All 10 entries tagged Lovelife

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June 28, 2006

Bloody timing

All term hanging around with a girl I knew slightly before but never as much. we become close friends, get on well, people start wondering if we're going to get together but she's getting back with her ex so I just leave it and don't try anything.

Then, last night, roughly 7 hours before I leave Leam for the last time (apart from graduation) and we end up pulling.

I hate the timing of my entire lovelife, it always does things to me at weird times. This happened to anyone else, or is it just me who's such a total victim of sods law?

Edit-18 hours later–well, looks like it's just me then.


April 19, 2006

Bit of a Ben Kweller mood today

And avoiding revision.
Think the meaning is pretty obvious

Ben Kweller
"I Need You Back"

Take me back when you think that it's good.
It feels worse than they said it would.
You're gone but not forever.
When I know that I'm never wanted
I tuck away in my turtle shell.
I've standed on this hex forever.

I need you back, I need you here,
to take away all of my pain and then my fear.

Hey! I need you back.

Like a ghost on his darkest visit,
you got my soul, now baby why is it
gone gone gone? Take it from me.
You are free if you can sleep at night,
you really must be hard if you're feeling alright.
Hey hey hey, we're way uptown, we gotta turn around.

I need you back, I need you here,
to take away all of my pain and then my fear.

Hey! I need you back.

I need you back, I need you here,
to take away all of my pain and then my fear.

Hey! I need you back.
(I'm so lost without you.)


April 18, 2006

Hmmm

Ben Kweller: Wantin' Her Again

that girl, she's got me runnin' back and forth and over again.

says she's gonna love me but she just won't tell me when.
she won't ever say, cause she just wants to play. oh,
she just wants me wantin' her again.

she comes from california so she's got a lot of guys.
thats where she was born ya, right beneith the ol' sunshine.
i'm a lonely man but she don't understand. no,
she just wants me wantin' her again.

oooh, she loves to know
oooh, that i need to know
oooh, everywhere she wants to go.
that girl's a crook, she's got my heart in her pocketbook.

she don't even wanna be my friend.
she just wants me wantin' her again.

oooh, i thought about it
oooh, i can live without it
oooh, i'm gonna stand up straight.

i'd appreciate all the things she done.
if that girl was smart she'd be on the run.
she'd be happy to dig a hole and throw you in.
she just wants me wantin' her again,
just wantin' her again, just wantin' her again.

With thanks to Alcwyn for playing this so much I actually thought it was one of his songs. And I do still want her, that hasn't changed.


April 13, 2006

More lyrics

I love Strung Out, for a punk band they have some very fitting lyrics for my life at the moment.

"Lost Motel"

A picture on the wall, Like a postcard with a better view of
All things absent from Room 209.
Diana sips from an empty glass of hope she poured last night,
The clouds above reflect the shape of all she's gotta leave behind.

We always think there's something better in the place we are not

In dreams the reality of it all

Nobody's happy where they're at and we all wanna be somebody else

Another scribbled stationary book of lies,
Another staged confession that just goes unheard,
Harry Detroit in 304 made one last promise now,
I'm going out without a trace a vanishing act before your eyes

Nobody wants what they have got and what they got is not enough

In dreams the reality of it all

A lighter shade of green the grass maybe if I believe it so, then I'll be home.

Here I go uncertain that if what I find is what I want,
the best for me is everything,
I reach for the same as what I'm running from,
I guess I'll never, guess Iíll never know

Is it the struggle that we live for,
Is it keeping us alive to breathe to want, to know, to love

Just one more day
Just one more way

So here I go
I'm half the way to home
I'm half the way to home
I'm half the way to home


April 02, 2006

Trust

Trust is a complex thing, so long to establish, so easy to lose.

A general question, trying to find out a consensus here.

Can you ever trust someone who cheated on you? Does it depend on the level of cheating. Or is that it, one strike and they're out?


