November 20, 2007

Glade Festival 20th–22nd of July


Ooh now this was fun to the power of mad. Karim and I headed out from Paddington with giant, carnival, lightup beanpoles under our arms and we met another Glader before even getting to the platform for the train to a secret location in Newbury. We hung around for a wee while before getting on a red double-decker bus with some other Oxfam fellows. It was a funky bus ride, the skies were clear & blue (!!!) and there was a drum and a sax with proficient people attached to them providing a perfect soundtrack to the journey into what was to be our home for the next few days.

fun guage

We set up camp in the Oxfam site, which was just a wee walk away from the main arena. They had a great diner called the knifey-spoony which became the common room during the rain disasters. The day we arrived the sun was shining and the sky was blue. We set up camp where we found some smiley young people and some space that looked like it was being saved especially for us (next to a little stream). The smiley people turned out to be smiley, friendly, fun, amazing people, namely; Joel, Yara, India Hannah and some other lovely fellows.

India & Al

karim up a tree

We all went for a wander around the quite magical site (it’s quite a small festival, relatively) we contemplated climbing a tree, looked at the shapes in the surprisingly small clouds and I found some wire which I thought would be good for some fun sculpture, which became a sculpture that I wore as part of my headdress for the duration of the festival, it was simultaneously ridiculous and awe-inspiring if you ask my opinion. It also came in handy for giving directions as it was basically a bouncy gauge and arrows on a spring that floated above me and helped people spot me from a distance.


We were camping next to the Knifey Spoony which was excellent for convenience but there was 24 hour music blasting from it, which wasn’t so bad until a full ABBA album came on twice in a row to flip you out. On the first day I woke up and sleepily thought I’d take the day on in a bumbling unaware kind of way (my usual operating default) but the Knifey Spoony played the Orbital remix of the Doctor Who theme tune, so I threw on my boots and I was in there within the first 2 bars! It was great as it may be the only place on earth where dancing full-pelt before breakfast isn’t seen as strange at all. A great start to a great festival.


We worked pretty hard and on the night before the festival I helped put up giant inflatable lights inside the Knifey Spoony which was good as we spent the night in there huddled on the big cushions in the corner as it was raining so hard that even the short walk back to the tent seemed like too arduous an endeavour to contemplate. Then there was the worry that when we got there our tents would be flooded anyway. We packed a bag each of valuables and Karim kindly packed our sleeping stuff into bin bags as everyone worried that the river to the side of us was going to burst it’s banks as it had some 3 meters further down stream of where we were. The Knifey Spooney didn’t survive too well what with everyone traipsing in and out but we had hot water on tap (except when one pillock unplugged the boiling vats to charge their phone). One hairy moment came when I was holding a ladder for the guy who was running the diner who had put this massive ladder up against the roof strut to hang netting to prettify the place, but he hadn’t secured the end properly so the top came out and from over half way up he came flying down luckily missing metal poles, tables and chairs and rolled safely onto the soft ground a big guy who was helping out caught the ladder from underneath and helped steady this manic descent and stop the ladder crashing into people who were coming in and out. But luckily everyone was ok and we had proved once and for all that it could have been unlucky to walk under ladders.
I did my usual and spent a fair bit of time blowing bubbles but was unable to mix a satisfactory bubble mix from their ecologic washing liquid.


One of the people who camped in our little village who we met in Paddington was called Sarah. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately considering the weather conditions) she felt ill and left before the first proper day. She left us a lovely note and texted us to see how we were after new of the weather spread but in my stupor I didn’t realise it was from her. On the train in we also made pals with a girl called Katy who was also a fan of Planet Angel and who had recently shorn off her dreadlocks and now had a reasonably cold head, but it still looked cool. I mentioned how I had been trying to persuade Becky to shave her head and how her bonce proved to me how viable a look it really is.

After a bit of fire safety training and a wee chat from the OXbox team Karim and mine’s first shift was on the first afternoon and we were to point people in the direction of one campsite or another or in the direction of the campsite. We were pretty clueless as we hadn’t fully got to grips with the lay of the land and it looked like one of the roads was going to need sealing off. It was fun tho and intermittently sunny. A lot of people were hiking through flooded villages and airforce bases with all their tents and clobber about their persons to reach the festival and always looked particularly depressed as we directed them towards a gate to get wristbands that was another quarter of an hour away on foot. But it was pleasant and we went back to camp for a wee chill and to prep for the night ahead when our shift finished.


And by the night it was good banter time! Mud abounded, I was astounded. And I didn’t fall over once! Yay! The Dunkirk spirit was alive and well. The best place for chilling and dancing that Karim and I found was a chai walla’s. It was funking all over the place and sadly the ID Spiral was a slippy, ill-lit hill, so we didn’t hang around there too long.


And so it went, we watched the skies for signs of reprieve, we got into quandaries as to whether to encourage Will, Em and Foxy to join us as we were getting minute by minute reports of site closure over our radios. We relied on cups of tea to keep going and the fantastic atmosphere and smiley people to buoy our spirits. One highlight was figuring that there was a plug point that wasn't being used so i asked the guy who ran the Knifeyspoony for a multiplug and i hooked it up, felt like a hero and had my phone back online!

The guys decided to come despite work and the weather which was great! I’m glad they didn’t scrap their tickets and they had a really good time raving it up in this oh so unusual of raving environments.
Our shifts were 8 hours long, which was a bit of a shitter. My second shift started out well, just stewarding a massive tent with very few people in it, bubbles coming out every so often and a VJ making nice visuals; so for the first few hours I was grooving away with my hat on. But as the day went on it became bussier and rainier and we were at the bottom of a hill, thus at the foot of a mudslide, which was made psychologically nasty by the fact we were down stream of a bunch of porta-loos. One delightfully had the helpful hint: “Get involved, or Fuck off” written in mud, later the one next to it had they handy rhyme; “Up the Bum; No Harm Done” written in a similar style.

                                muddy toilet

So as people were filing down the hill for an evening’s music and frolics they were taking a lot of mud down with them. So we were advised to keep people from using the most convenient door, but we had to keep it open as it was a fire exit. This was HARD! We build a little sluice gate to re-channel the mud around to the back of the stage and a fair few people ignored my pleas and airport landing style hand instructions. I tried putting up some duct tape to indicate the doors closure but that proved too ignorable. One fellow even accused me of getting off on the power of the situation, which was a bit of a nonsense as it was a power I would have given up in an instant had someone wanted to replace me or if I thought the mud would be better for everyone in than out. Lots of people were smiley enough when I explained the situation and pointed out the brown river and the special circumstances. Foxy was particularly sympathetic and the guys were around for moral support. Later a security guy came around and relieved me for a bit while I pushed the mud around with my feet to clear the sluice. My goretex boots were no match for the above ankle height mud. As I was slushing the mud about I realised there were lots of electric cables sitting in mud and around dripping tent-flaps. I couldn’t get the scene from the start of the film “King Ralph” starring John Goodman out of my mind and I saw everyone getting electrocuted in my minds eye.

At this point came my vision of 2 potential Al’s. One was this security guard and one was a tie-dyed shirt wearing dancer. Both guys had similar physical characteristics to me. Blonde & tallish. The guard had dreadlocks and the dancer had longish hair and a goatee. But they were, in my exhausted mind, opposite ends of a potentiality spectrum. I felt I was staring at a physical manifestation of my choices I could be a quite scary, tall, loud authority figure (he was a nice enough guy but he also had these attributes) or a fun loving (potentially off his head) observer of a rubbish situation, unable/unwilling to pitch in and help, just watching it unfold and oddly dancing by himself in a muddy field. The guard also had some nasty facial burns which haunted me as I sloshed through the mud staring at the cables hanging in the mud.
In the end I decided that I was treading a happy medium and being true to myself, helping where I could and making the most of it as I did, raising my concerns with those who could do something about it and taking on tasks that I felt I could help directly with. In the end they were just 2 more of the multifarious nice people I met briefly over the weekend and they were just good fodder for my overactive mind to chew over. The last act of that shift ,which took a lot out of me, was sliding over to the back of the tent to lift a piece of redundant pathway, with the help of some nice people in a tent who had a knife and a bunch of randoms who helped me move the heavy bugger, up the hill a wee ways. We used it as a better sluice and people blocker, as my shift ended I let out the biggest sigh and went for a wee snack, recupperation and to meet up with the guys back at the camp. I didn't have long until my next shift which I had to cram in before I headed off.

It was another shift was fun as Karim and I were together again and we brought some sneaky beers and glowsticks and were in a quiet little ally quite late at night. Joel and the gals from our little village bopped down with us and we hung out for a wee bit and had some snacks in the style of a 7 year olds birthday (except with sneaky beers). Karim and I had the same supervisor a couple of times called Joe who was a pretty laid back chatty guy. Forever smiling and yet he looked proper whacked most of the time. Our 8 hour shifts were nothing on the 12+ hours they were working. He came along and hung out with us for a little bit. Then the guys dissapated and Karim and I decided to line a dark pathway we were stewarding with the glowsticks. It looked  very pretty and we even tied two sticks together and threw them back and forth between us until they got caught on the branch of a tree so that they looked like a glowstick chandelier. People loved our pathway and through the night the sticks hanging down the side of this leafy path were taken by other lovely party people, all except from the ones hanging from the canope.            Later I sat down and did some reading (I'd brought Charles Handy The Empty Raincoat, which was an ironic title to be reading at this festival) and dosed as people passed returning to bed. 

