Blogger's questionnaire + bonus
Q What would have on your headstone?
A Beneath these sods lies another one
Q What's your dream car?
A Lexus 2054 (entirely electrically powered sports car)
Q Is pornography morally wrong?
A This depends on what it depicts and how it is used
Q Write the opening line of a wonderful novel
A Once upon a time there was this guy. His name was Jo.
Q What's the best music video ever?
A I have never ever watched a music video.
Q If you had a big win in the lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?
A I would tell people once I had donated all the money to a cause worthier than mine or theirs
Q Do you carry a donor card? Why (or why not)?
A Yes, I donate blood
Q Where would you like to retire?
Q What is something you wish you were better at doing?
A Having the confidence to approach a potential paramour
Q What colour do you prefer your pens to write?
A The colour that they are supposed to write
Q Are babies cute?
A It depends on whether you are watching them sleeping or changing their nappy
Q Do you subscribe to a magazine? If so, what?
A Not at present (For the record 'not at present' is not the name of a magazine)
Q What's your favorite shape?
A Hmm… I have one in mind but I won’t say.
Q What was the last thing you used a microwave for?
A Heating up a ready meal of battered shrimps, (when I was revising for exams and had no time to cook)
Q What book are you reading?
A The Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Q Do you like rollercoasters?
A Speaking from experience… no!
Q Which came first – the chicken or the egg?
A The egg, since dinasours laid eggs long before anything resembling a chicken walked the planet.
Q Cite a song lyric that means something to you
A Set me free
Q What's the best photo you've ever taken?
A Possibly Mont Blanc and surrounding peaks on a cloudless day perfectly reflected in a lake.
Q Write a new couch gag for the opening credits of The Simpsons
A Erm, Homer gets jammed in the door as everyone rushes into the living room, so the next shot is of an empty couch
Q Tell me a knock knock joke
A a. Knock knock. b. Passes out
Q Describe yourself in five words
A Tall; intellectual; anxious; honest; gay
Q Who should play James Bond now that the role is vacant?
A Jude Law
Q Write a haiku (3 lines, 5–7-5 syllables)
A In the stealth of night/ riding on his mighty steed/ Turpin was his name
Q What comic book (or cartoon) character would you be? Why?
A Bugs Bunny – I like carrots
Q What's the oldest thing you own?
A Until recently, probably my Alexander the Great tetradrachma coin. Now, I don't know.
Q What's your favourite word?
Q What word(s) do you hate?
A Movie, amongst others
1. Today as I was riding the metro out of town (Lille, France) a rather feeble old man clutching a newspaper got on. I stood up to let him sit down but before he could do so the three old ladies to my left shuffled along so that they now occupied my former seat, which was at the end of the row, and the two seats to the left of it. The old ladies then grinned at the old man, who was clearly quite flustered. It reminded me of one of those Olivio TV adverts – I'm not sure whether they are still being transmitted because I don't have a TV set at the moment and even if I did I wouldn't receive British televisual airwaves.
2. The last time I was in my gym, whereof I've been a member for the last 10 months I observed that above the slightly lower positioned shower head someone had stuck up a rather professional-looking acrylic sign with the words 'douche reservee pour Guillaume' ('shower reserved for William') on it. I wondered whether this had anything to do with the apparently private champagne party (to which everyone else seemed oblivious) that took place in the vicinity of the jacuzzi the previous time I was in the gym.