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January 16, 2012

The Wanted – Warzone

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The Wanted - Warzone

In the immortal words of Mariah Carey, “All I want for Christmas is an awkward dubstep ballad”. Wait, you mean those aren’t the words? In that case it looks like the only people we have to blame for inflicting “Warzone” on our poor, defenceless ears are The Wanted themselves. Good one guys, way to make the post-Christmas come-down a million times more depressing.

This single is beyond pointless; too bass-heavy to be a ballad, and too slow to be a floor-filler, it would just about make a passable accompaniment to some kind of cinematic, slow-motion action sequence, and frankly my afternoon jog doesn’t quite live up to those expectations. Hell, it could have been a critical satire on the commercialism of the season, blaring out as desperate shoppers nationwide spend the next few days picking over the remains of decimated, desecrated Winter Sale rails.

Instead, it’s a yawn-inducing anti-climax that makes us feel all sad inside. At least we can take comfort in the fact that, all being well, by next Christmas no one will remember who these lot are anyway.


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