Before I left I put a scary fairy I made with twigs and such on one shift in Joel and Yara's tent as a farewell present. I hope they appreciated it. ;o)

scary fairy

My journey home was tricky, Karim and I packed up the tent as I had to leave a day early for another one day turn around to go to Portugal (as the flight was riddico-a-clock on the Monday). Karim went and stayed with the other guys on the main camp. And I said my goodbyes and trudged off down the hill towards where I heard buses were leaving from (it was such a round about way of getting on a bus) and I decided that as my boots were mud filled it would be best to wear my sandals. Wrong, they acted like flippers and squelched into the mud and got sucked off my feet several times, leaving me to flounder with my rucksack, on one leg trying to pull it out of the thick thick mud. I had to go bare foot for some of the way out of pure dersperation, a method of travelling festival grounds I usually frown upon. When I got to the bus I had a chance to rinse my feet off and roll down my trousers and suddenly I didn’t feel quite so grimy. I even went so far as putting on some socks under my sandals when they had dried off a bit.
It was a fairly pleasant ride home and I was filled with a warm glow of a weekend well spent, making friends and partying with friends old and new and strangers and hard graft and biblical rain and sunshine and smiles and hot food and team work and cups of tea. Nothing better!

p.s. check out his video to see how ridiculous the rain really was:


October 09, 2007

Serbia 9th–16th July & Exit Festival


Serbia as I’ve been telling everyone was mental. I cannot believe we fit in so much adventure and madness into one week. I made good new friends and solidified old friendships. I flew out on my own and met the guys in Budapest airport where they have a flower dispenser like we would have a coke machine. Also I had a stop over in Milan and ate a pizza slice, when in Rome as they say.

Ben and I went straight to Fred’s and the others came with us on the train from Budapest (where it was raining a shitstorm) but went on for a night in Belgrade, I lost my ticket between the ticket office and the platform when we ran for no good reason. We piled onto the train, shoving anyone who stood in the way only to give up and run further along the train when we realised they were extending the train. It was a quiet night’s travelling and Ben the asthmatic smoker revelled in the smoking carriage and made new pals and we watched some doctor who on my media player. When the guards came around (which happened twice)

Nick and James on the train

That first day and night at Fred’s were lovely, not so sunny but we watched News Knight with Trevor McDonald (Fred having been bereft of English TV for a while) and in the evening we chilled with one of Fred’s cousins (Bobbie) and one of his friends and played pool for hours which was great stuff indeed. We also had some lovely Burgers from "UFO Burger".


On my birthday we got up earlyish and the boys went out into town as I slept a little longer and they came back with a delightful selection of tat from a Chinese import shop including a vicious looking set of nun-chucks, 2 bbguns with laser sights, wee plastic army soldiers (good for shooting with the guns, I was later told shooting friends wasn’t the done thing), a great LED torch, spinning tops, a camouflage cowboy hat, a teddy-bear that sings the most terrifying ditty you could imagine when you attempt to move it, and all kinds of good stuff. The day was very chilled out and Fred’s cousin Robbie came around and cooked up the most delicious Goulash (spelt in Hungarian: székelygulyás) over on open fire and all of Fred’s cousins and local friends came round and we had such a great party. I almost slipped at the first hurdle in attempting to bring up both politics and religion having consumed more (delicious) homemade shnapps than I’ve ever seen before. As the words came out of my mouth I realised that it could be dangerous to ask “so this is a catholic country, you’re catholic, but do you believe the pope talks with god?”. Fortunately the youth of the lovely Hungarian minority village Temerin ( seemed to be clued into the fact that many of these beliefs were socially constructed, Fred’s cousin replied “No I’m just catholic because my parents are” which made me think, I’m liberal, atheist because my parents are, and because I’ve never been presented with a seemingly better alternative.


The boys all arrived from Belgrade later in the night and got stuck into the food and shnapps. James Howard was particularly eager and before he even said hello or happy birthday was working on catching up and he steadily became more and more inebriated, perhaps he hadn’t had enough goulash. Before I had really had a chance to finish my goulash out came cake, and Toby and James Almuli and a Hungarian fellow who I thought looked a fair bit like Warwick’s own Pip Woolly were trying to force me to eat cake goulash and shnapps at the same time, so with the sting of shnapps, a corner of trotter and creamy cake in my mouth I knew I was destined to chunder, which I did later, into a bowl.

Tobes cake retaliation

The end of the night was a messy affair with one of our number apparently peeing in the corner of a room (granted a room with no door) and I chased James Almuli into the room with all the mattresses on the floor only to find him attempting to teabag the paralytic James Howard and after shouting a warning along the lines of “Leave him alone or I’ll kick you in the balls, I’ll stamp on your nuts” I went on to stamp on James’ head which enraged the drunken beast.

the guys

dancing 2

smoking a birthday cigar!

hold him up!

The next day there was a flurry of hangovers and watermelon (man the local produce was the best ever! The tomatoes tasted like tomatoes should). The bulk of the group went with Fred and his family to meet the dignitaries of the town while Ben and I stayed at home to make sure James was ok (and to have a nap in a real bed). We woke to a telephone call telling us that we must come urgently, this call we managed to ignore twice but on the third we were informed that they were sending big Paulie (Bobbie’s dad) in a car for us. When we arrived we saw the most amazing sight. A packed trestle table in the middle of a traditional restaurant surrounded by the various members of our party, drinking local shnapps and generally enjoying the frivolity of the day and the hospitality of the local big-wigs. We were with Fred’s relatives the mayor an interviewer from the local paper, big names in the courts and shnapps factory. Total excitement. We went outside to have a group photo taken for the paper and when we returned we were presented with massive platters of meat on to of chips and local salad-stuffs, more shnapps and speeches by the mayor and one in return (translated by our language monkey Fred) by Ben, extolling the unexpected and wholly welcome generosity.

The Temerin express

Ben and pal

Then later that day we headed by bus to the festival itself in Novi Sad. My god was it unlike anything else. Before we headed in we took in the exterior of this massive 17th century fort on a hill ( and I for the only time during the weekend caught up with my pal Simon Bennet, we met only for a moment before we laid siege to the fort in our separate groups. As we approached we saw what was going on. There were thousands of people trying to get in through a gap a person and a half wide. It was a crush of epic proportions. A bundle if you will, everyone was trying to get in for Prodigy and no one was checking tickets or passports and women were being elbowed, people were trying to stay with or find other people. Cars sat stationary trying to get through (one may have been an ambulance) pumping exhaust fumes into the immobile crowd. Toby was having no fun and no air as he was below average shoulder/elbow height, we attempted as best we could to form a Roman style tortoise shield around him but it had little effect. At one point my hand got caught between the two people in front of me and in one terrifying surge I was dragged forward by the wrist my feet almost off the ground. We basically fell up the hill as the local police/security looked on mildly amused/bemused by the whole affair. I had decided that today would be a good day (as it was warm) to wear sandals. I may have been mistaken.

When we got in we moved (as a masse) almost straight away into the main arena and after a few minutes Prodigy started. We decided if you can’t beat the crowd join them, and mosh and that way you get to beat them, as it were. We rocked out pretty hard to all the classics.          <- Copy and paste this for a link to video from the Prodigy gig

They slowed it down every 6 minutes or so which allowed the crowd to find their feet again and throughout we were all parched having been unable to get to a bar or sort out the deal with the coupon system. We begged water of people around us and some were kind enough to send us sips of beer. Ben drank some water that the offerer said was acid and towards the end of the gig he began feeling pretty sketchy. His lips began burning and we had no water so after we went to sit down as the throngs filed out. We felt totally lost and the lighting was bad, we eventually found some water and Fred and Ben went back by taxi. The rest of us took in the full extent of the event ending up in the main dance arena (which was reminiscent of a gladiatorial arena) which was to become our staple stomping grounds. We hung out with some of the guys from Temerin and after the night we headed over the river and chilled for a bit on the beach on the Danube by the campsite. A lovely spot. We heard rumours of 2 deaths in the crush at Prodigy but I have yet to have this substantiated and have searched online to find out if that was true. Hey ho I may never know.

Dance arena

After that the days and nights begin blurring into a massive adrenalin fuelled banter session. When we got back all of the designated sleeping rooms were more or less occupied by smelly boys so I decided to crash out outside in the sun in my sleeping bag. When I woke up Fred’s mum had arrived with some builders who had been booked to fix doors to all the rooms. I waved and rolled over. We had been invited to a shnapps factory before midday but that was very unlikely and unappealing. It was said that the tradition was that men would have a shot of the stuff before commencing with the day so I expect it was to test our manlihoods but how could that be in question when you looked at us. Especially the red-blooded Andrew Shaw. I put this theory to the test one of the later days as Big Paulie was trying to ply me with an unmarked bottle of the stuff. I challenged him to drink it and when he pleaded hospitality I tasted it and then forced him to tasted it by enquiring what fruit was used to make it. He then bumbled off on his little motorbike (which he drove into the wee courtyard like a mix between a hells angel and a clown on a diddy-bike). One of the things I learned about Serbia was that when driving there is no need for the two S’s: Seatbelts and Sobriety.

whatta gang

Also Serbian love taking photos of ethnic people, in our party Deji got so many photos taken of him and did nothing to deter the novelty hunters by dressing as Nu-Rave as they come; with de-glow sunglasses, a girl; Nana, joined our merry band by the speakers to the right of the stage also got snapped to death which led to what I consider an hilarious story involving a mashed football-loving Serbian and the translation of this well know adage/poem:

Find a penny

Pick it up

And all day

You’ll have good luck.

Give a penny

To a friend

And your luck

Will never end.

If you want the long and boring version of the story just ask.

