November 21, 2004

Why plain janes?????

Just a thought why do men prefer plain janes over more exciting,independent,voluptuous beautiful women?

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  1. anon

    In my experience a plain jane (who shall remain nameless for the moment…) managed to get the attention alot of guys i know….this mystified me and my friends! maybe men like boring women

    21 Nov 2004, 20:11

  2. Independent woman

    I totally agree with 'anon'. In my halls last year there was just the one girl that seemed to get all the attention from the guys..this girl agreed with everything the guys had to say and didn't have any opinions of her own. Meanwhile, the girls (the rest of us) who didn't always agree with what was being said, but were still good fun, more so, than the 'plain jane', were looked at as bein intimidating (a comment made by one of the guys himself).

    Men…please justify…

    21 Nov 2004, 20:17

  3. I did have an interesting comment to post, but then I realised that I'd misread the topic as Why plain jeans. So I'll just sit here, shrug, and add one to my post count.

    21 Nov 2004, 20:19

  4. Being intimidated by strong women is just a sign of a weak guy, imo. If they guys are confident enough in themselves, they won't worry about it.

    It's interesting though, I've always thought of "plain jane" being a reference to how somebody looks, rather than their personality.

    21 Nov 2004, 20:24

  5. That just shows how secretly shallow you are Max :)

    Personally I find myself only drawn to crazy/independent people, I'm not sure who all these guys are going for 'plain janes' as I've not noticed the phenomena myself.

    21 Nov 2004, 20:29

  6. No, seriously. if the meaning of "plain jane" has shifted from looks to personality, that is a Good Thing™ – it might mean that personality is being considered in describing someone, above looks.

    21 Nov 2004, 20:42

  7. Amy (not signed in)

    I think men tend to go for good looks and non-threatening or challenging personality.

    Max: You are probably right that it takes a strong man to be with an independent woman etc. Hard to find a strong man though. Either, strong and macho or weak and geeky it seems (stereotypes I know but avoiding particulars)

    21 Nov 2004, 20:58

  8. I think of myself as 'strong' (assuming you mean strong minded, as I'm not going to win any weight lifting competitions any time soon) and geeky, so screw you sterotypes!

    as always with the blog posts decrying the current state of menfolk and womenfolk the usual problem is that you just aren't meeting the right men and women. Try busting out of your current social circles and joing a few random societies, clubs or other activities I'm sure you'll find out that there are lots of very special people at warwick and not just big dunderhead macho smoothies and introverted stay-in-their-rooms-at-all-times-afraid-to-even-look-at-a-girl types in this fantastic world of ours.

    21 Nov 2004, 21:10

  9. I can never go for a plain jane. I always have to go for somebody that has a sparkle. It can only be one sparkle, or many. Can there ever be a plain jane who has no sparkle at all?

    21 Nov 2004, 23:33

  10. I don't think so, eve in the most hardened evil bastard there must be gems of beauty waiting to be exposed, maybe only the aesthetic pleasure of their face caught in a certain light, or the way they laugh.

    There are definitely people who sparkle more though, the people who embrace life and live it right to the edge.

    22 Nov 2004, 00:37

  11. Maybe Plain Janes aren't as plain as they seem? Maybe beneath the surface, they ARE sparkly. Maybe this adds mystery, which is alluring.

    22 Nov 2004, 01:01

  12. I find always find myself interested in women who fulfill two simple criteria:
    1) I find them physically attractive (i'm sorrry, but this has to be the case)
    2) I find them intriguing. People who have lots of hidden depth are fascinating.

    22 Nov 2004, 01:34

  13. you forgot:

    3) People who destroy you ego with cutting comments about your personality and appearance. Nothing like a challenge.

    22 Nov 2004, 01:50

  14. nonsense, they never get to fufill that criteria because I never attempt to make a move on them.

    22 Nov 2004, 01:52

  15. Maybe you need to set up a trail of womanly attracting items leading to your lair?

    22 Nov 2004, 02:17

  16. I have a supply of:
    – Mars Bars
    – Dolly Mixtures
    – Dry Roasted Peanuts
    – Mr Kiplings Bramley Apple Pies
    – Galaxy Caramels
    – The Lion King Special Edition DVD
    – Shrek
    – Money

    Will any of these do the trick?
    – Shrek 2

    22 Nov 2004, 02:22

  17. Well why didn't you say you had such a veritable collection of items, with those you can construct yourself a patented "Woman Attractor 8000"!

    Simply attach the Lion King DVD to at least three galaxy caramels, wrap the carameled DVD in as much money as you can lay your hands on and then using the unholy combination of Shrek's 1 and 2 as "gounding shoes", and holding a handful of Dolly Mixtures, bramley apples and peanuts in one hand and the moneyed, caramelled DVD in the other you should be able to summon forth as many women as you desire.

