January 16, 2006

SHAUN OF THE DEAD COMIC BOOK!!

Boundless waves of glee! I'm returning to this here blogging spot after an encouragingly anonymous comment by S (other letters of the alphabet expected to respond shortly) Although i did intened to do this here thang later, my impetuous teenage-style mind said "Hey dude! Let's jump onto the bandwagon now and steal their thunder! Or failing that, some marshmallows" So, what's been going on in my wild and crazy world of deathly boredom since last i spoke to myself…Well, there was Christmas. Nearly perfect, if it hadn't been for the bloody neighbours playing soul tunes too damn loud on Christmas Eve it would've been even better (c'mon guys, you'd been quiet for three weeks! What's one more night going to hurt?!) Thankfully i fell asleep and was therefore minimally troubled by them. Grrrrrr. But that was compensated for with oodles of fun, ranging from a Constantine DVD, to a wind up minipenguin. Wahoo! Yet all this is past. Let us thrust ourselves, spurting happiness into the open maw of present times (yuck). Today, i received my SHAUN OF THE DEAD graphic- novel comic-book paper-vessel-of-love. It's not as funny as the movie, admitted, but that's way off the point. It has actual friggin' artwork! ARTWORK BABY. And cool shading, and deleted scenes, and yarrrrgh how i adore it.
Till i write again later, stay sharp-you never know when a giant may use you as an emergency knife. Tc all, write later, byeeee

October 22, 2005

Posting semi clothed and smashed out of my mind.

WHEEEEEEEEE
I went to crash tonight and it was awesome and there were a lot of fit girls but none oif them were interested in me because i'm a crazed fool (sobs in a hated emo fashion). It's in this state that i tragically think of all the women i would like but would never have, particularly HER, who doesn't know who SHE is, and if i have my way never will. It's none of my mates-love you all as i dearly do-it's someone who coldn't care less about me if they tried.
Goddamn them. DAMN THEM TO LOVING HELL!!
…and to think i went all crazed to try to impress them (sighs). I'm an idiot.
I'm off to go into laughing regret now, to tc all, and post again soon, byeeeeeeee

October 14, 2005

Guinness and Chocolate

WAHEY! I'm a swaggering idiot. Am beggining to suspect that i annoy some of the people in my Modes Of Reading group with my egotistical ways and opinionated ramblings. Meh. Can't please everyone, but if any of 'em is reading, it ain't intentional, all you have to do is shout at me! It's the language i understand.
So, i'm about to have a drinking session. I've already had a pint and a half of Guinness, and am feeling the benefit right now. I promise solemnly not to get too drunk, and that throwing the lit chair out of the window whilst singing Dj Sammy's "Heaven" (or was it boys of summer….) was an isolated incident and will never ever happen again. Scouts honour.
BTW; Chocolate's in the title because i just ate two revels. I am very easily pleased.

Holler later, byeeeeeeee


October 13, 2005

I'm reviewing a DVD, hell damn yeah (collapses) MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS

Writing about web page http://www.empireonline.co.uk (as it does rock)

Kool, so today i'm gonna be getting down with the messy business of reviewing Tony Scott's Man On Fire. It should be noted before i begin that this is a hard-ass movie for people who don't mind scenes of violence, torture and Dakota Fanning. If you object to such content, then kindly GET OUT.
3

2
1

K, that's them gone. What sort of a person enjoys Man On Fire? The media stereotype would be Sick Perverts Who Are A Danger To Us All. My response is that, though sick perviness does creep into it, there's so much more going on in this flick that to criticise it for not being bloody Bambi is to show yourself to be a narrow minded eegit who deserves imminent death and probably enjoyed Armaggedon spits
The basic plot is, it has to be admitted, just that little bit hackneyed. Denzel Washington stars as John Creasy. He's an ex marine, he's alcoholic, he's as damn close to a walking cliche as you can get without sensitive playing and an ice cold stare of pure unadulterated menace, which Washington thankfully posesses. By striking a note of raw humanity, he engages out sympathies whilst also instilling the sweet fear of baby jesus into his enemies. How does he make said enemies? By agreeing to protect the aforementioned Fanning from kidnap to keep her debt-ridden father in good stead, that's how. And an already dodgy assignment's made even trickier by the fact that the action unspools in Mexico City.
That'll be the KIDNAP CAPITAL OF THE WORLD THEN. The reason i'm making this obvious is that the film is built around Fanning's character-Pita-being taken away by a bunch of crazed mexicans in a fairly late plot development. It's a two and a half hour movie, the kidanpping occurs 90 minutes in, do the sum yourself. So don't plunge in expecting pyrotechnics to be banging from the get-go. What Scott gives us is a series of beautifully executed vignettes about bonding, redemption and faith, the relationship between protector and client…before letting rip with a mighty clusterf*ck of pain.
Dear God, it's brilliant. By choosing to shoot in an amped-up, sugar rush of adrenalin soaked jump cuts, colour distorts and manic cross-cutting, the director has already battered us into submission with sheer visual power. Imagine what it's like to take this, and apply it to a finger-severing set piece. Delightful for those of a "certain mindset", repulsive for Daily Mail readers. Powerful drama welded to bloody carnage? Hell yeah.
In conclusion, this is the best revenge movie ever made. Kill Bill was cool without a heart, The Crow is just a touch too emo for its own poetic good. All the others i've seen are pants (though Sin City looks promising) For tear jerking, pulse pounding fun, you can't beat Man On Fire.
EDIT
C'mon, it's got Christopher Walken and Micket Rourke! In excellent supporting roles! Watch it, you callous bastards, watch it now!

