Musings from a second–rate Second Coming
After Top B yesterday, next to the Hot Chocolate stall, some guy kept calling me Jesus. I totally missed the opportunity for an “I’m Jesus? LOL!” joke. Other comments I wasn’t sober enough to think of include the fact that I was wearing all black rather than the traditional messianic plain white of forgiveness, and anything involving the idea that Cliché Jesus and Jesus are different people (one talks about peace and forgiveness and is unlikely to have been a white caucasian, the other travels the world appearing in toast and befriending lepers).
If I were Jesus, I probably wouldn’t spend my time thinking of names for the chat-shows I’d almost inevitably be invited to host when the news got out. “Face to face with Faith’s true face” (subtitle “We’re going one-on-one with the One”) has the benefit of annoying the continuity announcers, while “Allah-bout Allah” is simple, but implies the wrong religion. “Al is I Am” or “Al-eluia” could work, but only if I keep my current name to some extent. There’s also probably something you could do with “Yahweh-t”, and “Logos” is simple enough that I feel I ought to be able to find a title it fits into.
Just for the record, I’m fairly sure I’m not actually Jesus. But on the off chance that I’m wrong, and I am in fact destined to herald in the End of Days, you should all repent from your sins and start a new relationship with me. Reading my blog is probably a good way to start. It’s quite hard to sin while reading blogs (although I’m sure the more dedicated sinners among you could manage to do so), and it could definitely be the start of a relationship if you don’t already know me. So in summary: sin is bad; the Apocalypse is potentially coming.