One day as we went to go into the fortress I stopped and started chatting to some local Serbian guys who were wanting to break in. I was going to try and help them but then thought about the horror stories of the security mistreating the tourists and even worse the locals so I chickened out. After I got in I caught up with Toby and he reassured me that it might be banter to give it a go. So I went back out and tried to track down my potential accomplices. The deal was that after having left there was no re-entry. I went around the side and scoped the scene, I followed some guys who said they had done it previously, we got caught in brambles and scurried through cornfields and came up to the wall that was lit from one side so that the security standing on point could see people attempting to scale this massive wall to get up to a small fence. At the end of this bank was an exit that came out behind the entrance gates so I walked out as if going out then I sat down to send a text got up as a car drove past and went in. I wasn’t able to meet the guys I had been chatting to but the guys said they’d meet me afterward. When I came out (before the London guys had stopped dancing) I met the 2 guys Alex and Slyer and went on a mini tour of Novi Sad I was hankering for an ice tea. We chatted about politics, the disparity between the affluence and the poverty, the drug problem in the city, the history of EXIT festival and how it is now, the police, literature, graphic novels, shamanism and the karma of the Danube. They were very interesting and bucked every stereotype and prejudice of the Serbians that I had been exposed to gradually over my visit. The issues surrounding race were so overt and interesting, for example the Serbians at the festival kept photographing the black people there, elephant man style, the Hungarian TV that came to Fred’s to interview us asked outright if we were able to wake the black member of our party (not to interview him you understand, well he was in his pants but weird right?). Also a member of our party was part Serbian and apparently had a chilly reception from the Hungarians (granted I tried to kick him in the nuts but that was behaviour not race related). When I mentioned my new Serbian friends Fred’s mum surprised me by saying that they hated the Serbs. I understood that there is a lot of history there I didn’t know fully (not for lack of trying to understand) and that she and her family and community were directly affected by these huge political upheavals. But I pointedly said that she couldn’t hate all of the Serbs, she couldn’t hate the children; to which she responded that really she only hated their politicians, which I was happy to report was also the case for the Serbs I had met. They even told me of the massacre of Serbs in the frozen Danube during which many Hungarians risked their lives trying to save Serbs to whom they owed nothing. These were great guys, meeting young people from other cultures really made the trip for me. I hope to stay in contact with them over Skype etc.

Ben and horse and cart

Then came Goulash day mark 2: Fish

We all got on rented/borrowed minibuses and drove down to an offshoot of the Danube (I was in a car with Robbie his mate, Fred and Ben) it was hot and we napped on the way. When we got there the whole gang was there and there were tons of people cooking up mean goulash. It was sunny as and we all went for a little swim. I did some showing off and learned the word for a dive: “firash” or maybe they were taking the piss and that means splash. I also swam across this river which was quite wide with a rather strong current, I chased Ben and Rich who swam ahead. Once we got to the other side we had to go back up stream so as no to go too far down stream on our return. I chose to walk along the bank and the others splooshed through the silty water. I found an amazing walking staff and some logs that were rotting and hollow which made excellent floats to make the swim back less hassle. On the return leg I was worried about Ben as he’s an asthmatic smoker but he made it across alright.

The fish goulash was lovely and quite spicey, I invented a new drink; shnapps and ice tea which as I was loathe to finish it (that stuff is strong) I forced everyone to try, it became a game of have a sip pass it round.

I also offended one of our hosts by telling the only Scottish joke I know (I was prompted by the fact that every week their local newspaper makes jokes about our thrift) which ends by insulting lawyers (in fact saying that all lawyers go to hell) not realising that one of our uber generous hosts was a local lawyer. All the young’uns were banter, really happy to try hard to understand my mile a minute English, and all the girls were hotties.


Talking of hotties, after we got back from one night of debauchery that ended with us dancing heartily in the petrovian fortress as the sun came up and sweltering on the beach by the Danube we got back to the little farm house Fred’s mum was so kindly putting us up in and Robbie’s dad Paul was there and he enticed Jamie, Toby and myself to go to the swimming pool which had a natural warm bath in it, miming as we went it that it was the best place to shark on the local tottie. It was really nice and as it was hot it was full of local colour and life. We bumbled around in the pool and chilled in the warm bath then slept on the grass until chucking out and went back for more festivaling.

Another day when we got home Fred’s mum asked if Toby and I were hungry and said we should go to the local restaurant which we did, she helped us order and then left us to chat about the night before, how knackering and mental it all was and to eat fine soup and delicious lunch and rehydrate.

Saying good bye was quite an emotional affair, I made a card for Fred’s mum who couldn’t have been more welcoming and helpful, a few of the young’un came over and wished us well on our way as we all ran around like unprepared headless chickens getting our stuff packed up. I gave Paul a straw cowboy hat that the guys gave me for my birthday as I thought it would look cool on him as he cruised Temerin in his undersized motorbike and I gave Eniko my walking staff to look after as I really had wanted to take it home with me and couldn’t bear thinking that it would become firewood. We named it Sandy and I suggested that if someone attacked her she could wield it to defend herself. We bopped into a taxi and left for our final night. We got into a Taxi with the nicest guy who chatted to us all the way about life etc, telling us of the stigma the community labelled him with when he sent his son to America to avoid getting caught up in war and how he didn’t give a shit because he felt he saved his son, it was bloody touching and great once again to cross the cultural divide and really connect with the people we were around.

Tobes and myself fannied around before heading into the festival; having to dump our bags in storage behind the camping pen for the early morning departure. I then went and met the Serbian guys I had met and I tried to get them a free ticket by sneaking in. But it hadn’t worked so the other person they had tried to get in couldn’t. I felt bad as though I’d been dicking them around because I was later than I said I’d meet them and it took me ages to find my way back to the place on the hill that you needed to go to try and sneak in and I said that they might be able to get the tickets of those of us who had left the day previously but Fred fairly said that they should go to the Hungarians who had been so hospitable. For the rest of the night we hung out on and off as did Toby and I. I learned this night that one of them (Alex) was very well educated in all things religious/spiritual and was a fundamental Christian and when pressed on why this was he said it was because he was born into it which seemed to be a theme of what I learned out there. He also turned out to be a 6 time heroin addict. On the last night I briefly went down to the dance arena (by the speakers on the right) and was delighted to see that Ben had joined our merry band and I told him that I was so glad to see him there shaking his thang as from then on I could remember it as if he had been there every night!

Dancing into the morning8am dancing

So you may be wondering “what was the music like then?”. Well truth be told it was pretty excellent. The Prodigy rocked out that first night despite the discomfort. I really enjoyed the Beastie Boys despite die-hard fans winging about the didgeridoo ambient interludes, Mix Master Mike also totally tore it up with is solos. I missed Basement Jaxx but could hear them as I came up the hill which turned out to be lovely prep for the night. CSS rocked my socks off! I knew I wanted to see them again and I got a chance to at Reading, they were so bouncy and fun and didn’t let up for their whole set it was like seeing an orchestra or bubblegum blowers, toe-tappers and excitable children, on ecstasy! Pendulum was pretty lame but did rock out some nice ditties which were good for really throwing yourself into but I’d heard him before and was under whelmed by his set (granted last time I’d heard him we had to break for a fire alarm), but I got to rock out with Jon Lau which was a more than pleasant surprise. There was a great little reggae/dub section tucked away at the back of the fortress which appeared to be behind a little maze or one way systems and proper old-school tunnels. I’d have liked to have spent more time there and in the trance area and in the makeshift cinema but there was just so little time and everyone was jostling and it took and age to get most places. Ho hum. Also there was some lovely drum and base I sought out and the dance arena was variable but was mostly consistently fun. I particularly enjoyed the big thrills of Richie Hawtin and Roger Sanchez. I also enjoyed juggling my hackysacks there when the sun came up and handing out sun cream to the otherwise scuppered whiter than white Europeans. There was also some lovely little break beats stages dotted around various parts of the hill which were great if short lived fun.

The train ride home was like a sauna. It was packed and boiling and we stopped for ages at the passport checkpoints. It was hellish and 10 hours long. We found a semi air conditioned carriage and chilled there and I watched The Science of Sleep on my Archos with a randomer I found there while eating nuts (as we hadn’t properly provisioned for the journey) and almost falling asleep myself. We got the train with Toby’s good pal and ex-cls-er James Down and a few of his friends and to sum it up in 2 words I’d have to go with baking and uncomfortable. To get from Budapest to Budapest airport I found someone who was going my way on the train to get the cost down but we got a bit stiffed on the cost, travelling like this was certainly ridiculous and not really my style. Ooh look at me, hoity-toity jet setter! On the plane I kept up my friendliness (which in truth should have been swapped for sleepiness) and chatted away to the only person on my isle who was an accountant girl for ITV. She had just been at a Jazz festival which sounded interesting. We swapped music tastes with our respective players. My bag became suddenly very chocolaty as the jar of spread I had packed for the journey exploded. Shitsticks!

When I got into Heathrow there was the usual mission of getting my baggage (which funnily enough had 2 bbguns in it and a horrible set of knun-chucks/knife stick) I got onto a train that was to take me straight to Finsbury Park across London, I set and alarm in case of oversleeping but it was no use. I woke up in Southgate only a few stops past mine but it was the last train and my phone had died so I called my rents and checked the possibility of buses before deciding to get a taxi. Lame. But what a ram packed nut-so week. Great people and a great, unforgettable time.

Oh if anyone who was there remembers something I’ve forgotten please let me know.

July 06, 2007

So; Hamas, Alan Johnson, the mid–east problems and other belly laughs.

After the release of Alan Johnson I asked my girlfriend’s dad (who was a big wig in BBC radio news) if this meant that Hamas was suddenly a good thing. I realised as the words left my lips that this was simplifying the situation and had very little bearing on the complex reality of the situation outside of the media maelstrom. The response that I got was to be expected; to the effect that it was all complicated, internal Palestinian politics. Suddenly, through the media, I understand that our government’s relations with and diplomatic position towards Hamas is a hot topic. I hear it discussed on a special student edition of Newsnight (that is to be commended for tackling some very pertinent issues well) and I read about it on the BBC News website:
Although I know that the BBC is not considered entirely impartial (by either side of the debate) it just showed that these issues are being approached with the utmost seriousness but the establishment in this country.
One of the sticking points on Newsnight was that, unlike in Northern Ireland, we are not directly affected by the conflict. And yet the same people who say this say that in Iraq it was our duty to the stability of the world to intervene.
Well I think it’s pretty clear that the Palestinian people (who are not as a whole barbaric child murderers or anti-semites on a genocidal level, but are in fact normal people with hopes, dreams, desires and personal agency) are a very desperate people, a people so desperate that they are forced by circumstance to elect a known fundamentalist organisation into power, who they know is likely to be ignored by the international community.
This isn’t an issue of a basic occupation, it spreads like a cancer, both sides terrorising the other and any political group on either side not fighting to improve the world and people’s experiences on the ground but simply attempting to maintain their own power and control. The key is the right of return, a divine right claimed by Zionists but conferred to them by us the British, in that moment we lit the touch paper, even if in good faith. Also at issue is the right of return for the millions of Palestinian refugees and descendents of refugees who live in appalling conditions and who have been taken in, to some extent, by neighbours; which is why Lebanon’s infrastructure was dismantled and thousands of innocents were killed last year.

