All entries for March 2005

March 31, 2005

More Extortion

Follow-up to Evil Extortion Scheme from Anyone Can Post On The Internet

As i said in the above entry, the main problem I could see would be that savettoby would generate imitators.

Well, here's the first one SaveFred Seems a bit less thought through, but the same principle. Now how long before these guys start sending bulk e-mails "Hi, my name is Fred and unless you help I will be eaten"

Let the floodgates open!

Update: 20/5/05 SaveFred is now offline, don't know how long it has been down for. SaveToby is still up, and now up to $28,000


March 30, 2005

England 2:0 Azerbaijan

Is it just me?
Am I the only one who watches England's matches and thinks that Wayne Rooney is vastly, ridiculously overrated?
Ok, the guy's good. For his age, he's bloody brilliant. But if I just listened to matches on the radio, I'd be sure he was the saviour of the team, his every touch inspiring them to greater feats of glory. I'd put at least 5 players in the first team before Rooney's name went on the sheet, and probably more like 7. He was our best player in Portugal, true (closely followed by Lampard), but they were all pretty crap in Portugal. He's probably the best second striker. Although seeing as Sven won't give anyone else more than 15 minutes up front, we'll never know.
Also, in a kind of related way, what have Michael Owen and David Beckham done to annoy the BBC's commentary team? From watching tonight's game on BBC1, I'm sure Owen must have slept with Mark Lawrenson's sister, or killed his son, or something. He can't do anything right. Owen misses a header from the middle of the box and it's "a glaring opportunity, missed to the disbelief of those behind the goal and probably himself", "not the Michael Owen we're used to". Rooney does exactly the same and "he'll be disappointed. But he did have to lean back for it". "It was a hard chance to take."
Rooney setting up Steven Gerrard's goal was "superb". Were these people watching the same goal? He controlled a pinpoint pass from 40 yards by Beckham, somehow outsprinted one of Azerbaijan's finest, then managed to cross behind the two guys who were actually in the box. the ball managed to come to Gerrard after a deflection from another defender. It's not what he intended. It's a fluke guys.
Then Beckham. Alen Hansen after the match "His performance in the last 4 or 5 matches haven't lived up to his high standards."
Sorry….what?!
Our first chance, Beckham runs 40 yards-this is the England player with no pace-onto Lampards through ball, somehow keeps it in and gets it back to Rooney. Who does sod all with it. He starts the first goal with a long ball to Rooney, then scores the second himself. If that's not living up to his standards then what's he supposed to do, play blindfold?

Ok….the opposition was only Azerbaijan, this was supposed to be a walkover. They did do well to stop us scoring, basically by having at least 8 men in the box at all times. And yes, they might have been a bit of a threat if it weren't for a tendency to shoot from 35 yards out along the ground. But even so, Beckham was by far the most awake England player on the pitch. Owen should have scored but didn't exactly miss any open goals. And that's ignoring the disallowed goal in the first half.

Oh, and as for Kramarenko, Azerbaijan's "hopeless" goalkeeper (Mark Lawrenson again) he didn't exactly do badly. At the time he was described as hopeless, he'd conceded just as many goals as Robinson, exactly 0, with far more to do due to a decidedly ropy defence. And watching the replays, what exactly could he have done about either goal? He didn't exactly do badly with the saves he was called upon to make either. I have a sneaking suspicion that you could put Petr Cech or Iker Cassilas behind the Azerbaijan defence and they'd concede a couple if they had that many attempts to score. Skysports coverage says "Kramarenko appeared a compulsive puncher with an inability to catch the ball coupled with an impulsive habit of charging from his line. But, after his problems with the Poles, he made a succession of (largely unconvincing) saves." It doesn't matter how convincing they are, so long as the ball doesn't go in.

Then there's the referee's slightly dubious booking policy as well. Is running around with one boot really such a heinous crime? It's your feet that are going to be stood upon. And if Owen really intended to handball when diving 2 yards out, wouldn't he at least have directed it into the net?

Ok, sorry. end of rant.