March 25, 2006

Just the way i'm feeling

Told through lyrics:
Part 1
A look of discontentment fills your hazel eyes
as I ask for the millionth time what's goin' on?
you seem to be confused
about just where you stand with me tonight
as we tear apart all that wasn't lost to another fight

Chorus
and so we turn against each other
once again you run and I go hide
talkin' to myself again
bout all the things I should've said
I'll wait for you
I said I'll wait for you

I wanna know where this is going
and do we still have a chance
to save what we haven't lost again
I made a promise to myself not to let this go
but now I need to see this through
to burn these paper walls of doubt

Chorus

My fucked up head is spinning round
and all my thoughts just keep me down
here on your doorstep
I'm drunk again
I know you're sick of all my shit
and I know you wanna end this
so tell me right now where do you stand?
I know you're tired of this waiting game
and I know you're tired of all my ways
I know you're tired of it all
just tell me now
I wanna know where this is going
and do we still have a chance
to save what we haven't lost
inside all these paper walls we build
and all the ashes that have spilled get in the way
get in the way

Chorus

Part 2

I can see it in your eyes
I can hear it in your voice
the signs are obvious
that all we had has run its course
and I don't mind giving up the upper hand
in this little charade
cuz I've spent too many nights here on the floor
waiting for something inside you to change

Chorus
don't look back in anger now is all that you can say
cuz angers all I got to keep me warm when you're away
and I know that this is nothing new
but tonight it's all I know
disconnect myself from your memory
and never feel anything at all
to justify with all your words
don't mean anything to me
cuz I've cut you off

so here we stand and face each other
we've got nothing to say
a flashback to another time
when silence was a welcomed friend
now I'm sorry I can never really say
all the things goin on inside my head
silence is a justified expression of my war
now nothings like it was before

Chorus

Don't look back in anger its just a memory
its easy to forget your face
and it's easy to survive in this place
without you without you
I just comb my hair and wash my face
keep straight ahead and keep my pace
just think about nothing, and it will be alright
well I got my friends I got my pen
I got a million distractions to keep me warm
and I know, that I'll be alright
That I'll be alright.

Thank you to Strung Out for the best pair of breakup songs I can find :(


March 24, 2006

Aaargh

Still confused, jusst don't know what to do for the best. She says she needs time to sort herself out, and I don't want to pressure her, but the sorting out is making her really upset and I want to be there for her.

Dammit, being in love really messes with your head


March 20, 2006

What happened

Well, that was a shit weekend.
What happened? Two days trying to figure out what I did or said that I shouldn't have, or didn't do or say that I should, and my mind just goes round in circles….
I miss you, and wish there was something I could do to get you back, but I just don't know what it is. So confused about the whole thing, it all seemed fine then suddenly it's gone, and I don't know what to do.

January 23, 2006

Gotta love the NHS

Follow-up to Dammit, Why are we back at uni so early? from Anyone Can Post On The Internet

You really have to love the health service in this country. Especially our local hospital in Cornwall. My mother has managed to have her operation (which she's been waiting for for roughly 18 years) postponed twice at short notice but that's nothing compared to today.

The girl who I was writing about previously, and have since visited again to find that we now like each other even more, was supposed to be having an operation today. This was cancelled all of, ooooh….half an hour before it should have begun, well after she had been sedated. I managed to spend all day worrying, especially after a phone call when she'd first been sedated. Then I have a very upset girl who has been waiting for this operation for quite a while crying to me down the phone in a very sedated state.

Gotta love state provided public healthcare don't you?


January 05, 2006

Dammit, Why are we back at uni so early?

Is it really too much to ask that term starts on Monday? Seeing as we are paying Warwick £193,000,000,000,000,000 or some other ridiculous amount per term to study here, is it really too hard to actually have a 10 week term.?

I have to admit, I'm not that bothered about being here for 10 weeks, my main problem is that after this holiday, I would really have liked to stay in Cornwall for a few more days.

As with many problems for men, this was caused by a woman. Over Christmas I ended up seeing a girl who I really get on with, am really attracted to and enjoy spending time with. And vice versa. But then I have to come back here, and now I miss her a ridiculous amount, and am so annoyed that I'm dragged away. I've only known her since the day I went down to Cornwall, so about 3 weeks, but I've really started to feel for her. Having been dragged up here, I could really do with it being worthwhile, but my timetable for the next 5 weeks is ridiculously slack, and I end up with 2 free days a week, so I'm starting to question just how much it's worth me being here, especially when I'd much rather be somewhere else.
Don't get me wrong, I like being up here and enjoy meeting up with people again and getting back into the usual drunken routine, but I could definitely have done with a couple more weeks down there.

Sigh….


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