All entries for May 2005
May 31, 2005
So far I haven't missed a single top b this term. It was my aim at the beginning of term to go to every top b of this term. Not the best term to do it in, I know, but it was my aim.
Yes I know a very sad aim, but I decided that at least this way it would get me out for a bit. So my plan was that I'd go, even if it meant going alone. If I were to go alone, I would only go and have a drink and then come back to my room and fall asleep.
Well I've spent all of today, or is it yesterday now, I'm not sure, but anyway. I spent all of today trying in earnest to study, but I really couldn't study, nothing was goign in my head. I found myself reading the same line in my notes over and over again, and by 8pm I was feeling really rotten as I'd basically wasted my whole day.
Yes, I know what some people otu there will think. Why don't I go to the library, well basically the point is, I can't study in the library, every single noise that anyone makes in there annoys me.
Well I went to top b and met up with my sister there. Well I met up with my very drunk sister and her very drunk friends.
Tonight's top b was a very surreal one, and to be honest one that I would rather not repeat.
OK, nothing wrong with going out with your siblings, but there is when your siblings act in a way that you're not used to and try to get you to act in that way. As I am not going to elaborate, I'll end here. Night night
May 26, 2005
Writing about web page http://www.bonsaikitten.com/
I don't know if anyone out there has ever heard of this. The above webpage describes how you can mould your cat to the shape of any container and similar things. It is of course a joke site, but the funny thing is that so many people took it seriously. Friends of mine even wrote to the RSPCA complaining about it, but the thing is, it is so obviously a joke.
The site gives you instructions as to how to make your own bonsai kitten, and has pictures of their own bonsai kittens (cats in class jars).
What I like about the site is that it is done as if it actually were real and it takes it self so seriously.
THe site even claims that there is a new invention that will allow kittens to live forever. So if anyone is interested in the art of cat sculpturing go to the above site, although please bear in mind in case anyone out there finds it offensive, it is meant as a joke and please please please (I am seriously hoping no one out there does try it) don't believe that kittens bones are soft and that they will bounce when you throw them on the floor, and please don't try to make your own bonsai kitten. IT'S A JOKE!!!!!
However the main thing is if you do find yourself being offended by anything that is offensive to animals dont go to the site.
I don't know about anyone other there, but I love receiving mail, be it from my email accounts or an actual letter. There is somethign extremly gratifying about getting a letter/postcard/anything from someone you know. It makes you feel appreciated. However there are some things that annoy me….
While I enjoy getting letters, I get irritated when I receive yet another threat from the TV licensing agency, you know one of those letters that they churn out, exactly the same to everyone apart from your room number. Other letters that I hate are those that raise your hopes up. You know when someone goes, oh yeah you have a letter and you think, yay someone remembers me, but when you check it you find out its something from your Tesco clubcard or from one of those things you stupidly signed up for at the beginning of the year when you wanted free stuff from some careers fair.
Now onto email. I am sure like lots of people out there I have more than one email account, and especially now that I am speaking to friends a lot on messenger checking my mail gets dull as I very rarely have anything.
But then comes the day when I notice, oh new mail and I get excited thinking its something worthwhile, you know a funny story from a friend at uni, a nice I miss you letter, or something.
But then it turns out to be some email advertising some viagra type substance, or from one of those companies whose software you use telling you every week that your version of their software (verion 2.0) is nowhere near as good as their new and improved version (version 2.0.1a or something). OK so I guess I really should make use of those spam filters taht most email accounts are offering, but I just can't be bothered going through and doing that, I find that deleting them is quicker and easier. Once I actually clicked on all of them and went to the bottom of the email where I had the option of going off their mailing lists. It actually worked for a few days, until they undoubtedly sold my email address to some other company.