    The Mars bar however are of no use to you and should be handed over to me immediately for fear of contaminating the device.

    22 Nov 2004, 11:10

  18. Hero

    I sympathise hugely with this topic.

    I am a gorgeous bloke who is fit, talented with excellent hair and teeth, and yet I keep seeing women going out with inferior, spud like men. I wouldn't necessarily want to go out with women with such poor taste, but it would be nice to have sex with someone of the same calibre as me physically once in a while.

    H

    22 Nov 2004, 12:33

  19. Or maybe someone who's intelligent and funny can be attractive without looking like a magazine cover? Or is this just so completely obvious that it doesn't need posting?

    22 Nov 2004, 12:33

  20. It's obvious, but worth posting anyway.

    And I think apple pies would be pretty useful for seducing women. Digestives don't seem to have the same effect though.

    22 Nov 2004, 15:20

  21. back to topic (even though i enjoyed reading about the various ways of seduction).

    there may be girls who are really "plain janes" but i suppose that, as people have said before, they might just not show at first glance that they've got something about them which isn't plain at all.

    i wouldn't consider myself a "plain jane" but fact is i talk very little and don't voice my opinion when i'm around people i'm not too familiar with, usually wear rather dark, unassuming clothes and don't go out much. but once someone actually bothers to get to know me, they realise that being with me can be pretty intense and multi-faceted (without wanting to sound arrogant). just lately a guy who'd normally mock me for "speaking two words per hour" told me that i'm "actually a really cool person to hang out with" after we'd been talking for 5 hours straight for the first time.

    so my point is: "plain janes" most probably have something quite special about them, it's just hiding underneath, waiting to be uncovered.

    22 Nov 2004, 16:12

  22. JJ

    As far as I see, men do not go for plain Janes. They just go for the girl with the hottest body and perfect features. Personality only comes into focus in terms of whether the gril massages their ego or not.

    23 Nov 2004, 11:43

  23. Hero

    You're right I AM modest! Thanks mate! My Eagle is SOARING! God help those pretty LADIES at Score this week I'm gonna do them ALL!

    (By the way I am thinking of getting some glasses so I can look 'itellectual' waddya think??)

    H

    23 Nov 2004, 11:50

  24. Hero

    Hang on! I'm learning..

    I mean 'I hope to meet a WOMAN with whom I can develop some meaningful interchanges!'

    better!

    Cool this is like Trinny and Suzannah for the soul!

    When I get a perfect soul too I am gonna be UNSTOPPABLE!

    H

    23 Nov 2004, 11:57

  25. Maybe if you got some glasses AND learnt to spell intellectual you could do it! Hehe, I'm praying for all the girls at Score! They just aren't going to stand a chance!

    Not all guys go for stunning looks. Sometimes I think 'plain' looking girls have a LOT more going for them.

    23 Nov 2004, 12:34

  26. its amazing how quickly it is to divert from the actual topic on the blog.

    23 Nov 2004, 15:29

  27. That's known as thread hijacking. I am a master of it.

    23 Nov 2004, 16:44

  28. Amy

    Thanx Luke

    23 Nov 2004, 16:51

  29. I sometimes do that, but I did go back to the topic in hand! :D

    23 Nov 2004, 17:34

  30. Voluptuous woman

    COLIN: Don't be so anal Colin..at least the person has made an attempt to get an interesting subject going..unlike your own blog.

    23 Nov 2004, 22:11

  31. anon

    can we meet HERO?

    23 Nov 2004, 22:37

  32. Visiting atheist

    One problem is that it takes a while to realise that looks have absolutely no corollory with personality or sexual athleticism… but that's why it's always the good looking ones who get hit on at the party… so many people want a trophy partner

    24 Nov 2004, 12:24

  33. Rob

    Nah… voluptuous all the way for me

    24 Nov 2004, 13:54

  34. Perhaps it has something to do with the old adage: "It's always the quiet ones…

    24 Nov 2004, 15:19

  35. Hero

    Of course one can meet HERO!

    24 Nov 2004, 16:55

  36. Hero

    Actually I think that trophy people get hit on less!

    I have NEVER been hit on DESPITE BEING GORGEOUS!

    People ALWAYS assume I am married, or make excuses for not talking to me!

    You know Monkey Dust when the woman makes up a WHOLE SCENARIO to avoid commitment and/or sex…

    THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO ME!

    English people are so weird

    24 Nov 2004, 16:58

  37. So basically, everyone who is permanently single is so perfect that the other sex is too intimidated to approach them?

    24 Nov 2004, 18:01

  38. Er…no. We're mostly just too content with Me, Myself and I. Mind you, I find it worrying that I mostly fall into the 'makes cutting comments' category. To be fair, though, I only do that to people I like.

