Ah but these are unrelated comments. You may have noticed that I haven't filled in the now…er, more than 7 day gap on my blog. I have been musing over it, but when I've felt motivated, have been internet free, and when I've been flopped, have been job hunting in a lacklustre manner.
Serendipity because while caught on the fence between motivation and flop, I found two comments from a lovely lady called Cat. I'm assuming she's lovely, because she's written lovely things, but in this cut-throat media world, maybe I should reserve judgement…either way, it's tipped me into motivation.
And all thought processes seem to have become overly complicated like that. Is it because my brain has too much thinking space? Is it some sort of procrastination? Or something else? Hard to tell, but still, that's several days away yet…and I need my diary. The weeks become one long day when there's no routine, as I'm sure all you student types will appreciate.
I just got my diary to check what I was doing on day 1. Well duh, I went to work, oblivious. The morning passed by in a hectic fashion. I spent the weekend celebrating my dad's birthday, doing work, and thinking I really need a holiday. "Be careful what you wish for" is probably a relevant phrase here.
One ominous phone call, no lunch, and two meetings, later, shocked doesn't even cover how I felt. Adrenaline pumping, I was pretty shaky and didn't really know what to do with myself. A meeting with my other boss told me that I don't need to go to work during the next 30 (well, 29) days. "but…my whole job is still there". It is. It will be. How does any of this make sense?
My position was created for my other boss, who's also at risk. "but…my whole job is still there". Two stuck records doesn't really make for any kind of constructive solution. An announcement was made to my office. Feel like I'm putting everyone in a bit of an awkward "bugger, what do we say?" situation. It must be a relief to know that your own job isn't at risk.
I stayed 'til the end of the day, as I had commitments that I felt I should uphold…and nothing had really sunk in. Looking back, I should've just gone round the corner with the others and drowned my sorrows.
But as it was, I spent time e-mailing a few people and idly doing things like invoices. Was still picking up the phone etc. "Hello, Sugar magazine (how can they help you, as I don't strictly speaking work here anymore)". The office downstairs was empty, but my office was still ticking over as usual. Very strange.
I got back at 9 or so I think. Still a bit shell-shocked. Looking back, I maybe shouldn't have drowned my sorrows…but ah what the heck. Events from the day were still circling in my brain and not quite making sense. The (approximately) one bottle of wine meant that I didn't care about logic by the time I went to bed, so actually got to sleep without any trouble.
*bq. "B has been suspended pending an immediate review," she said. "The May issue, which goes on sale next week, will be the last until further notice. The review will last approximately 30 days. Twenty staff will now enter a period of consultation today."
An official company quote from the mediaguardian article.
I suppose I'll have to tag anything and everything I write about this with a disclaimer: anything I write about this is purely my own views and experiences and has nothing to do with the company's opinions and plans. What they've said above is the reality, this is just me.