The other email thing that I hate are those annoying forwards which goes on about how a friend should be like this, or like that, and that if you don't forward it to at least 10 people in your address book you will suffer a lifetime of bad sex, or you will never find your true love. Yes, maybe these threats work on a 10 year old, but come on, who in their right mind is going to fall for that one now. And why do the friendship emails end with, it is national friendship week, show your friends how much they mean to you. I have never heard of national friendship week, and I seriously doubt that it is every week. Also, those emails where they tell you that so and so suffers from (insert disease here) and that (insert company name here) will pay for the lifesaving operation if they manange to get so much email support. I remember once in my secondary school, this girl was raising money for one of those things, she actualyl raised quite a bit of money, even got support from the school, only to discover that it was a hoax and it someone trying to rip people off.
The only other thing more annoying than the above email is when you actually receive something decent but you delete it as you've grouped it together with all the spam and rubbish forwards that you've been sent.
But I guess the main point of this is just to say, I love receiving mail that comes from friends or family that actually means something personal to me or is funny.
I guess this rant is just my form of delaying my revision, however I have been asleep for most of the evening so I guess there's nothing else that can delay revision much more.
My sister is a lot better, thanks for asking. She was giving pain killers on Monday, which she said worked almost straight away. On Monday I made my way over to her house late at night to check up on her and she was fine.
When I told her about my theory about poisoning her, she said that it wasn't me, but it was dodgy food from Cholo's. In fact she is adamant that it wasn't my fault.
She had an exam on Tuesday morning, which she says didn't go too well, but she still thinks she's passed. Thank goodness.
Anyway that's all I have to say, too much revision to do.
May 23, 2005
About half an hour ago my mum called me up to say my older sister, who also goes to this uni was taken to hospital and she didn't know why. I immediately tried to find out why, calling her mobile, her boyfriend's mobile and her friends mobile's and got nowhere other than the fact that she had bad stomach pains and that her boyfriend took her to hospital.
Well eventually I got a call back, this time from my mum telling me that the doctor didn't think it was appendicitis and that he thought it was food poisoning.
Now the question I ask myself is; was it my fault?
You see, my sister came to visit me yesterday and I normally cook for her. Normally my food is decent, but yesterday, due to revision and all that kind of thing, I had to give her my left over rice that had been in my fridge for about a week, and I fried some eggs for her.
Now the thing is, normally I sit down and eat with her, but yesterday for a change I didn't. I already know that eggs and rice are common causes of food poisoning. So what I want to know now is, am I the cause of her poisoning??
And the other thing is, if I am, does she know this?!?!?!
Maybe I shouldn't have left the rice in the fridge so long, maybe i should have checked the eat by date on the eggs and maybe just maybe, I should stop cooking for my sister.
But the main thing I want to clarify is this, I have never poisoned anyone before and it has still not been confirmed that I have, so until that date my food is still safe to eat. Anyway it is far more likely that she poisoned herself as she has done that before.
I'll just have to wait and see….
May 22, 2005
Well I've watched Sin City. To be honest I don't know quite how to describe it, but wow.
I guess the moral of the story is that good people don't always win, or that no matter how things seem there is always good out there. I'm not quite sure, I guess it's down to what you think. But it was amazing. Dark and grotesque, but compelling all the same.
It is made up of a series of stories, and when I first started watching it there didn't seem to be any connection between them, but by the end all the stories come together, not exactly meshing together, but a bleak view of Sin City (or Basin City) is created.
If you don't mind films that are a bit sick and dark, then watch Sin City, but if you're anything like my sister's that get freaked out by Butterfly Effect, don't watch it. But I thought it was great.
I don't know the first thing about films, but I have to say that I loved the wayw the city was portrayed in black and white apart from occasionaly bright colours. I don't know somehow this made it 1) seem more comic bookish, and 2) more horrifying.
OK i'm goign to end there, not a good review and definately a review that gives the film any justice.
I can sleep quite happily while people from my corridor are running and screaming outside my room. Actually my friends think its weird that I'm not concerned by the screaming in my corridor late at night, but seriously it happens all the time, the first few times I was actually worried, but now I've realised that its no big deal.
Yet I can't sleep if the tap in the toilet is dripping, or if my tap is dripping or worse, my neighbour's tap is dripping. For some reason the pipe's seem to amplify the dripping next door.