March 28, 2005

Evil Extortion Scheme

Writing about web page http://www.savetoby.com

Ok, this is just worryingly sick. Some guy in America has concocted a plot to raise money. Put lots of pictures of your cute pet rabbit online, then say that unless people donate enough money or buy enough merchandise ($50,000 worth) by a certain date, then the rabbit will be taken to the butchers and then eaten. Put up a gallery, a shop and a recipe book with lines such as:

"1 Toby cut in serving-sized pieces"

and watch the money come rolling in.

The worrying part is that if he succeeds then soon we can expect to see our inboxes filling up with lots of "Save the cute furry bunny" spam as well as the usual "You have won and iPod" and "Phwooar, look at these jugs" crap that we get anyway.
Even more worrying is the fact that he appears to have raised $20, 000 already.

Ok, it even has a video of the rabbit (Which is currently unavailable). Very, very sick people out there.

Especially the people who gave this guy a book deal!!!


The Worst pun in the world

Was sent this one earlier: Oh dear

A frog goes into the bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nametag that her name's Patricia Whack. So he says "Hello Patricia Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and take a long vacation."
Patti looks at this frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. He says $30,000, and Patti asks his name. The frog says it's Kermit Jagger, he's the adopted pet of Mick Jagger and it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a large sum of money, so he'll need something to use as collateral against the loan, and does he have anything? The frog says "Sure, I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and leaves the room. She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know Mick Jagger and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant and asks "What the heck is this?" The Bank manager looks her in the eye and says:

"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

And who says Americans have no sense of humour


March 26, 2005

Hehe, as i suspected


Which Family Guy character are you?

March 25, 2005

Well, here we go

Ok, so here's the first proper entry. Hmmm. Too sober for this. In fact, I'm too sober to have signed up for this in the first place. Ah well.

Stuck in Cornwall at the moment, which despite being sunny(ish) is kind of cold, especially in its usual Force 19 gale conditions. Only stuck down here because if I'd stayed in Leam I'd actually have been unable to afford to eat. Managing to survive by meeting people again and staying well away from the parents. Otherwise I'd probably end up running screaming to the train station and jumping on the next one North. Could mean waiting a while, this is Cornwall.

I really ought to be doing some work towards my course, as i have roughly 3 weeks to learn Quantum Mechanics and Russian.
This could be a problem.

However, have no actual motivation to do anything vaguely productive, so what the hell. Might start putting up some pictures…..

Ok, some pictures up, picked pretty randomly from last years selection. Will add some for this year later on. Almost picked up a textbook, thought better of it. Watched the new South Park (903) again, still not impressed. It's ok, but nowhere near some of the great ones.

Hmm, strange co-incidences everywhere. Currently reading Hunter S. Thompson-Kingdom of Fear. Decide to check out the Onion, where they have an article on Gonzo journalism . Reading HST shows just how much someone who's really weird can get away with. The guy was nearly elected Sheriff of Aspen!

Still sunny, still freezing. I wouldn't mind it being grey if it was warm, but it has to give you this false sense of security, just to make you step outside without thermal underwear and a dog with a barrel of Brandy. Almost makes me feel sorry for the hordes of holidaymakers who are no doubt at this moment queuing back to Bristol to try and get down here in the hope that it'll be warm. Then on Monday they all pile back into their cars for the return trip. Why do people do this? Who Knows?


Finally Entering the blogging world

Well, here it is, I've finally gotten round to getting a blog. This is mainly due to Swede, who's kept tellling me to, and also keeps using my photos on his page, so I thought I'd better get my own before I lose them all.

I'm going to use this page as somewhere to put my random musings to see if anyone else finds them remotely interesting/amusing, or even just so that future generations can look back and see how great our society once was.

Anyone who got here by sorting by subject is out of luck, as the chances of me posting anything more work related than moaning about the fact that I've done no work are pretty much zero.

I study physics, not english, so any comments on bad spelling/grammar or anything of the sort will result in the perpetrator being the subject of a voodoo curse. A second offence will lead to a ninja being despatched and a nuclear attack on a small neutral nation.


March 2005

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