November 16, 2004

More Leamington–Inspired Motoring Madness

Follow-up to Wobbly Cyclists and Speedlimititus from Crossing the i's, Dotting the t's

Well its been a few weeks since the local motorists last brought my blood to boiling point, but its been quietly simmering away, and recent developments mean I can no longer keep my cool…

So what is it now? People still too slow? Well, yes actually, but thats not the point right now (By the way, ye who sent an email criticising my choice of speedlimititus - you're right, it really is more like speedlimitphobia but it really is lacking in some of the alliterative effect, don't you think?). And credit to the cyclists, they seem to be having greater success in their battle against gravity. However , this time there are two new problems.

The first seems to have been induced by the clocks changing by just a single hour, and the somewhat inevitable onset of Winter. As darkness descends somewhat earlier, the esteemed motorists of Leamington have responded, with a unified outcry of "let there be light!". Fog lights, to be precise. There's just a little problem with this. For all the darkness out there, its really not been foggy yet. And you see, well, fog lights….. The situation is further compounded by the uncertainty as to when the sun sets at the moment – in sheer panic certain members of the motoring public have deduced it is better to simply keep their fog lights on at all times: day, night, fog, rain, snow, and more than likely in blinding sunlight too. At first I confined this befuddling novelty to that of the boy racer's world. But no, the use of fog lights has even been witnessed on Volvos and Rovers.

The result? Well, my retina's now have two scars about a car bonnet's distance apart. Headlights are enough to see at night, so stick to 'em please. Failure to comply will result in my pulling over, and unleashing my housemate on your car, in a San Andreas inspired vigilante fury.

Secondly is a less seasonal problem, more brought on by the fact that other drivers are morons. Indicators. Indicators and roundabouts. If you come onto a roundabout, wishing to take an exit that is, when you go onto the roundabout on your right, by all means, indicate right. But once you have passed the exit before the one you wish to take, indicate left. How you weren't taught this is quite beyond me. Its in the Highway Code, look it up. Until then, that person waiting to pull out of the exit you just took is NOT shaking some coffee beans in his hand. Its me, demonstrating the point to your whole existence.


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