Write later, byeeee


October 11, 2005

Gewt in wit yo homies. Yes.

Writing about web page http://www.iatethepigsface,com

Quick word of advice, if the above weblink turns out to be a real site, feel free to follow it, but if you get arrested, it isn't my problem.
Except for the whole "accessory to introducing people to weird sites" law. Which i'm sure exists. Curses.
So i've been pretty much silent for everyone's sake recently, but now's the time to break the silence with a fiercely independent cry of MUSKRATS. Hot damn, muskrats. (nods head to chemical brothers)
Nononono, this is no way to start a blog entry, let's try again…

Hey, my name's Steve and i own a small log cabin in Idaho. If you need logs, come to my house, and steal my walls. The wife and me are low rent folks, seeing as how she doesn't exist, and i have no neck. (shakes around to prove point) So phone 0897GETMAWALLL0006 today.

Poor Steve.

Anyone else tried mixing Apple Sours with that Shark stuff? You do actually get all the benefits of a hangover, without the pleasure of being drunk. It's great.

Block rocking sheep…Was watching that there Rear Window today. Tres good. Tomorrow we're blazing it up with some Effi Briest analysis, which is either A; Masochistically Amusing, or B; A Dose Of Arse Aching Dullness. You can recreate the experience by sticking pins in your eyes, whilst a realist german recites veeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy (coughs and dies) detailed descriptions at you.
WA HEY!

In conclusion, Gerbils is good.

Write again later, byeeeeeeee


September 26, 2005

Hangover for the past two days….

(looks around at room)
Well this is quite cool, it has to be said. I've got me radio working at a hopefully not antisocial level, i've spent half an hour eating an orange…and i've got my first lecture/meeting in fifty minutes.

ARRRRRRRRGH!!
To say i'm a tad nervous would be a lie, as i'm verrrry, really, actually and completely nervous. I know most of the people on my floor, they're all good, but i've now got to strike out into the comparative unknown to find other folk to chat with whilst scrambling for a pen and losing my paper down the back of someone else's seat.
As if that wasn't enough, i'm torn on what to do tonight. Top Banana's meant to kick a barreload of arse, but it involves queing for a month, and i'm not sure if my aching head can physically handle another session on the booze. There's a free showing of Notting Hill on at 7.30, so maybe i'll strike out over there, then have a quiet half in a bar somewhere before stumbling back to my room…
…who reads these things anyway?! I feel a duty now to be more interesting, like saying "And when i woke up the limbs were still plastered to my roof", or "Then the hippo began eulogising about knees".
On the cooking front, i've so far made some lovely Cheese On Burnt. Here's a tip; Nuking stuff in the microwave, though fun, is not the best way to make toast. Those noodles they sent us in t'welcome packs are a bit bland, yet eveyone seemed to enjoy watching me eat them. Odd, that!
Right, i'm gonna have a bit of a net surf, then go to meet my doom. TC all, and if any Film And Literature students (apart from Lisa K who i know but still haven't met, a situation that must be rectified) want to get in contact, i'll be more than happy to babble at you.

September 17, 2005

Wordup to the masses

Writing about web page http://www.imdb.com

Hello all, especially the people in Arthur Vick, as i've got to live with you guys for a not inconsiderable amount of time. So, what is there to say about me?
I'm 6ft 3, skinny, glasses wearing, and have sometimes been called a geek. I actually don't mind this, provided it's used in a friendly context by someone i've known for ages. My dress sense can best be described as "meh" and "yawn", as i'm mostly lazy and don't care what i'm wearing, provided it's clothes. (or is that "its", i dunno!). My musical tastes are many and varied, but my one true love is Hardcore Trance, and my only hate is Emo (resists urge to rant before getting to know people). Having seen that i'm stopping with several musicians, this could be a problem. Damn. For the moment, let's agree to disgree, bury the hatchet in an unmatked grave and generally ignore the topic of music. Without a doubt, Film is my number one…Thing. I just love it. Ideally, something loud and filled with violence and gratuitous editing, yet i'll happily watch anything provided i can squeeze even the smallest amount of entertainment from it. Intellectualising movies is a good idea, it's important to understand how something works, though not to the degree that all of your passion and visceral reactions are squashed forever under a big book marked "The Screenplay as Art".
I also have issues with the basic concept of Art, or rather, the way certain so-called artists use it. "Oh look, i've shot a pigeon and coated it in grease, it's art". NO IT ISN'T!...this is a debate for more sober times, actually.
In conclusion, i'm far from done with my talking, (i'll talk about anything provided the person involved isn't one of those Blank Wall Speakers…you know the type, they'll say something like "Yes" then clam up completely, it's like trying to build a matchbox out of matchsticks-irritating and pointless, much like myself, in a cheery way :)
Feel free to post up a few comments, i'll respond to them all when i get the chance.
Stay down with the Homebase and up with a squirrel (i must stop drinking…), james

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