February 09, 2011

Week 4 Assignment: Mixing style and genre

I'm seriously going to be handing this in tomorrow. I can't tell if I'm really sad or if I watched too much Blaxploitation over the weekend. Anyway...here is my badass hard-boiled fairytale hybrid.

A different kind of fairytale

He found the corpse at the foot of the biggest tree in all of Roseynose Forest. An eagle swooped down for a loose bow-tie. Benny the bunny rabbit had never seen a human being alive. Leaves rustled. He saw Beatrice the bunny rabbit staring from an old stump. Benny sighed and approached her. The eagle returned for the eyes.

“Benny, don’t tell me –“

“It’s not what you think, Bea. I found the stiff. He looks fresh.”

“I just don’t get it, Benny. That’s the third this month! That makes six!”

“Some serious shit is going down, Bea. I’m gonna find out what it is.”

Together, they bounced back to their home grove. Benny couldn’t sleep that night. His face half-hidden in the darkness of the night, he looked out across Roseynose. It had been his home for the longest time. If any more humans died here, he knew what would happen. The next morning, the animals of Roseynose gathered. Old Winston the stag spoke.

“Friends, there is evil among us. Another human body was found under the biggest tree last night. It has always been our wish to avoid human contact for as long as possible, but it looks as if our time is running out. They will come in their hordes and they will tear Roseynose apart unless we find the one responsible. Until further notice, no one is to leave the grove.” With that, Winston headed back to his quarters.

Benny hardly listened. His attention had been captured by another. Wilhelm the badger, a known hood in the grove, had a familiar look in his eye. When all the animals had left, Benny caught up with him.

“What’s the matter, Willy? Something on your mind?”

“Not me, brother. I’m as fine as fine. Fine as fine as fine, you know me, brother.”

“Cut the shit, Willy. I think you know something about the stiff. And the stiffs from before.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, really? Tell me Willy, why is your harvest is so bountiful for this time of year? You been making any more deals in the other groves? Or maybe I should ask Winston? Or maybe I should just cut you till you bleed berries, you get me?”

“Oh, I get you, brother. But my harvest is no concern of yours. You should be thinking about your own supplies. Especially when you have such a lovely lady-bunny to care for these days. How is Bea?”

“Shut your goddamn mouth, Willy! I know you’re up to something...and I want in.”

“Well, look at this! One last hurrah for my old pal Benny, huh? Ok, I’ll let you in on it, brother. Since you’re an old friend. Grizzly Nixus from Lilyfeather Forest. He has developed a taste for the human flesh. Who can blame the guy? However, he isn’t the most skilled of hunters and humans usually aren’t dumb enough to walk right through a forest at night. Given that I’m such an adorable badger, I go out into the open and play a little game of cutesy-chase with a gullible passer-by. Before you know it, I’ve lured ‘em right on in. Then Nixus can make his kill. Backs are scratched. Needs are met. But you? Well, we could use you. Human sure love fuzzy-wuzzy-wabbits.”

“Is that right?”

“Come with me tonight. I’m meeting Nixus to discuss new plans and I think he’ll be very pleased to see you.”

When the moon had risen to its peak, Wilhelm and Benny set out to meet Grizzly Nixus on the Roseynose-Lilyfeather border. It’s a clearing that most animals wouldn’t dare enter. Nixus came towards them like a great, black phantom.

“Wilhelm. I thought we had an understanding.” Nixus picks Wilhelm up by his small, furry head. “This deal is strictly between you and me.”

“Yes Mr Grizzly Nixus Sir, but you see, Benny here…well as you can see…he’s a bunny rabbit. And with him joining our team, we could lure two, maybe even three humans at a time. Ya see?”

“I don’t see. For all we know, Benny is gonna hop right on back to your grove and tattle. We can’t have that. But he already knows too much. It’s a shame.”

With that, Nixus threw Wilhelm to the ground and looked at Benny. In a clearing of this size, he was helpless. As the great shadow began to move over him, he thought of his home, he thought of his entire life, he thought of Bea. Nixus’ great jaws opened and Benny stared into the abyss. Wilhelm covered his eyes. He waited for the sound of a snap, or crunching or just one, big swallow. Instead he heard choking, gasping and what sounded like a tree falling. When he looked up, he saw Benny. Benny was standing next to Nixus’ body, his paws lost in the endless flow of blood. He held his bloody knife aloft.

“I’m disappointed, Willy.”

Wilhelm was thunderstruck, “W-Why’s that Benny….B-Benny old pal?”

“This motherfucker didn’t bleed no berries. Let’s see if you do.”

Benny twitched his nose and Wilhelm fled in the opposite direction. It took Benny three hours to sever and drag Grizzly Nixus’ boulder-like head back to the grove. He received a hero’s welcome. Wilhelm was never seen again.

February 02, 2011

Some poems from last term

I haven't done a second draft of either of them yet...I'm not really sure if I was supposed to :S But anyhoo, here are a couple of my poems from last term that I like the most.

An ode to Alfred Nobel

A paradox, an oxymoron

The expensive fur coat she bought

The very first and last cigarette

He never wished he’s never had

Where does a moral compass point

For this colourless, oily liquid?