Also what is it with the hot water pipes, do they really have to hum whenever someone has a shower, or decides to wash their dishes in hot water!?!?
And lets not forget the thing that keeps us all awake (or at least should)....
…the beloved fire alarm (although a lot of people managea to sleep through this).
I really should get to bed, its late and I'm supposed to be studing tomorrow, but I guess one day I'll look at this and think, I was such an idiot. Night.
My first choice for accomodation was Rootes, and luckily for me I managed to get it and I have to say I love it here, its so wonderful, but I have to say the first few weeks were the best as wandering into other people's kitchens was acceptable and I managed to meet a lot of people this way.
However after telling my family that I was on the ground floor, my older sister who also studies here (but in another year) and also lived in Rootes (but in a different block to me), told me that all the drunks live on the ground floor. Well, time has lead me to see, that although this isn't necessarily true, as there are other things that people get up to on the ground floor. However, on the whole it is true. I remember on one of my first evenings here discussing what we had put on that accomodation form (which at the time I didn't take all that seriously). It turned out that most people put on their forms that they liked going out and having a good time, and no one had ticked that they wanted a quiet room.
I do remember not ticking the quiet room box. I wasn't that bothered coming from a large family where noise is not uncommon, instead rather comforting. I think, although I don't remember too much about this. That I put in the box about things that I like doing something along the lines of, I like meeting new people and having fun, or something like that. So that explained why I was here.
One good thing about where I am. I don't have to take luggage up or down stairs (and if you see the amount of stuff I have here you'll understand why), and I don't have to take my shopping from tescos up stairs. Also, my block is close to car park 2, making unpacking and packing easy.
However I did say there were problems. The main one being the window. Ok I love my room, in the morning there's always sunlight streaming in and I love the sun. However a problem that I have is the fact that as it's on the ground floor people can see what I'm doing. However, I am grateful for the net curtains, which I found out after being here for 2 terms and a bit actually stop people from seeing into your room (unless the lights are on in your room). However I spent the first part of the first term worrying if people could see into my room. After I realised that no one walked passed my room, I stopped worrying and I have been worry free till this term.
But you see this term is different. The weather is actually decent, so a lot of people decide to go outside and enjoy the weather and quite rightly so. However as I had relaxed towards the whole, they can't see me thing, and I didn't realise that people would be walking passed my room at all hours of the day, it came to be a bit of a shock when people would walk past my window.
It actually makes me jump when someone walks past and as I have become rather careless in my room, sometimes I find myself thinking crap, why didn't I close the curtains first.
However, after finding that no one can see into my room unless the lights are on, I have taken to keeping the lights off during the day, and closing the curtains at night.
So problem solved.
I love going out, I think that's one of the main reasons I came to uni. Seeing as I really didn't go out much (OK, not at all) back home. So if someone invites me out, it is very rare that you will hear me say no.
So when I was invited out by the people on my corridor, I immediately said yes. However when Saturday came and they realised that no one other that people from our floor were going, they decided that they'd rather stay in. But by this time I had already psyched myself up and bought a ticket.
So I did the only thing that I could think of, I went out.
Lets make this clear, this is not the first time that I have been out alone at university. I have done this quite a few times, and often I have been lucky enough to meet people that I know and spend the night out with them.
My worst night out alone was a latin night, I turned up hoping there'd be people that I knew, but unfortunately for me, there was no one I knew and very few first years. Seeing as I am unable to drag any of my friends out to latin night, I have not been to one since.
However tonight I was rather dubious about going out alone, as I was expecting most of the people I know to stay in and study. I decided not to go too early, knowing from last weeks experience at boogie nights that they'd be very few people there till later on in the evening.
Around 11pm I was just about ready to chicken out, everyone from my floor was going to bed and I was the only one crazy enough to comtemplate going out in the torrential downpour.
Not only did I have to worry about who'd be there or not be there when I arrived at the union, I'd also have to worry of protection myself from undoubtabll soaking on the way there.