    24 Nov 2004, 20:30

  39. It wasn't an accusation, it was an intepreation of what Hero said. It's not like i'm not permanently single.

    25 Nov 2004, 00:20

  40. Erm we, as in daniels many alteregos like a rock/goth girl, although we dont know why, but really, something common to both parties interest is needed

    25 Nov 2004, 02:09

  41. Like an unstoppable desire to breathe.

    25 Nov 2004, 03:18

  42. Hero

    No! I just said that I think this might be the case with me!

    I am sure that there are plenty absolutely gorgeous women who are walking around a bit depressed, thinking that nobody likes them, or thinking 'Just what do I have to DO' because everyone assumes that they must have a boyfriend, or be unattainable.

    I know women have thought this about me in the past, and been really angry when I've talked to them because they thought I was trying to make fun of them.

    I have also had people tell me they thought I was 'false' and 'arrogant' without even meeting me. They made this up from across the room because I am good looking. It even happened to me this weekend.

    The trouble is that knowing it is only an expression of their feelings of insecurity doesn't make any difference if you genuinely want to talk to someone becasue you are interested in them, and they have all this attitude based on preconception and insecurity.

    It weird, but true! Also I get what I call the 'magazines stare' where people look at you just because you look good, ignoring the you that is obviously squirming at being stared at! It comes from everyone being conditioned to stare openly at pictures in magazines. (that's my theory!)

    ATB!

    H

    25 Nov 2004, 08:25

  43. "I have also had people tell me they thought I was 'false' and 'arrogant' without even meeting me. They made this up from across the room because I am good looking."

    Arrogant? Can't think where they got that impression from!

    25 Nov 2004, 11:50

  44. Don't worry Andrew, I was joking, honestly. Taking things I say seriously – generally a bad idea. :) Just so you know. Anyways, Hero, you come across as amazingly arrogant, to be perfectly frank. Whether or not you're a nice guy or good-looking therefore has little to do with it.

    Like the Plain Janes example. Think about it: some people may not look particularly stunning BUT there's something about them which you can see without even talking to them…the way they interact with other people, the way they smile, the way they light up a room.

    And that, gentlemen, is why some guys are universally fancied. They're nice, and quirky…but they have the sparkle. *

    25 Nov 2004, 12:04

  45. Visiting atheist

    Re unattainable good looking girls…. often they're not approached because they have this "I can choose who I like and will spit on you ordinary types 'cos I can" attitude about them…. or else they have had their self esteem worked over by a complete b*stard and have therefore fallen irreconcilably in love with that said b*stard and will not leave him because "he'll change"...

    So go for the plain Janes, I say…

    25 Nov 2004, 12:30

  46. Wow, visiting atheist, that was a little bitter.

    Often very true, unfortunately, but a little bitter. Some of them are very nice, honestly. I know a few. Does this observation come from close personal experience…or rather I mean someone close to you?

    I don't count as a Plain Jane though, personality wise anyway. I'm a little too…what's the word. Sharp.

    25 Nov 2004, 13:03

  47. Visiting atheist

    Jill, regrettably, it is from personal experience. I have run across several extremely attractive women who have been used as eye candy or a trophy girlfriend and have ended up being made to think how lucky they must be to be in that position while passing up a stream of nicer (and often better looking) guys, their lives then for ever after focussed on nothing other than getting back 'their' guy who is now several more women down the line…. It seems to be a particular gift of some men…

    Alternatively, perhaps I am just really bad at weighing up first impressions… or a hopeless romantic…

    A great personality is always good news… and someone with a brain, too!

    25 Nov 2004, 13:22

  48. Maybe 'plain janes' don't exist. Everyone's different, and there's no need to look upon these women as 'weak-minded', or 'dependents'. Wonder why guys like them? They're probably nice people. Get over yourself and get to know these people. Alone? Do something about it.(if you want).

    {I'm tired, if this offends, well…it's too late to un-read it}:P

    25 Nov 2004, 17:44

  49. Hero

    Re visiting athiest..

    I really don't know what is going on with your arguments! You are clearly stating that good looking people fall in love and pine just like anyone else, but you claim that because they are good looking in their case the same feeling translates as thinking they are like soo lucky!

    You are missing the fact that the ascribed 'I can choose who you like and will spit on you ordinary types' is the thought process going through YOUR head – not theirs!

    I think you would be dumbfounded if you were suddenly told by someone that you were thinking something you weren't and then were BLAMED for it!

    25 Nov 2004, 17:56

  50. Erm…eh? Oh, I'm confused. It's only eleven at night too. D'oh.

    Anyways. Maybe Michael's right, and there's no such thing as a plain Jane.

    Wouldn't that be a nice thought to go out on maybe? That we're all special and individual and…things?

    No? Maybe just me then.

    And, to visiting atheist: I take my first impressions of people, turn them completely around and then see how that works.