I read this section of the BBC article and believed the Aids metaphor was being spoken by a prominent member of Hamas, only on a second reading did I realised that this was an Isreali attempt to decipher the Hamas rhetoric:
“Speaking to the BBC on Thursday, the Israeli foreign ministry spokesman Mark Regev rejected the idea that Hamas was moving along a political track, had implicitly recognised the existence of Israel and would accept a Palestinian state standing alongside it.
He said that while he accepted the existence of Aids, he would still like to destroy it. In other words, Israel believes that Hamas – whatever it says for foreign consumption, is still out to kill Jews.”
But the solution in my opinion doesn’t require Hamas to recognise Israel at all, because ideally Hamas as an organisation would be phased out as the violent urges and desperate opinions that brought them to power are addressed. We only have to look into Israel itself to see that its constitution says it will treat all of its citizens fairly but when one looks at the statistics all one sees is endemic racism. Cancer is a far better analogy to my mind as cancer can be beaten if it hasn’t spread too far whereas Aids is a slow decline until total failure claims the victim. But in fighting cancer both sides have to fight the racism, the belief in the clash of civilisations and the subconscious apocalyptic hallucination that can so easily consume us en-masse.
If the 2-state solution is brought into practice in an attempt to stop oppression, save lives, and create stability in the region and the world; building a platform from which we can progress together as one species on one world, the cultural solution must be bi-national and simultaneously global.
I don’t want to speak for either side and be branded a lefty or a neocon, I only want to speak for myself and the people who are obliged to work for me through our supposed ‘ideal democracy’ and say that we must stop arms sales and pay our price for abandoning the people and their real and complicated issues so we could sit nostalgically on our island of splendid isolation. Perhaps that is the lesson we can learn from attacks on our soil rather than simply alienating our brothers and sisters, whatever their colour, their beliefs or their history through thoughtless, simplified 24-hour media and politics. We must speak out against our highly constructed climate of fear, fundamentalists and power clutching point scorers.

“Nah nah nah, we’re not listening” hasn’t cut it since we were six.

And then Tony Blair wades in and brings his healing hands to bear.
He’s trustworthy and shit:
“Reconciliation, reconciliation, reconciliation.”
Jingoistic cunt.

Wouldn’t the whole thing work out better if we took it out of the hands of the men of these countries and let the women have a go? Oh wait maybe we should test that here first. I forgot, politics is the art of avoiding hypocrisy.
Is it sexist to say they have a better understanding of what it means to lose a child? We don’t even need a God to tell us women are inferior, we have the remnants of a patriarchal and page 3.

Excuse any typos and points of unwieldy opinion or incorrect facts; I’m not much of a proof-reader or a politician. Actually, don’t excuse the incorrect facts, correct them. But allow me my typos. X x

June 26, 2007

fond farewells, many happy returns and any excuse for a knees up!

Here’s a quick catch up on recent happenings and fun and frolics from the end of my undergraduate days.

Here’s a round up of Thespy stuff I’ve been hitting of late:
The Lonesome West
I was involved in the creation of this fantastic set that hat 3 naturalistic walls and floor and was just dirtied up to precision. It really could have been some grumpy old man’s house in Gallway. And on top of all that it had a pond slap bang in the middle of the stage. The people from the National Student Drama Festival commended the creation of an entire world and that was really done by the actors and the director but I like to think I was there to back them up, and cheers to everyone who’s said kind words & compliments about the whole shybang! I had a great time back stage with Jack Cole and the rest making the props and tweeking it to perfection. Well done everyone involved, it rocked!

Little Thorns
I did some filming and now this show is on I’m operating the live video installations with the shows producer Roz. It’s mental and it keeps crashing mid-show but is quite fun and I’m sure it looks great from the audience perspective.

The Memory of Water
I was on Becky’s submission for the studio slot for this excellent and funny play which would have given the female actors at warwick a chance to strut their stuff and show their metle in the studio but we were pipped to the post by a couple of other plays. I think we had a great submission with everyone involved showing ideas were already firing in a very real way but who can say, we missed it and thus we must cut all ties with the thesp world forever! I’ll be a Quizling no longer!

No Exit review
This is the only piece of theatre I’ve seen so far at WSAF (well it was the first day). It’s a play by Jean-Paul Satre and boy does it show. It’s kind of a cliché premise now but it really hit the mark on several occasions. I was really drawn to the show by the advertising which had the actors staring out at you with creepy blacked out eyes. Oddly they managed to replicate this on the stage, maybe odd top lighting or something, who can say. I was a little worried as I had previously been under whelmed by performances by one of the actors but she really pulled her socks up and kept up the intensity and completely failed to ham it up. I was quite tired and the lack of a vibrant set or masses of movement in the direction found me slipping off now and again, but on the whole it was ace and really conveyed hell nicely. Or hellishly to be fair. Well done all!

Films start screening tomorrow so here’s the film news from mini screen west midlands, i.e. me:
Tomorrow there’s a screening of Aerials and St. Valentines at the arts centre as part of WSAF. There’s a couple of other films I wanna see so I’ll probably arrive a bit early to catch’em. I designed and printed some posters (although they’re factually inaccurate). It was the best WSAF balls up yet! I asked for 6 A3 posters and 12 A4 but they gave me 18 A3 ones for the same price! Yay! Lucky I went to the copyshop late when the guy behind the counter was knackered!! I put a bunch up and they are even in the arts centre behind glass and everything! Oh and they’re good movies too. And I’m very glad to have helped out on both in various little roles!

I got drafted in last minute to act in Pete Lefort’s Warwick Shootout entry on Saturday. It was a blast, I played an evil angel type character opposite a lovely guy called Stu. We were lucky enough to be awarded 2 gongs for direction and in camera editing! We were chuffed and had a great time at the ceremony as there were drinks and nibbles and the other movies were brilliant top. Especially my course mate Johnny’s “Into the Koan” I think that’s what it was called, it was spectacular! The judges were really quite big names, ex-alumni who are in the industry. I was especially impressed by a judge called Paul who write what was my one time bible “the pocket guide to filming on a micro budget”. Great day and cheers Pete for thinking of me.

Random stuff:
Tonight I played a little poker at james howard’s. It was a fiver buy in and in an attempt to stay with the big boys I was out rather quickly. But fun as ever,
Bex redhead
Becky’s been rocking away at WSAF fighting the weather which is trying to blow the festival down but all of the events seem to be carrying themselves nicely on their own steam and she seems to be having fun on the walkie-talkies and hanging with the techies ;o) I’d do the same I guess. Roger roger. Over.

Last night I popped into the Folk Society Calleigh. Proper folk music and a great way to shake a leg. I hypothesize that it was a dance designed before it was alright to have same sex relations.

Here’s some stuff I hope to see at WSAF:
Belly Dance (for obvious reasons)
Other films tomorrow
Cymbeline (which I will try and do a little video editing for but time is running out)
Comedy Sketch show (Which I’ve been asked to film, no rest for the wicked huh?)
The Happening (that name just fills me with joy, if it’s sunny it’s bound to be banter)

I attempted a Stop the arms trade campaign but I did it alone and only really gave it a bash after a goggleless trip to the pool so my demonic red eye scared a fair few people of I believe. It is an attempt to be revived as we need to stop the corrupt BAE systems and break their links to the cow-towing government!

Here’s some sweet stuff that’s been going down that fits nicely under the misc category:
Plenty of BBQ’s
The Final Fling, which had it all, hellacious rides (inc a hardcore waltzer) wicked fireworks, loads of buddies and mud. Oh and banter galore. Watch out for Fred’s wicked article in the Boar on going out that has an ace review of the night.

I’m eagerly anticipating my results and wine that come with them on Thursday. Bex gets hers tomorrow but it should be proper lovely and anyone who hasn’t got what they want can drown their sorrows ;o)

The Leamington Peace festival was again the highlight of the Leamington calendar. They had a wishing tree that has previously been at Synergy raves. I got my first set of poi and it was generally very chilled. I even caught an 11’o’clock gig by course mates the young and the damned. They rocked the park and put a spring in my step for the rest of the day. I even got to do standard hippy stuff like sign petitions and eat vegetarian food!

Jake, Spatz, Guy et al threw a lovely party a few weeks back at theirs and it was a lovely night with lots of dancing as Wooly was spinning awesome track after awesome track!

Lou Bailey had a very dignified B-day and we finally got to see her new flat which is a proper penthouse beaute. We ate from her chocolate fountain (not like that! Urgh!¬) abd played on Ben’s x-Box (make something dirty from that you sicko!) lots of fun and G&T’s!
here’s a pic of Lou’s brillo parking!

I’m very sad to have missed the free Palestine demo in London a few weeks back but I really enjoyed a big ol’JollyRoger party I was at at the time. I also made a lovely visit to JW and Amy (bex’s harps mate) in Nottingham. Nice chilling and another BBQ. Top draw.
pirate bounty

bubbly bex

Oh and look who i bumped into in Nottingham: It’s only partick sullivan! Oh CLS boys get everywhere!
patrick in notts

Doc.Who has been hotting up! I’ve not yet seen all of sound of drums but it looks ace! And the master’s return has been amazing! He’s so callous and John Simm’s portrayal is fantastic! Having read in the radio times and elsewhere that the episode Utopia, with slavering cannibals and Derek Jacobi and the return of captain Jack was clunky I was very pleasantly surprised and shocked by utopia which kept ratcheting up the tension from the first instant! I;’m contemplating going on the gay pride march in London on satuday as they’re gonna have it on a big screen in traf sq. and John Barrowman’s gonna be there too! Maybe I’ll just curl up at home for it. Sounds more plausible.

The one sad thing about this week is that Simon was unable to come up, and I’m sure he’dve had a good time but I may have a been a bit run off my feet to give him the appropriate attention. Anyway I think I shall be seeing him soon for national Awiesu day on the 1st and there’s always next year for visits.

