. People with bad breath. I theorise, with some reason, that people who have bad breath have it only to annoy others. They secretly struggle to contain their evil laughter as people gag at their every exhalation. I know this to be true because they refuse to eat mints.
Being a maths student, I run into a lot of people with bad breath (and also those who are malodourous in general). As such, I sometimes buy a pack of mints for the sole purpose of offering them to people with bad breath whom I can’t avoid spending time with. They always refuse. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to push them with things like “I’m trying to get rid of them”: they just don’t want to know. People without bad breath, on the other hand, are only too happy to allow people to share their polos with them. They, after all, do not derive a sick pleasure from making people choke. Thoughts on this subject anyone?

- 2 comments by 0 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Sue

    I wonder if you yhink you might have an over-developed sense of smell, Ben. My Mum is like that, she can smell something a mile off, she is well known to the gasboard because she is always reporting gas leaks in the street (which other people don’t seem to be able to smell). Over the years she has been a very useful asset to the gasboard and probably prevented a few catastrophies. When I was about twelve I smoked a cigarette (I can’t believe I was that young) with a friend in what we thought was a disused building (it actually turned out to be an officers mess!) We heard someone come through the door so we hid in a cupboard completely forgetting about the cigarette until we realised we were being smoked out and quickly stubbed it out, we were both trying not to choke beacuse we didn’t want to be found out. Anyway, we eventually heard the man leave and we came out of the cupboard and decided to roll down a bank which was outside to get rid of the smell of smoke, the bank was really wet and I remember getting soaked and thought the smell must have gone so we went back to my house (my friend was staying with me) and as soon as we walked in my Mum said “I can smell cigarette smoke!” Nothing got past that woman (actually, it still doesn’t!)

    I hate raw onion, anyway but a good way of freshening your breath is to eat raw parsley which is also very good for you beacuse it cleanses your blood. I love raw parsley, there’s something very sexy about it. Or is that just me?

    13 Sep 2007, 10:20

  2. Sue

    I didn’t mean to put a negative slant on it, what I meant was “Do you think you might have a highly developed sense of smell.”

    13 Sep 2007, 20:19

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