November 15, 2008

A little more than before

I've added a little more to this experiment I was working on. It's starting to move in a different direction which I'm not sure I like yet. The two sections we fuelled by two different states of mind but both are a play on my worst character traits (caricatured of course!). It's getting a look darker.. and more weird. Probably because I've been reading Gunter Grass this week. What do you think?

I arrange my fruit bowl. I shift the clementines, rotate the peaches and shuffle the plums into their place. There is never a banana, they rot the fruit around them. The fruit is round, plump, ready to be picked. It is my own little garden. A garden in a bowl. If I arrange my fruit bowl just-so, my friends will like me. They’ll come into my kitchen and they’ll see it, sitting there, reassuring, radiating vitamins and shine. They’ll think, ‘Now that’s a nice fruit bowl’ and wonder why they don’t have one like it. I’ll know I am better than them, for now.

My shoes are too shiny. Against the shawn, moist grass they are stark, and ill-fitting. I twist my ankle, turning up my heel. No, that hasn’t helped at all. I take a step, sinking my heel into the freshly-cut forest, wondering if I should step a little lighter so that little creatures won’t be crushed. Turning away from the white glare, I hope I haven’t startled any passer-bys. The cars drive on. Luckily, there hasn’t been an accident.

I don't want to talk to you. Your little voice is squirming, an eel, it slithers out of your mouth and lays itself upon my lap expectantly. A little green-eyed monster, its eyes fixated on its target. It begs the affirmation and affection which it knows it will receive. I'm not going to do that today. I pat the little monster on the head curtly, and with an expressionless face I guide it back to you, holding it up to your ear as it wriggles inside. Your eyes widen. That was a suprise! I draw air into my lungs, cool and clean, and hold it there for a second or two.

I like it when you dance for me, obediently. Normally, I have no say and you may move as you please. I like it that way. But tonight I want you to dance for me. I want them all to see you twirl yourself around my little finger, and shimmy your way under my thumb. Wrapped around my hand I am content. I tighten and open my fist, testing the strength of the bonds. They will suffice and so will you.


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