He’s a wee run down of my somewhat over packed Summer festivals and fun plans:
Exit – over in Serbia in a extreme fort on a hill. This will be with all the best guys from uni (more or less ;o) and looks like it’s shaping up to be a great festival over four days. I’ll be arriving a few days early so there should be a chance to take in some culture too before whirl-winding back to the UK for more music festivals.
I’ve got a place stewarding Glade which will be a new experience. Karim will be stewarding too which will be fun. It will be a completely different kind of festival to any I’ve been to before as it’s a dance festival but I’m hoping that stewarding will be very much like being a Planet Angel angel. All smiling and making sure everyone’s having fun.
Reading is still sadly only in the hopefully stages. Bex and I have applied to work a beer tent for campaign against the arms trade, which would make the event affordable and would likely be top banter. And it’s giving something back, aww.

I think I’ll be going to France during the first week of August with A/V which promises to be lovely.
Having Becky living with me in London should be a lot of fun if last year’s anything to go by.
I shall be doing work of some description, at home or creative or for big bucks. I hope to do a few redrafts on my plays to get them to a performable standard for next year.
Camping in Portugal and having general banter with Bex’s Harpenden mates should be another highlight. I’m looking forward to finally hitting the beach with Bex and I hope the water’s warm enough to swim in.
I’m thinking of getting a neck piercing this summer. A bar through the back of the neck, it’s the only piercing that when I first saw it I thought that’s totally awesome and still do (cept of course all of Becky’s). Bex said she would get me one as a birthday present, it’d be jokes!
I hope I’m also able to squeeze in a wee visit to Devon. I miss those lovely folk and Devon is a really pretty place in the height of summer.
I’ve got a massive pack and tidy up ahead, before I leave on Friday. My lovely papa is coming up and we’re going to try and squeeze all my junk into the car. I think I ought to grab a bunch of stuff to take into the Oxfam! Save a little space! It’ll be a challenge but we’ll give it a go!

Here’s a rough plan for the things I want to do and achieve in my next academic year:
-Try out putting on written plays, get a wide breath of media experiences.
-Refine where I want to go from there. Including colluding with ex warwick people like James Sanderson and Mark Tan whose film I was in in the first year and who now is making movies.
-Salsa dancing/rock climbing.
- more to come!

K that’s just a wee round up and I’ll add photos as necessary and try and tag all the people mentioned in this note of Facebook. Isn’t self surveillance great ;o)

This week has been pretty tough and is going to get tougher as the business of goodbyes becomes more than the elephant in the room. It’s lucky everyone is ignoring the weather and keeping things rolling as dust settles only to be disturbed and redistributed again. Much love to every single person I’ve met here and safe journeying to everyone, I’m so grateful for sharing this stage of life with so many wonderfilling people.

May 16, 2007

This is your time, this is your place

This is going to be another one of those long meandering posts with lots of random thoughts, rants and banal and not so banal details from my life. For ease of comprehension I’ll warn you it is roughly written in backwards chronology.

Why is a police operation to stop gun crime in the black community called Trident? It has nothing to do with water. At least our nuclear submarines are submarines. I reckon it’s to deflect people who oppose Trident, to put us off the scent. “you can’t oppose our efforts to reduce gun crime surely you liberal panzys!”.
The press are generally annoying bullshitters with F-ed up priorities. You may soon be able to read Nicola Cutcher’s very interesting article on this topic at:

Tony Blair’s resignation was effectively used to bury news and they were telling us what we already knew anyway, we’d be under a different brand by the end of the year. I wonder what they were trying to bury? £1 billion?

There’s an interesting looking film on at the arts centre on Saturday the 26th called “Taking Liberties since 1997” which is about New Labour’s erosion of civil liberties (a subject close to my heart), it will also have a talk/Q/A by the director who used to go to warwick, I’m going to try some networking and see if I can get some work experience for the summer and beyond. It’s near my exams (on the 29th and 31st but it seems too good/important to miss).

revision is going alright, I’ve narrowed down what I want to study and it therefore has become quite enjoyable but it is still quite hard to apply myself to revision as it is so much different to the kind of work required for a research essay or play writing or straight up mise-en-scene textual analysis. But I’ve factored in enough time I think and have got a pretty good revision plan in front of me.

I’m currently uploading photos onto facebook, ahh distractions distractions. Revision is going well and I just got back an essay I thought I ballsed up and it came back much better than expected. It take the weight off a little.
Mad excited to have got my MA place: Creative and Media Enterprises! It’ll be a really good way to round off my time here, I want to do a lot to make it feel like a fresh start. When I went for the interview the guy who runs it gave a great talk outlining the course in more detail and in chatting to some current students it became apparent the course was ideal for me, a great lead on from this course and a perfect segue into the creative world.

Summer is shaping up nicely, I’ve got a bunch of Festivals in the works, there’s National Aweisu day in Epping forest which is really exciting, potentially work at Glasto, the biggest festival around, Bex and I are hoping to work a beer tent for the campaign against the arms trade. I’m applying to steward Glade, I’m going to Portugal and there may or may not be a beach rave which would be banter, I’m going to EXIT fest in Serbia which has an excellent line up and a bunch of the bestest lads from uni are going along to party hearty in an old fort on a hill overlooking the city of Novi Sad. Unfortunately it means I’ll be out of the country on my B-day and more importantly on the Planet Angel closest to my B-day but I hope I’ll be around to help out with the August one instead, rigging perhaps or some other role. Hopefully I’ll also be able to get away to France with the parentals where we will be celebrating Bretagne cuisine and tradition, hopefully there will be a nice farmers festival and BBQ and I hope I can get JDubs to come along even though they’re going out just afore his b-day. Either way I’m trying to pack this summer to the brim with friends, music, sun, beaches and banter! It’s pretty much guaranteed banter as Bex will be staying with me in London for around a month whist working with Jane the theatre agents. I too must look into padding out the summer months with some revenue making if I’m to survive the festivals on more than hotdogs and will power and hopefully have some cash stashed for the upcoming MA.

This term has been good so far, odd and unlike any other before which is as it should be. I handed in a 5000 word essay I was pretty happy. I handed in my writing for performance portfolio and we did a rehearsed reading of some bits. I wish we had had stricter deadlines so I could have drafted and redrafted more without leaving some redrafting for the last minute but I was overall pleased with the result and have given it to a mate who has a space in the arts festival but no play. I hope he likes it but we shall see. Before we began lockdown Bex and I went to London for one last rave-up. It was another spectacular night, there were so many cool people there, a glitter fest and great music and dancing throughout. It was sad that a bunch of London people weren’t able to come for various reasons but it had a different flavour and I had a great time with Bex enjoying paradise. It was also cool to meet new people in the Planet family and catch up properly with James man with the magic hands, who I have only really seen tangentially at recent parties.

It was great recently to be at home to welcome my parents back from their long trip. They’re looking really well and I’m sure there’ll be slide show upon slide show and story upon story for me to enjoy over the summer from these intrepid explorers/adventurers. I did a silly thing and watched the ball breakingly bad film Snakes on a Plane with my mumma. It was mega lame, but I finally got to see Borat which to me seemed like quite a watered down version of his TV show, perhaps that is why it was championed by so many middle of the road critics.

The new series of Doc who has been the best one yet of this new start of series. It’s been full on excitement and variety and spectacle. And it’s not over yet. Perhaps if boredom takes me I’ll do some fuller reviews of the eps, but so far Gridlock has proven yet again why Russell T Davies was the perfect man to revive the series, and not just because of The Macra!

Becky’s 21st was totally awesome, full of fun people, great music and a plenty glowsticks. The day after was equally banterful with a lovely BBQ in the back garden and a good number of people out enjoying the sun and chicken (especially Nadim’s mum’s recipe tandoori). It was a pity that we were too tired from the night before to go out and enjoy the London nightlife but it only made sense to chill out, which is never a bad thing to do of an evening.
The day before Be’x party we went to Whipsnade together and had the most awesome day with the Lemurs and big snakes and monkies etc. it was a perfect day and we had a nice walk around, a fab picnic, and got to see some really cute things in nice spaces (a particular fave was the red tree pandas!)

When I was in London I managed to go and see Taylor Mac the drag act at the Soho theatre with JW, it was totally awesome and I urge you to search his name on YouTube or something. It’s great!

I haven’t posted about Norfolk (chilled, lovely and awesome) or the camp reunion in Edinburgh (another wicked gang of people) or the Drama Ball (really good thespy night) or a million and one other happenings and thoughts, but that’s because although I want to I have to let those slide temporarily. I need to get my head buried in some books and keep all my various bits and bobs of admin and planning ticking over. Look woe is me, not! This is a great time, the sun sometimes shines and when it doesn’t we erect a tarp and have a BBQ anyway ;o)

Keep well everybody, much love and as a small thing to fill the time between reading this and catching up properly here are a few little webby time waster things I found on other blogs:

Google Game:
Go to Google and type in quotation marks your name and then “likes to” (ex. “Steve likes to”). Type in the first ten things that come up and repost in your own note.

Alastair likes to be active and have as many new experiences as possible

Alastair likes to cook and sample fine wines – often at the same time.

Alastair likes to use stgCast instead of C syntax. He claims it’s easier to write and easier to grep for.

Alastair likes to be… efficient in his communications, so here is his jambalaya recipe in full:. Chorizo, red onion, garlic, ginger, chilli, celery

Considering Alastair likes to run when he takes to the Heath, you would expect him to take it for some muddy jaunts.

Alastair likes to use a limited palette without blacks or browns.

I already can tell that Alastair likes to be with other children and I would not want to deprive him of going to school so he can make lots of friends and play.

Alastair likes to pretend he’s a whore, but when he’s really hungry he isn’t actually willing to put his ass on the market.


Alastair likes to surf this spot but you have to hike up and over the ridge with your board and most of his friends aren’t too keen with that.

