September 08, 2006

CIA test

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!” The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.”

The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”

The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.”


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  1. The police, the SAS and the Army have a motivation day. The final test they have to do is to catch a rabbit for their dinner from a wood.

    The SAS go first, the men melting into the trees. Ten minutes later, not having made a sound, they return with a rabbit, neatly garroted, gutted and ready to cook.

    The Army are next and charge into the woods, yelling their heads off, bayonets fixed and ready. Smoke appears along with the popping of mortar shells and the sound of small arms rapid fire. After an hour, they come out with the charred remains of what can just be recognised as a rabbit.

    Finally it is the police force’s turn. They march into the wood and for a while nothing is heard. Then, gradually, sounds of radio squelches and snatches of “suspect proceeding in a south westerly direction on foot” can be heard. After a few hours, the police return with a live squirrel, its paws tied together. They brandish their prize to the instructor, saying: “here’s the rabbit!” The squirrel, looking bruised and bloodied, but otherwise unharmed, yells out:”I’m a squirrel!”. The policemen holding it raises his fist… “Alright,” screams the squirrel, “I’m a rabbit!”

    08 Sep 2006, 10:39

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