Cracker Watch – 6 months on
Follow-up to Cracker Watch from Draknek's Deprecated Devlog
Mairead, in her deluded fashion, has decided that a cracker, if left outside of a cracker jar, will eventually go mouldy.
Rather than pat her on the head and say, “Yes, deary,” (followed by running away quickly), I decided to prove her wrong in the greatest scientific experiment ever performed on a cracker.
That was 6 months ago. Our highly trained team of scientists have been examining the cracker in microscopic detail since then, and today I’m happy to announce that it is absolutely mould-free. Hopefully, my critics will realise their mistake and issue a full retraction shortly.
Here are the latest photos of the entirely mouldless cracker:
Crackers are, of course, the antithesis of mould. Any mould contact with a cracker instantly sterilises the spores, preventing the mould colonies from growing on the cracker. I know what you’re thinking: if this were true there would be a universal imbalance of mould, where would could they breed now?
Soon after the invention of the cracker in the middle ages a French housewife stumbled across the solution after leaving a bowl of milk out and going on holiday. Gone off milk provided a perfect breeding ground for growing the mould, and to this day the French leave huge blocks of the stuff happily growing all sorts of mould in cellars. Some of it gets quite hairy.
This “cheese” restores the universal mould imbalance. But it is a senstive balance, so whenever you consume a cracker, you must soon after consume a similar quantity of mouldy cheese. Today, the preferred method seems to place the cheese on the cracker for maximal cracker/mould balance, but how do you eat yours? =)
16 Jan 2007, 09:07
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