(Surprisingly a lot of that matches me ;o) )

Here’s another procrastination game I’ve nicked from my mate Gomes, if you feel to fill it out in the comments area and I may return the favour if you copy the questions into a note of your own, unless I can’t be arsed or finals fear really takes over:

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
5. Describe me in one word.
6. What was your first impression?
7. Do you still think that way about me now?
8. What reminds you of me?
9. If you could give me anything what would it be?
10. How well do you know me?
11. When’s the last time you saw me?
12. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
13. Are you going to post this in your notes and see what I say about you?

April 22, 2007

the skins are the same colour as the shirts

I’ll try and be back with proper updates to my blog soon (after finals fear filter out) but until then,

This is a poem I’ve written in response to the stop the BNP campaign and a chat I had with my dad (who’s been involved in combating discrimination for many years):

The black man

What have you done for the black man lately?
Given him your change for a freshen up?
Or bet on him to win you a symbolic cup?
A black man is a non-white
made anonymous when you can’t look him in the eye,
Or say hi,
Or nod to him without guilt,
Or a smile.

We all came from Africa,
But some moved willingly
and others were just dragged along;
To the Caribbean via London
or Saigon?
In the West, I’m told; ‘we reward the best’,
We throw parties to enjoy our wealth
of tokens we just want to be rid.
Hitler didn’t know how to party.
Prince certainly did.

I’d never go to a Nazi Party,
Except to perform subtle subterfuge:
Like saying that “I hate how the Brazilians wear pink socks”,
Or over nibbles make a slur about how Hebridean chicks are bigger than their cocks.

What have you done for the black man lately?
Cast him as your God?
Made him the star of your latest play?
Eaten some of his cuisine?
Told him how; ‘many of your best-friends are gay’?
Some of my favourite black men are women.
It’s so hard to know who the brown team is
when the skins are the same colour as the shirts.
At my next dinner party I want lamb not beef.
In my mind only prison food really hits them where it hurts.

The thief man

October 31, 2006

State your peace (cheers for voting for me for union council! success)

So it’s been a while since I’ve blogged, it’s a good sign it means I’ve been busy at uni making the most of it. So I’m going to try and give a swift and exhaustive account of some of the cool shit that I’ve made part of my sphere of experience, if you’ll excuse the poncey phraseology.

The No2ID comedy event was a total ball. I had such a great time, it was also cool to catch up with childhood buddies Jermaine and Shenin and have a swift drink in a wicked bar next to the Empire. I also had a lock in with a bunch of the comedians which we pretty fun indeed.

Just before the gig I went to Devon with Alan for a couple of days. It was lovely to catch up with all the rellies and to get a last taste of summery Devon for the year. We really raced back for this comedy gig, although we saw a record number of crashes on the road back.

Term began and as usual was total banter. There have been a lot of nice parties (Jake, Spatz and Rob’s house, Spohie’s 21st, Kim’s monster party etc) and there’s plenty more to come. As usual we hit the ground running on the work front. I went to a wicked screening of Double Indemnity which also had a talk about Raymond Chandler. I also went to a talk about identity in French and German cinema although it was a bit lame and boring but it filled time before meeting Becky & Cags to go The Magic Numbers in Birmingham (wicked secret gig swung our way by the wonderful James Howard).

I’ve been doing my bit at WTV outputting my filmed version of To the End of the World on the website (also it is often screened on repeat on the Union screens). I’ve been holding meetings for my film and fiction which are pretty productive so far, there’s some cool fresh blood and lots of good material for output. I’m sorting out a home edit suite so I can start hacking up the 6 odd hours of Schoolgirl Nightmare footage and then film the bits I need to fill the gaps. I want to get our first year projects online just to show off basically. I filmed ex-CLS’er Nickesh in a great production of Dr Faustus so I’ve now got to get someone to edit it, I think the newbie who filmed it with me was quite keen on doing some, I reckon it’d be a good idea also to divide the edit between 2 people as 2 hours is a long stint to sit though especially if you’ve already seen the play.

I went to see a Rapid Eye Movement free event which was basically a showcase for local filmmaking at the arts centre, there were only 3 of us there, 4 once I texted Becky to come along. We saw a really good short starring Ray Winstone and Shaun Parkes so that was a nice highlight of the day (Tuesday the 10th of oct).

Module wise: I love writing for performance but it is hard, we’ve got a great writer in residence who cuts to the point and sometimes the bone. M.Armstrong and I were thinking of directing one of his plays for One World Week, which could be banter.
Aesthetics is a bit of a joke, it’s got good films and ideas but the lectures are poor. The seminars are better the seminar tutor is good at judging our level and working to that.
Culture Identity Text is a reasonably interesting module but it’s a bit dry.
Special Topic is a joy. So far we’ve just been watching excellent Renoir films and the Viper who runs the module is a legend and I always feel like I’m learning a lot. I did the first presentation on Boudu saved from drowning and it went well, he said that he was amazed I did as much work/research as I did during a week but that my presentation style was a bit poor, too much info too fast and not totally clear, but I’m glad others will have learned from my not major mistakes and it is really good to get some straight up feedback on presentations like that.

I wrote an article for my student newspaper on NO2ID which they unceremoniously butchered to make way for a page of advertising without a word of by your leave. The complete text will follow below. Fred is up for a Guardian Student Media award for best columnist, I hope he wins.

I’ve been to an art gallery opening which was good, I was also involved in a debate on the student radio station. I’d like to do more so long as they have good topics and debaters.

I caught the first 2 episodes of Torchwood which were pretty cool. I’m reserving judgement but the set up is good and it’s full of inventive ideas but it seems a bit too shiny and has too many helicopter shots of Cardiff.

I’m part of the Arts Centre’s student publicity team, we stage stunts to let people know what’s going on there, we had a social, with free wine and we went to see Watership Down which was an amazing piece of physical theatre. The next day I did an hour of advertising for it going around the union and jumping around the piazza demonstrating the kickboxing in the show and explaing how cool the student discount and psychic bunny was.

On Thursday we went to the Union to see Drum and Bass outfit pendulum. It was a pretty good night with nice bass to groove on and everyone there being up for a good night. But although we had bought tickets the queue to get in was a shambles. It became a huge bundle at one point and we were diverted under some steps that was well crampt. Also a fire alarm went off half way through the set so we all went out side and waited to come back in. Apart from that it was cool and nice to see what there were doing with the union these days; they did deck it out very prettily.

The other day I got a drastic haircut. I think I wouldn’t be happy about the length if it wasn’t such a good cut and one which everyone has said suits me.

I built a full scale cybersuit to accompany my cyber voice changer helmet, it’s all the bomb. I want a mannequin now so I can stand him in front of my door as a guard.

I’m going to be doing publicity design and costume building for a student devised production: “Clockheart boy” assuming their submission goes to plan.
Ben and Spatz are working on a music video project filming in week 6 in Birmingham to accompany a portishead track which all in all is pretty exciting. I designed some posters to advertise the auditions which were well attended so I assume I’m pretty good at this publicity design.

Mary-Kate Puddle from halls in the first year wants me to star in her adaptation of the comic book 100 bullets over xmas methinks. I think my new haircut might preclude me from the film, it seems like it’s not long enough anymore.

It’s great being in a new bigger room and having Becky live only around the corner. It’s been really fun and I love the people I live with so much, we’ve had plenty of banter on top of the usual uni stuff, seeing movies, the art gallery opening, eating together, playing house of the dead and soul calibur.

Here’s the No2ID article I wrote in full:

“If you’ve done nothing wrong you’ve got nothing to hide.
I like ID cards, they allow me to get served in bars easier.
The Government says it will help stop terrorism, even if there’s a slim chance it will help prevent attack it will be worth it.
Other countries have ID cards why shouldn’t we?”

These are nonsense arguments, and if you don’t think so I implore you to look at some of the facts… in your own time, because I’m going to try and avoid patronising you; instead I’m going to engage in the cathartic act of vomiting my disgust onto the page and pose some of the many questions that puzzle me on a daily basis.

