All entries for January 2005

January 30, 2005

Todays New Skill = Tearing Sellotape

There is a piece of staionery that has long been my enemy. It's crafty, never does what you want it to do, and very selfishly only sticks to itself…this is my enemy in question:


Evil skin of the anti-christ/Phil Collins

Yep its sellotape, now i admit to not being the most artistic of people…when something's gotta be stuck up i either use Smurf bogey's (blu-tac) or just not bother at all, but with all this postering that ive doing for the: UNCLE BEN'S NICE campaign ive had to finally face my nemesis (i can't believe im talking about sellotape like this).
How the chuffin hell do people rip it with their teeth i wondered…everytime i tried i just got the roll stuck to my mouth, and none of it came off…
Sooo after a week on a "Tearing Sellotape With Teeth Course" i emerged, tired, a bit sweaty but confident i would be no longer a sellotape ripper virgin.
And after a few nervous fumbles…off came that badboy, a perfectly square bit of tape…and up went another Uncle Bens Nice poster, the 6,004th of that hour i think (hell, it feels like it)

If you have any enemies in the stationery world…let me know, and hopefully we can all unite under a banner (now freshly sellotaped) to conquer our staionery demons…right now ive just got to get my temperamental wall stappler to work.
Catch ya later all, remember as always…check yourself, don't wreck yourself

Uncle Ben's Nice


January 27, 2005

Uncle Ben's Decision

So…time is ticking down for me…no wait that sounds like im about to snuff it…my university education is in its autumn years…and i started thinking:
"You know what, ive had a bloody good time at this uni..."

To which i realised I meant the Union side of stuff...not the University...degree work...schmee work says I!

"...and i'd hope everyone who came to Warwick could have a cracking time too...but how could I make sure that would happen..."

(hmmm, i thought for a while...then for a bit more...then i watched Neighbours...wondered why Karl gets so many big storylines...and then went...)

"I've got it i'll run for Sabb"

Soooooooo ladies and Gentlemen, that's what ive decided to do..run for a Sabb…and the one i'm going for…CDCO

(Hang on…thats not right…thats CD:UK, not CDCO)

So, from Friday look for this berk to turning up at lectures/accommodation/inside your dreams…no wait scrap the last one…trying to get you to vote for Ben Ashmore
…or as the slogan goes

UNCLE BEN'S NICE!!!

And give me the chance to make sure this always happens….

Coming soon….all the policies you could shake a stick at!!

So for now people…as always…check yourself…don't wreck yourself

Ben


January 26, 2005

In The Beginning

Helloooo…anybody…no…dust?
It's a bit quiet in here isnt it…well i think i should finally drag my sorry self into the 21st century kicking and screaming, by doing a blog thingummy.

See I'd set this here badboy up a while back…but never actually got round to doing anything about it…until that is i removed a problem from the equation…my degree!!
Yep im having a Sabbatical from my degree for a while (and that was the first subtle hint of the reason why!) and by doing less than chuff all, i have more free time…so here we are.
I was worried that after leaving my blog empty and unfurnished; i'd get back and find some bunch of miscreants had took over the place, and turned it into a white lightning den. By miscreant, i mean dirty Chav…the evil minions of the antichrist…for those who dont know…here's some:

(Obviously just seen some innocent old lady…who they are kindly going to relieve of her purse)

Who work for the antichrist himself:

(don't look into his eyes folks…thats how he steals your souls!)

So off i begin on this sojourn (i dont know if thats the right word/spelling, i just wanted to use it in conversation)

And look out soon for updates of a certain CAMPAIGN i'm gonna be doing…more of that later.
For now folks…check yourself…don't wreck yourself

Ben Ashmore

(why does it call me Benjamin…i really dont like being called that!!)


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