    I've tried judging people on my first impressions…and trust me. It really doesn't work. You have to go deeper.

    05 Dec 2004, 22:59

  51. Nicole

    This comment goes to all of you!

    I, myself, am a "plain jane". I even openly admit it. And you know what? I LIKE IT!!!! Yes! I like being just who I am. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what the opposite sex finds attractive – a person who know who he/she is and loves himself/herself. I have a very peculiar sense of style. I don't "dress up" on a regular basis. My concern is only making sure my clothes are clean, that they match, and that they are comfortable to me when I put them on. No, I don't look like anything remotely close to a magazine cover model, but I don't look like "who-did-it-and-ran" either. But guess what? Men find me irresistable, especially the knucklehead types. I am happy and content with my life, I accentuate the positive, and I am of the opinion that any man would be lucky to have me. If he doesn't want me, it's his loss. Next! I have a certain air of confidence about me that men appreciate. There's something about my persona that says, "I am not needy, desperate or clingy. I take take you or leave you, and I'll be fine!" In this present day and age people are only (or I should say mainly) focused on the outward appearance without giving any thought to beautifying their characters and personalities. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that there's anything wrong with looking nice. if "dressing up" is what you like to do, then do it! By all means. Whatever makes you happy. But keep in mind that youthful beauty is only temporary. You're not gonna be twenty years old forever. Inner beauty, however, NEVER fades. So, in closing, whether you are a "plain jane" or a prom queen, there is some worthy companion out there for you – someone who is perfectly compatable to you and will love you for WHO your are, not because of WHAT you are. Just be your nice, sweet, talkative (or intraverted) self, treat everyone with respect, be polite and exercise good manners and not only will you attract members of the opposite sex, but you'll have plenty of good friends and acquaintances as well.

    Hope this helps. Please let me know what you think.

    Nicole

    14 Feb 2006, 14:30

  52. You missed this debate by 15 months.

    14 Feb 2006, 14:48

  53. Nicole

    Oh.

    So sorry. I found this page by accident, was reading the debates, was interested, and wanted to put my two cents in. Hopefully, maybe the debate can be ressurected? If not, no problem.

    Have a great day. Happy V'day to you and yours.

    Nicole

    14 Feb 2006, 20:24

  54. As you're here, I'll give resurrection a go, but don't expect too many responses other than mine…

    I think it's that "plain Janes", to rather misuse a word, are seen as a less risky "investment" than those who aren't. Of course, some guys quite like the idea of having to keep their lady on a leash, but the majority would rather take the option of somebody who is "up for it". Effectively, I think you're spot on. Trying to be somebody you aren't is just asking for trouble. Guys who want aggressive flirts will find them. Guys who want a quite shy girl will find one. It's just a case of being in the right place at the right time. If you try to be an exhibitionist when you aren't you'll quickly be found out, and vice versa.

    Wonder if anyone else is reading this…?

    15 Feb 2006, 14:39

  55. Nicole

    Hello, Luke

    Thanks for entertaining my comments, however late my entries may be.

    Yes, I agree with you. I preach this all the time: just be yourself. He/she will either like and accept you or not. Build up your emotions, learn to handle disappointment, and move on.

    Whether we admit it or not, the fact remains that the average person appreciates truth and honesty from others (even if they, themselves, don't practice it). Pretentious girls turn a guy off. I believe that guys find me alluring because, though I'm a "plain jane", I am a certified, true-to-life one, not just some wannabe. Men love when I keep it real. It also helps me in that it's easier on my emotions.

    15 Feb 2006, 15:37

  56. Rik

    Personally, I do have a preference for “plain Janes,” tomboys, soccer players, ambulance drivers/emts. Shorter hair or pulled back in a ponytail…You know the type. I’m not trying to stereotype, these are just some of the areas where I’ve encountered them. Forget all the foofoo stuff (hairspray, face (daily makeup regimine,) long, painted nails, miss prissy manners. I see them and just keep walkin, however, “plain Janes” usually get a second, third, fourth look from me. Then they wonder what my problem is. Although I’ve never dated one or have been shot down trying to, they’re my preference by far. I want the real person. Someone who’s just cool to hang with….Well date too…maybe…if they’re willing…

    Just my two cents…

    04 Oct 2006, 19:55

  57. that chick

    well i mean as far as it all goes i would really like an answer to this because i’m that girl the one who has tons of guy friends and has been told numerous times that i’m drop dead gorgeous but just super intimidating because i am confident in myself i mean my guy friends have told me there’s definately nothing wrong with me i mean they told me that i’m funny, smart, outgoing, sensitive, and sarcastic and yet guys are typically intimidated by me and what i wanna know is why i’ve been told it’s because guys think i’m way out of their league is this the case or …..?

    31 Oct 2007, 22:00


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