All entries for November 2011
November 22, 2011
Follow Up 1:
Firstly, I tried using the non-verbal communication part (posture) in my daily life. After the workshop, I realised the importance of posture in communication. Thus, I tried using some of the tips given to us during the workshop while communicating with people. I tried to put myself in the other person's position and thought what I would make out of certain postures. I tried this technique with several friends and teachers. Initially, I was a bit reluctant and was not confident of what I am doing and would I be able to sustain this (I mean till how long can I do this keeping myself in the other person's position). But, after a few days, it seemed to come up on its own.
I started growing in confidence while communicating especially with the teachers. I have visited tutors and lecturers during thier office hours more often since I am more confident of interacting with them regarding issues. It is helping me to gain confidence. Not only through implementing such things myself, but also through observing others I learnt a few things. I saw how the lecturers get annoyed when certain people are talking in a certain way, or standing in a particular manner; also how they are pleased to answer questions of certain others. It made me learn things about a teacher - student relationship.
On the other hand, I am still trying to learn the art of saying "No" to friends when they make a certain plan and I am not willing to go. I tried doing this last week when everyone wanted to go for a movie but I had to study for my module. I tried making my point clear to them, but they got annoyed with me. I felt bad later on but it was good in a way because I at least told them what I want to do at the moment rather than just going with the flow. I still have to learn how to say a "No" in situations such that no one feels bad about it ( friends and even myself).
November 14, 2011
I attended the P2 Becoming more assertive wrokshop on 7th November. The workshop started with a discussion on aggressive, assertive and passive behaviour and everyone coming up with their own views and beliefs realted to it; finally all of us came up with a general notion or belief. One of the interesting opinions that came up during the discussion was that you are not necessarily passive when you are an introvert; it might be the case that you are an introvert person by nature and choose to remain silent on certain issues but you may still turn out to be an assertive personality along with it. This clearly shows that assertive behaviour is a trait which is carried with you all the time, it is in your personality; thus assertive behaviour is an ability that you have within you to act at certain situations, be prepared for situations and be proactive, standing by your decisions avoiding conflicts and at the same time being respectful towards other, keeping your self respect intact.
Moreover, we learnt about the non-verbal communication, i.e. postures are a very important part of assertive behaviour. I did not think it was such an important thing untill it was demonstrated by Bev, and I actually realised how everyone forms opinions from a person's posture thereby making it a vital part of assertive behaviour (feet parallel, weight firm, face forward, straight back, level shoulders, ready to make eye contact, open gestures - demonstrate assertive behaviour).
Then we learnt about verbal communication and how it could be broken down into separate layers such as voice, intonation and semantic(langauage level). We learnt the "high head and low tail/feet" technique which is a very useful tool in making your point clear while speaking, stressing the points or words you want to. I got a better view about verbal and non-verbal communication when we did practicals, thus applying these things learnt the same day. We were given several situations which we had to act in order to demonstrate aggression, passive and assertive nature. I got a better understanding of things when I observed people demonstrating such behaviours and I made a note of it. Also, I got an opportunit to act myself in such situations, thus making I realise how it feels when you are in such modes and how people act in certain situations thereby making their behaviour more clear and evident.
We then had a final discussion on assertive behaviour and concluded by agreeing that assertive behaviour is suported by a high self esteem and confidence levels. I got a better opinion of this when we actually read about different persons and had to guess of their self esteem and confidence levels. This made it clear that a person can have a high self esteem and low confidence and other combinations of the two. But, assertive behaviour indeed involves high self esteem and confidence levels.
Now that I learnt alot through this workshop, I would want to have the following action points as the follow up of my learning :
1. I am not going to reamain quiet and be a silent spectator to situations which affect me (and for which I want to do something). I would try to make my point clear without hurting anyone, at the same time without being involved in a conflict.
2. I would try to be more confident about myself and keep my self esteem intact in all situations where I can. I would not hesitate from taking the initiative if I think it is the right thing to do.