The Arts Student
Old adversaries you and I. And it was always you, with that steady self assurance and easy charm, it was always you the victor. I guess you pitied me somehow, with my awkward ways and usefulness to the world. I remember that look in your eyes when you told me that ‘dynamical’ really isn’t a word. But I’ve got something on you now, something big. Bigger than that time they caught the pope shoplifting. I mean when I was in Gauss’ graveyard and I really had to go you didn’t catch me relieving myself near his grave, I have more respect than that. You guys piss on your gods.
Maybe I’m being cryptic, perhaps you’re thinking of worse things and wondering how I found out. So I’ll get straight to the point. You write in library books. At first as I was flicking through a copy of Wide Sargasso Sea I thought it was just a fluke. But no, your inane and ridiculous comments fill every page of each of the five copies in the library. And then it’s not just that book, but all of them. I find the speech ‘to be or not to be’ annotated ‘Hamlet is in a funny mood’. Real deep.
So next time you smile condescendingly and place your arm on mine I’ll return the smile and let my eyes too fill with pity. Perhaps you won’t understand at first but eventually you’ll realise the mask has slipped. You guys write in library books.