In a world so full of causes I asked myself this summer what would be the best campaign to get involved with. In the end I decided; why decide? Instead I should stand up for as many of the things I believe in as I could. I’m not trying to be all high and mighty; I just had a lot of spare time. I joined several organisations that represented my views on war, arms trade, ocean conservation and nuclear proliferation, I flyered, marched, wrote to my MP, joined mass lone protests against the London “No Protest Zone” but I went a step further with one campaign, by helping out in the central office of NO2ID. So why did I do this?
Let’s take a quick look at the pros and cons of the Identity Cards Bill (now law) from a very basic (i.e. my) perspective:
Pros: some bureaucrats’ lives will be easier
Cons: it will make me feel icky.
That’s right; my only objection is to this scheme is a woolly, vague distrust and perhaps a certain amount of paranoia. But you know what they say; “it’s not paranoia if they’re really after you”. But with the introduction of the National Identity Register (NIR) they are. Yes the big feck off THEY! The Party, The Man and yes it’s him again, he’s taken a break from running the thoroughly distracting freakshow and coercing outspoken Scottish MP’s into pretending to be cats, and he’s gracing us with is presence; Big Brother. I know all too well how distracting he is, why oh why do they put that show on when I should be revising!!
Am I wrong to place a substantial portion of the blame on the media for leading us astray? Why is it that many people I talk to about this issue have no idea that this legislation, which has been passed in parliament, even exists, let alone that it constitutes a massive shift in the relationship between the citizen and the state? Is it simply political apathy on the part of the general public or have we been sung a sweet lullaby by the press so that we might sleepwalk into a terrifying technocratic future? I guess as with a lot of legislation the problem is one of dryness. For viewing figures perhaps this is just too dry an issue, no blood or other bodily fluids, it’s quite cerebral and yet my reaction is a gut one.
Usually when faced with the arguments for the ID cards that I cited above I simply quote some figures about the cost and cite how it could be better spent (education, scraping top-up fees, free healthcare for the elderly like they have north of the border etc). I use this tactic because most people I’m trying to convince to oppose this New Labour scheme are more or less middle class (like myself) and the only way to reach their minds is via their wallets (look for instance at the debate about cheap flight carbon offsetting). Usually I mention that the cards are likely to cost them around £93 for a combined passport and ID card package with an additional cost of around £200 per taxpayer, and that there is no ceiling on spending on this project, and that currently £95,000 pounds is being spent PER DAY on setting up the scheme, totalling a whopping £46.4 million by the end of May this year, and that is just ‘planning’ not even to mention the impact of arbitrary penalties that will make speed cameras seem trivial by comparison. When I’ve told them this I’m usually out of breath and haven’t got the energy to explain half of the other issues pertaining to the idiocy of this legislation. I don’t think I even have enough space to do that in this article. So I’m going to return to the feeling icky thing.
£46.4 million pounds on planning and yet no one really knows what’s going on? What are the legions of consultants (at a cost to us of around 100,000 pounds a day) doing? What are the press officers getting paid for if they’re not writing press releases? Is the Home Office changing the proposed system (watering it down to come in on budget for instance) and if so why not let us know and if not why don’t they explain in more detail how the scheme will work? (Which might at least enable others to judge whether the costings are realistic)? Paranoia kicks in, I get my free hit of adrenalin and I go on the hunt for malevolent designs. I look to the past for a precedent and I find a book called “IBM and the Holocaust” detailing how IBM’s primitive punch card identity system was used by the Nazis to computerise mass exterminations, funnily enough IBM are on a list of possible consultants for the system, but that’s all in the past.
I find malevolent designs closer to home; I’m in a pub and I get ID’ed. Not unusual you might think? Well I’ve been drinking in pubs since I was 14 I’m currently 6”3 and I never get ID’ed. Then I discover that pubs are being encouraged by the government to ID people who look under 21. Not to get all granddad on you but ‘in my day’ if you could recite a fake date of birth with a straight face you were in. I don’t want to glamorise underage drinking or trivialise alcohol abuse but the way I see it is that the timing of this isn’t based on new public safety concerns as much as it’s based on getting us used to the idea of carrying ID with us at all times. Ok weak argument you may say. Ok prepare to feel icky with me:
Kids are being finger printed in schools. Kids! Ok so it’s part of an empowerment scheme to get kids to be their own librarians, but what was ever wrong with a helpful librarian, face to face and a library card? The real issue here is that parent’s permission wasn’t sought. I’m purely pissed off about this because they didn’t have the balls to try it out on us first. What would have happened if we, with the capacity for informed decision making, were asked on masse to have our fingerprints taken in order to access library services? In a few years time these kids will be in our position and it will be simply commonplace for them. Am I being an old fogey before my time or is this actually compulsion by the backdoor and the manufacture of consent?
Part of being paranoid is seeing connections where they don’t exist; fair enough but to me all of this seems connected and part of a larger sinister picture. Is the change in pub protocol more connected to war on terrorism than to later opening hours? Has the issue of Muslim veils worn in public (sparked by ex Home Secretary Jack Straw) got more to do with problematic photo ID than to initiating an important debate about integration? Perhaps these links are a little tenuous but there are some that strike me as less so, for example the fact that America is introducing biometric ID concurrently with us and the fact that our foreign policies are so aligned. But it really it comes down to a question of trust. I’m more than happy to entrust my personal details to my GP but do I want to hand over all my details to a government who provides no solid evidence that the scheme will deliver on its aims or be value for money? Moreover can we trust the Home Office, probably this government’s most incompetent department, who this year wrongly labelled 1,500 people criminals in CRB checks and refused to apologise even though their mistake cost people jobs and university places, who have had previously presided over costly failed databases? Do we trust ultimate executive power to the likes of John Reid, the man who asked Muslim families to grass on their children if they showed signs of extremism? These cards will be an excuse for further racism as proving you are British becomes more and more important in everyday life; already we know that the statistically police carry out stop and search in a racist manner rather than on a basis of “intelligent profiling”. Dianne Abbot, my Labour MP, is against the cards on the grounds that they will increase racial tensions, and only last week were we told that universities are being asked to keep an eye on ‘Asian looking’ students. Why would we want to hand over such power to the same people who refused to listen to the rightful concerns of war protesters who knew that invading Iraq would only bring chaos & instability to the region and make us less safe at home. Should we give this power to the idiots who can’t tell the difference between an innocent, unarmed Brazilian and an imminent threat, who can’t tell the difference between a health and safety accident and a cold blooded, point-blank murder? Should we give this power to a government who said in their manifesto that the scheme would be voluntary and yet U-turn on that promise to slowly introduce nation wide compulsion?
Only 16 years ago a political protest over an unfair poll tax turned into a violent clash between the people and the police. Labour MP Terry Fields was jailed for 60 days for his refusal to pay. Will Labour now force us back to civil disobedience to get our rightful concerns heard? Now if you want to protest outside parliament you have to apply to the police for a licence, something which had been a right for hundreds of years. This law was widely known as an attack on an individual protester; Brian Haw, proved by the fact that no one could argue that a licence from the police could stop a terrorist attack. Aren’t these draconian policies a similar exploitation of our fears; distracting us from the lack of positive policies that take into account the real wants and needs of a population? How many more rights will be striped from us by tiny little, unnoticed bills of parliament, and what new ways will individuals be stepped over? There are hundreds of problems with the scheme that I haven’t been able to get into, but it still basically boils down to the fact that I for one don’t want iris scanning and finger printing to become the responsibility of all the future children of this land, nor do I want their right to exist to be appropriated by politicians and bureaucrats; that would be a very icky inheritance for the little blighters and they’ve already got climate change, a climate of racism and a whole gang of nuclear material to deal with.

To learn more and to take action:

September 27, 2006

Fragile Things????

just downloaded and watched “Steal this Film” about bittorrent etc. It’s very good and is hopefully going to be the first film to usher in a sea change.

Just had a thought about American imperialist democracy. If the USA wasn’t terrorfied about the dollor being devalued by oil being devalued by being traded with Euros they should encourage extremists to engage with global non violent protest (basically make a real commitment to world peace) and promise to listen to their grievences and have a real debate that isn’t about using force.

I spent a few lovely days at Becky’s we watched “Children of Men” which was excellent. The publicity for the film is good in that it doesn’t give much away but bad in that it places too much emphasis on the infertility of the population, which I think is just the background and impetus for a far more human story, the most human action movie, which therefore makes it more emotional, engaging and hard to watch.
Clive Owen redeems himself from his crap performance in Sin City and is back on “Croupier” form although he does usually play pretty similar characters here they’ve used that fact to great effect.
Micheal Caine’s performance is really his masterclass in screen acting and he steals every scene he’s in.
Julianne moore is fine but you fell she’s in the film to sell it to the American audience a little bit. which is fine and Cuarón makes great use of her.
A great surprise is who I remember as being a bit crap in Serenity but here shines through as a supporting actor really giving a drive to the film with his energy and screen presence.
The special effects constitute some of the best I’ve seen used in modern films perhaps coming second to the effects used in “Mars Attacks”, it’s a real joy to see such a creative and integrated use of effects.
I can’t reccomend this highly enough Cuarón infuses this beautiful British Dystopia with Latin American engery and violence. I’m convinced it’s one of the best films I’ve ever seen, but I’d like to see it again to make sure (so I may well do that today with the rents).
When I went to see it in Luton I made a joke about Al-Qiedia as there was a lot of rubble around, building works were a bomb site etc, which Bex thought was insensitive to the Muslim population of Luton but I beg to differ. Only Al-Quiedia members would have been offended as it would have been a poor attempt at chaos as everyone seemed to be getting on with their shiz.
children of menMicheal Caine
(just back from seeing it with my parents, they seemed to like it but leveled some problems with it. Please don’t read these if you haven’t seen the film as i’ve tried to keep my review spoiler free and free from opinion that would sway an overall assessment of the film: it was unoriginal and not deep. I get the feeling that these criticisms come from the same place that criticisms of the film on the grounds of having too many religious overtones, these appear to me to be clutching at straws to give an emotional and mental barrier to the barrage of images the film presents. The film appears to me to be very tight, balanced, thought provoking and original, and i’ve seen Full metal jacket, soylent green etc. this is a better war film and a better futuristic dystopia, even if simply because of the inclusion of Banksy, which I only properly noticed on a second viewing)

Did i mention the Labour party conference march was great, Bex came along to protest Trident and I tried to do my bit for NO2ID. We caught on the back of some drums, got to see police horses and only one police mand was a wanker, when i looked away from the mobile cctv camera he said something to me so i asked him to repeat himself and he said; “It’s ironic, you got caught on camera down there too”, no mate, frankly not ironic, you dont even seem to have an Alanis Morrisette type grasp of irony, it’s just smegging annoying and pointless and intimidating, thank you very much. The coach was fun, snuggling with Becky over the 3/4 hours each way and texting gorgeous george on his radio show. he totally read it out and mentioned Trident which to that point he hadn’t.

When I arrived in Harps I popped along to the inn on the green which was fun as usual good to see Bex’s friends such as John and Ames and Ads etc, all top banter.
The next night we engaged in a small crawl which provided magical banter.

I’m off to Devon for a couple of days which’ll be relaxing and lovely.
Yesserday I went to Forbidden planet for a signing by Neil Gaiman and I got his new compilation of short stories, I was delighted tho he musta been at it for hours, the queue was fine tho as I was having jokes with Simon and Juliet. Also I finally got to catch up with Toby and hang and chat which was ace. We disbanded after the signing and I came home for a scrumpcious fish pie, then Karim came around and we watched 15 Stories High, episodes 1+2 from the second series and the david bowie extras which was quite funny.
Och well better pack, 4 pairs of pants and the jeans i’m wearing should do the trick.
wishes: an end to violence on every scale. more people to respect animals, children, plants, women and men. A cyber controller helmet. The best year at Uni yet (that’s a hard one, they’ve all been pretty darn tops). A proper scottish breakfast. More love (greedy i know, but i also know the well is infinite) giving and getting, same thing really.

September 26, 2006

little bits and bobs of campaigning


This is an animation I’ve made to publicise the NO2ID comedy gig at the end of this week. I’ve also done flyering around Hackney Libraries. I’m heading in on Wednesday to do my final week’s volunteering at the NO2ID office. I’ll try and sort out some campaigning materials for freshers groups (maybe the political parties and people&planet stopwar etc, there isn’t yet the will for a whole society dedicated to it i believe) and I’m going to try to get the union to reaffirm it’s status on it and get the whole issue debated in the boar etc.