But I have friends online who are always capable of convincing me on doing the craziest of things, and they managed to convince me to go out, and I'm glad that they did, as I had a great time tonight.
First of all, just as I was about to leave the rain actually lightened up a bit and I was preparing to go out with a rather attractive bag on head ensemble. If any of you have tried this you'll know how awkard it can actually be.
But I was lucky, as I was walking towards the union I bumped into a friend who was walking back from the library, after a long day of studying. I was quick to notice the umbrella she was holding, and unfortunately I am not very shy about these things, I asked her if she would mind walking me to the union. I am glad that she did, as I had noticed on the short walk that I had made, that the bag I was using actually had holes in it and was not doign the job I had hoped it would.
So I was rambling on about how I was an absolute an utter loner, but she didn't mind.
So I arrived at the union, absolutely dry. Thankgoodness for small mercies.
The good thing about going alone is that often people don't think much of it, as you could just be going out to meet friends.
However no matter how many times I walked around the union, I couldn't spot a single person that I knew and I was starting to feel rather stupid for coming especially after I noticed that I was getting some weird looks. So I decided I'd do the only thing I could think of. I'd call some friends up and have a laugh at myself and I'd get a drink and watch the drunk (hopefully) people dancing (always entertaining).
So after I'd exhausted all the friends I could think of calling and having had 3 drinks by myself I wandered around a bit more. By this time the alcohol was starting to take effect and I wasn't feeling so dumb or stupid, I was feeling quite happy.
It was then that I introduced myself to a pair of girls. Thankgoodness that I'm not so shy. I got talking to them and after a while we went to dance.
And I have to say. I had a GREAT time.
It was such a nice night. No it wasn't the alcohol, even though that did help a bit. But it was a really nice night, as I'd managed to meet new people that were nice and didn't mind including me.
I have often been out and tried to be friendly to people, but often people rebuke you, so it is nice to meet people that are willing to accept a complete stranger, even one who is out alone.
So is there any point to this story. Well, not really. I just want to say that if you want to go out and no one else wants to go out. What's stopping you. It's never stopped me. But perhaps you don't really want to follow my example.
But as long as you're open minded and friendly most people will accept you, and if you're lucky you can make new friends. I'm sorry that fewer people seem to be as kind or as welcoming as the two girls I met tonight. And if you're reading this, thankyou so much. I had a really nice night out.
Am I going to stop going out alone. Well the short answer would be no. But in reality it depends on the night, the amount of work I have to do (it's never stopped me before) and most importantly the risks involved, as a lone girl out alone isn't the safest thing to do. But while I live on campus and I dont' get drunk its fine going out as long as I make it back to mine as soon as possilble and as long as you have people out there who are looking out for you and make sure you get back. Thank's Nic, although I'm sure that you didn't stay up this later just to make sure I got back alright.
Anyway that's all for now. Night night.
If I can't sleep I'm sure I'll add more.
May 21, 2005
the apple fell far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
i like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
she takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invincible
tormented dreams she stays awake
This is the chorus from Beautiful by Scarling.
What's my point for putting them up. Well what i've noticed from my conversations with people at uni, this uni and other unis, is that we often feel very alone and we often lack that ever so important thing, confidence. So I've found that the thing that a lot of people turn to is music. I know that music is something that I turn to, if I'm down, if I'm happy, or just feeling plain crazy.
I have very weird music tastes (apparently), because System of a Down and Britney Spears aren't often found on the same playlists.
But going back to my original topic. At uni I think that most people feel down and alone from time to time and we all just want to wrap up in a cocoon and protect ourselves, or we want someone there for us. But the thing is, there is always someone there for us, but we never realise it. And no matter how you are feeling, other people have and will feel the same as you. What other reason is there for music touching so many people, often we can see a part of ourselves in the music.
So we should always enjoy music and respect other people's musical tastes, even if they are a bit strange.
A bit random I know, and not much substance or meaning behind this blog, but oh well.
she's empty and so beautiful
i'll keep her here with me