One way to destruction and death

The other to joy and lives rebuilt

It oozes its way to a crossroads

And it creeps to the Middle East

And also finds its way to our hearts

Showing mercy through little pills

One cannot help but wonder if

Doctor Nobel was out of his mind

When he harnessed this great monster

That responds so well to discipline

Thank you Doctor Nobel

Thank you for nothing

For this gift that you have given us

You should be ashamed

For the lives that you have saved

For the lives that you have taken

You can keep your wicked prize

Or just leave it by the door on your way out


The remains of Valentines Day dinner

You wonder what to make of the leftovers

The rice and potatoes. The old meat has gone.

A second full plate. All over the floor in pieces

The presents still wrapped. Still waiting.

A single stump of a candle and black lilies.

A single empty glass winking at you

The room is filled with shadows that aren’t yours

Burn it all. Chuck it in your largest cauldron

On your largest hob. Burn it all.

The saccharine smell of seven months

Rising into your extractor fan

And leaving the bittersweet aftertaste

It’s so hot, suffocating, panicking

You open the window to get some air

Out of the black, you see her, pale and splendid

Beyond your reach. This is it.

The blood has drained from your face

You shut her out and the kitchen glows like an inferno

Your hurt passes with the night

The sun has risen

Gold sieved from the ashen moon

You breathe it in and bottle it

Sod it. The best thing she ever wasted

Stop crawling back inside yourself

This will put some colour back into your cheeks

Week 2 Assignment: Secrets


The lighting of a student pub is harsh and Alyson is sitting in a booth as far away from the rest of humanity as possible. The only trouble is that the walls are in fact windows so she stares blankly ahead, pulling at the sleeves of her dark jumper. From the corner of her eye, she sees a red Mac and dark hair dance past. Alyson rarely gets to see her friend Beth, so she usually enjoys the odd catch-up and chips. Beth goes to the bar, orders a coffee and starts looking around. Alyson could call out to her, she probably should call out to her, but she doesn’t. There’s an awkward moment as Beth catches Alyson’s eye, to find her staring back at her. Alyson panics and stares at the table, because that’s what normal people do in a moment of social discomfort. This doesn’t seem to faze Beth, who approaches Alyson with a wry smile. “Well don’t look too happy to see me!” “Oh, sorry, I was in a world of my own” blags Alyson with all of her might. She forces a smile; though it’s the kind done so poorly that the eyebrows don’t move, so she instead looks like Hannibal Lecter. “I heard some interesting gossip today,” says Beth. Alyson’s heart goes up a gear. She lets out a barely audible “what?” “I’m going to save it. First, tell me about your weekend.” “Oh. Well, nothing interesting happened,” says Alyson. “Yes it did,” Beth quickly replies. Up to third. “What?” which has now become Alyson’s Word of The Day. “Megan’s house party? You can’t tell me there was no drama?” Beth’s wry smile has returned. “No drama? No drama. What do you mean?” Alyson is now talking so fast she is blurring. “What’s up with you?” Beth asks, catching on. “You’re acting all weird.” “Weird? I’m not being weird. You’re being weird,” Alyson replies like a 7-year-old. “I think someone’s hiding something” sings Beth. Alyson glares at her. She knows. She definitely knows. “Nothing happened, Beth. Why? Did someone say something?” Beth stirs her coffee for a moment. “Well, it depends what you mean by nothing, because I heard some very interesting gossip this morning.” Ladies and Gentleman, we have now reached Top Gear. “What?” “You tell me. You were there.” Beth holds Alyson’s gaze for a moment. This requires some quick thinking. “I’m assuming…you’re talking about the shower that Jessie took with Mike T?” This never actually happened. “No! That wasn’t what I heard but I definitely want to hear about it now!” As Alyson spins some bullshit story about The Shower That Never Was, she begins to plan other conversation topics to keep Beth distracted. She loves gossip as much as the next girl, but if it is about what she thinks it is, she can happily avoid the subject until she is on her deathbed.

January 19, 2011

First Assignment : Dialogue

Ok....so this is new! This is the first blog post I've ever done in my life ever ever! Let's take a second to savour the moment...


Assignment 1 for Term 2 of Introduction to Creative Writing. Write a dialogue between 2 people where one knows another's secret. An exercise in powerplay. In the case of my dialogue, the powerplay can go either way depending on one's own interpretation. Creatively, my characters are called A and B where A is the one with the secret. 


B: Hey, have a good weekend?

A: Yeah it wasn't bad...you?

B: Anything interesting happen? Have you already decided what you want?

A: What do you mean? 

B: (pause) From the menu?

A: What do you mean 'did anything interesting happen?'

B: Well, did anything interesting happen?

A: No. Nothing. Why?

B: No reason. How was Megan's party?

A: Why? Has someone said something?

B: No. So something didhappen then?

A: No. Why? Do you think something did?

B: Did you end up going out on Friday?

A: (pause) Yes.

B: (pause) Well...was it good?

A: (pause) Yes.

B: Why are you being weird?

A: I'm not being weird. You're being weird.

B: Why have you gone all red?

A: Because you're being weird and making me paranoid.

B: God, calm down. I was only asking.

A: You're asking like you know something...or whatever, like...nothing happened or anything. I just don't likepeople spreading rumours about me.

B: Who's spreading rumours about you? Really...anyone would think you'd been caught with your pants down...the way you're acting!

And there it is. First draft. Obviously could be better but it's a start. Now to start work on the prose...

Thanks for reading :)

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