All entries for Saturday 07 May 2005

May 07, 2005

Public enemy number one

Today while doing the same tesco shopping that I do every week I noticed I was being very closely monitered by not 1 but 2 Tesco security guards. They followed me in a very conspicuous way and everytime I stopped to pick something up, they did too. Just because I have a Northern Irish accent and I choose to wear my national costume (JOKE!) while shopping does not mean that I am an aspiring thief. You may think the security guards were only doing their job but they were so obvious that they may as well have asked to conduct a stripsearch. They need to take tips from a real law man, the silver fox of channel five late night tv, Sheriff John Bunnell I salute you…

Watch out for the gypsy children in electric dresses, they're insane

Hey you, what are you lookin' at? Oh yeah, my first blog…

'I wish I'd been a bit more spontaneous. Sometimes I feel like going out, stealing a traffic cone, putting it on my head and saying, "Look at me, I'm a giant witch!"'

Yay for me, I've blogged!

'Remember that song, the Safety Dance? That dance wasn't a safe as they said it was'

I'll be back with more soon… Bet you can't wait _


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