I went along to the protest at the Labour party conference, mostly to highlight the NO2ID issue (i reckon i was the only NO2ID placard there) and the argument to not replace Trident. Bex carried a placard for that and on that day a CND ad which I signed appeared in the Guardian. Check out the Big Trident Debate

Also today on the first day of the Labour party conference NO2ID put out this ad full page on the back of the guardian. Oooh controversial.
Guardian Ad

I’ll get back to you on my day to day happenings as soon as (it isn’t the middle of the night).
Love Al

September 19, 2006

If you're not pissed off you're not paying attention. Turning my back on the sun

Loose Change 911 cover up documentary

The pilot episode of The Lone Gunmen – the X Files- spin off basically encapsulates this film. As did the recent series opener for the BBC show Spooks. Hey to me it makes sense. You can try and enrage whatever religious sect you like (by being religious they have shown some dedication to a belief so supplanting their spiritual belief with a political one to your own end may seem simple enough). But I just don’t buy the whole, extremist muslims are the root of all evil and international terrorism (which gets proportionately too much coverage when compared with the real crisises that face us such as global warming and global poverty and an erosion of our civil liberties and public services). When you look at who has most to gain (and who has profitted most) from these acts, and cross reference that with those who have the power and equipment to carry out these acts with military precision, you realise that we (who create global public opinion – which according to Chomsky is the worlds other superpower) are under a psychological attack and PR campaign to beat us into submission, this attack comes from our corporate overlords and as has always been the case we must fight it and them.
The only thing worth fighting for is peace and we must realise who the hypocrites are who take that holy word (peace) in vain as they slaughter and allow slaughter.

Just got back from Leamington where I finally moved out of my last year’s room and into a fresh bigger one. I hoovered and moved all my shit and made a big mess of boxes in the hall. I had a lovely night in with Lou and we caught some top tv and made use of the on demand feature on our telly. Hey it beats fern and phil however good they are.
brucie bonus
I’m toying with the idea of doing a video diary, but i want to play with the format, perhaps make it a puppet show. I’ll think on’t.

I was over at Becky’s for a few days which was lovely. It’s hard to spend time apart, especially after living together for a month. We had a great time and ate well even doing a roast and dessert. We hung out with the Harpenden posse and I got to meet Jade which was delightful. We drank in St Albans and in the regular joint the inn on the green. I even went on a Waltzer with Adam and Alison. It is my favourite ride and we managed to avoid any violent chavs although my phone almost fell out of my pocket on the spins.Bex & SamSexy up the skirt shotme prone, taking the up the skirt shot
Bex and I watched the final 5/6 episodes of Bleak House, it was well involving, a great show well made and well acted.
We also had banter on the local park’s skate park and we did a time trial in which i hurt my knee (see pic above) but still got the to time.

I’ve been reading Robinson Crusoe but i’m only like 50 pages in, I’ve gotta get it read before the start of term.
foxy in tent
I had a lovely time at Foxy’s the other day, i was a bit sleepy and crotchety but i think that often adds to my charm, like the 1st doctor, not like the 6th colin baker tho my dress sense i probably more akin with his. We were constructing a tent type thang for Foxy who wanted a little more privacy as he sleeps in the living room of the delightful Canary Wharf apartment. It turned out splendidly with a little help from Karim who solved our anchorage issue with some hemp string and some Bamboo (I capitalised that so you could fully appreciate the sound of that word. Bamboo, i love it). It was cool to hang out unfortunately i had to run mid way through pizza for…

...for a meeting with a producer I met at the TV carreers seminar to discuss possible researching for her show, but I think I’ll only do a little of it because I’d like to get a headstart on this term’s work and on my own projects (lots of editing, film making, writing etc to do) and the subject although all dryness is removed from the show the research could be a bit dusty, and it’s not a new challange so much, having done researching for tv before.

I’m going to try and get on a coach to the demo on saturday in Manchester. It should be a big one and hopefully we’ll start being listened to now King Tony’s position is weakened by his massive failure as a human being and might I say as an impartial observer as a Christian.

so i passed my driving test which was a relief. I only got 3 minors so i’m proud of myself. I don’t reckon it’s very viable getting a veichle straight away but we’ll see, if it turns out I can get a cheap run around at auction or something and perhaps cheapish insurance it might be worth trying to accrue some no claims bonus. But what I really want is a VW so I’ma have to focus on it for that to come to me clearly and easily as they seem pretty steep right now and all of the other issues (like the amount i should focus on my last year at uni rather than running around the country camping and running errands;-P)

I’m worried for my pappy as he’s up late at night avoiding sleep looking at right-wing websites such as (thats terrorism knowledge database to you and me) fueling paranoia without any of the perks paranoia usually brings like cannabis induced mirth. I can’t talk really. I’m the same, although I avoid forray’s into gambling websites (tho I am far too often checking e-bay to see if they’ve reduced the price of the cyberman voice changer helmet so I guess each to their own vices huh?).
He’s also been doing his lone gunman bit on old mi6 murders and on bits of the uk countryside that shouldn’t be there but are clearly visible on google earth. He’s convinced there’s drilling and a whole military underground city. It’s getting all a bit Dr Strangelove but hey I like it. I’m more convinced by the J G Ballard consumerist, st George’s flag brandishing, distraction dystopia.
I’m just about to read an extract from his new book “Kingdom Come” and i caught an interview with Melvin Bragg last night which seemed interesting.

I’m also worried about my mammy as she seems to only want to engage me in baby language. this can make conversation difficult and perplexing. I can understand it to some extent as she still calls her dad dadarh and he is a big one for talking like a 5 year old to “dear little doggies”- that’s a direct quote from a lord of the realm. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, they can’t understand a fucking thing eitherway i suppose. I think it might be some strange aristocratic hangover, i mean i can’t imagine anyone talking to prince charles like he’s a sane, adult, human-being but then again I reckon our genes might be a bit more diverse. I think this obsession with family might account for her intense jealousy of time I spend away from home. Or perhaps it’s an unspoken desire to have someone to talk to who isn’t asleep during the day due to hours of night time conspiracy theory research (in part my fault granted, i kick started it with spooks and Loose Change – see above) but there’s only so much of the puppy dog look I can handle.
I think we’ll both try and act as tho it’s solely due to her motherly desire to cook and clean for me, and when I’m not here there’s simply nothing to do, nothing to iron. Either that or as Becky pointed out we’re all changing, learning all the time and when you spend time apart that continues but you’re not around to observe it. So it can be a little jarring.
p.s. I don’t iron. I specifically buy clothes (usually from charity shops) that require no extra work. Ironing is the opiate of the eastenders watcher. God I’m getting pretensious. What to you mean “Getting?” in that incredulous tone!?!
I’ll totally miss them when they’re gone… NO I don’t mean when they kick the bucket I mean when they go travelling for half a year odd. They’re much better 20 something’s than I’ll ever be. I’ve already skipped to the old man ranting stage.

Today i went into Leamington town with Lou and looked for some course books (plays which i subsequently ordered from the Amazon marketplace) i found none but Lou got Robinson Crusoe so not a failure. I picked up a book by Pete Seeger which has photo’s and sheet music concerning the people who worked to build America. I can’t wait to get into it.

sorry for the disjointed nature of this entry. I don’t give a fuck. Ooh look at me Rebel without a cause you may say.

I;ve been reading a good book for our aesthetics module (well the first chapter with a nap in the middle of it during my train down) called But is it Art? It’s very interesting and accessible (and a small book too, woot!). That’s all on that for now.

there’s not enough hours in the day for facebook and there’s not enough people on Skype. Perhaps I’ll start a facebook group encouraging people to join Skype. I mean i could call them but I’m more friendly with my computer than i am with my phone. Odd that.

My gorgeous Becky is ill. I hate it. If I lived near her I’d be over there with chicken soup and strokes. It’s partly my fault, I encouraged her drinking when on antibiotics, well i say i encouraged it infact i think i was trying to keep up with her.Bex B/W
She told me today that when she’s in this state she’d appreciate it if i wasnt witty. I wasn’t being witty I was putting my foot in my mouth time and time again so if she thought it was me being witty then surely it’s her fault for being stupid. wait I’ve gotta stop. But when faced with bad shit you’ve gotta laugh. Like a Ron Howard movie. If you took off the heart plucking strings, doubled the speed of the film and put on the Benny Hill music, that would be hilarious shit. But hey I didn’t direct it and there’s probably a reason for that. The project would have come in horribly overbudget after we secured the rights to the music when we could have used any old violin and 2 bit composer. Benny Hill music is GENIUS!!
I’ve diverted from topic but I’m allowed safe in the knowledge that I love that girl with every fibre of my being (so that’s my hair?...STOP IT!)

I haven’t gotten my brother anything for his birthday yet. I feel stupid getting him something from his Amazon wishlist (a staple in recent present buying, everyone’s made happy) as now he works from them he could get the items at a silly discount. Perhaps I’ll get him horribly distasteful 9/11 memoribilia as that’s his birthdate. Someone must have made a commemorative plate by now, there were plenty for Diana. why do they choose plates for these tasteless money grabbing pieces of shit? Why not a diana memorial watering can? or diana memorial pair of old boots.

just to repeat some links:

and here’s an animated music video for Less than Jake’s song The Science of Selling Yourself Short.
Check it out

here’s some random photo’s some from events which i believe I’ve mentioned. e.g. the excellent Planet Angel and the excellent Titus Andronicus (which was brillo in seeing James and I scored the Dr Who Quadrupile which if i havent explained it and you care, ask me to explain in the comments below and I shall).
There is also a pic there of kids on a zebra crossing I’d like to open that up to a caption competition.

Planet PixieNO2ID Badges for baggingGaiaThe GlobeHUNGER HUNGER HUNGER HUNGER HUNGER HUNGER HUNGER HUNGER at kidirises god ICaption anyone?

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