Random Facts About Vin Diesel
Writing about web page http://www.4q.cc/vin/
- Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
- If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
- There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.
- When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, & instead requests a hand gun & a bucket.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
- When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
- Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
- Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- To attain inner peace, Vin Diesel eats Buddhists.
- Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
- Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
- Vin Diesel doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.
- When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- Vin Diesel once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
- When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
- Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
- Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, & the game beat itself out of fear.
- Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
- You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, & the tears of small children.
- It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
- Vin Diesel never took an acting class. Instead, he believes every movie he makes is real life, & the camera's are just there to record his actions for future generations. These future generations will wonder if Vin Diesel was real, or an imaginary creation. Vin Diesel will then kill the future generation.
- When Vin Diesel thinks that his lungs are too black from cigarettes, he simply eats a pound of pure bleach. It usually works.10am, Vin Diesel’s mouth becomes a portal to Narnia. Plan accordingly.
- Rather than shave his head, Vin Diesel simply undergoes chemotherapy to remove his hair.
- There was actually no cast, crew, or sets for The Chronicles of Riddick. He ate film, crapped it, & it came to be.
- The Periodic Table is actually a listing of every element that Vin Diesel has ever consumed. Even Plutonium.
- Vin Diesel shaves his face with a vegetable peeler.
- Vin Diesel can touch MC Hammer.
- He is made up of smaller, slightly more British Vin Diesels.
- Vin Diesel was never actually born. After eight months of gestation, he carved his way out of his mother's womb with a rusty knife.
- Every night, Vin Diesel does 700 push ups and punches himself in the face until he passes out.
- Vin Diesel only bruises three things: apples, peaches, & bitches.
- If a Vin Diesel crosses your path it is bad luck unless you buy & toss a copy of "The Pacifier" over your shoulder.
Eleanor Darlington
02 Mar 2006 19:16
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25 comments by 1 or more people
[Skip to the latest comment]Max Dymond
Love it :) I actually made a module for this for Google Personalised Homepage so I get a new Vin Diesel and Mr T quote every time I open my browser! (not sad at all)
02 Mar 2006, 22:35
Someone
Domestic abuse is funny. Not.
02 Mar 2006, 22:48
fus
vin diesel has high blood pressure…because children's tears are salty
28 Apr 2006, 18:05
Tyler Daniels
A speeding car once slammed into Vin; that car is now in 15 pieces
04 May 2006, 04:25
mr and mrs not smith
This is fantastic. Have used the periodic table comment in my A-Level chemistry homework, we’re pretty sure I will pass!!!
17 Sep 2006, 19:18
bob
there was no such thing as the bang vin diesel just realy didnt like dinosours
02 Oct 2006, 14:46
SID
Vin Diesel CAN believe its not butter
13 Oct 2006, 20:36
what?
Half of these “facts” are ripped off of real facts about Chuck freakin Norris. That makes me sad, and it probably makes Chuck Norris really angry. You should probably run for your life.
27 Oct 2006, 16:54
Steve
Yeah, honestly. I just read the Chuck Norris facts a week ago and thought they were absofreakinlutely hilarious. My friend told me about these and said they were funny as hell too. Only a few made me laugh. A lot of these, almost word for word, are taken from the Chuck Norris website.
16 Nov 2006, 16:42
lillith
Vin Diesel ate Rudolf, then used his eyeshine to guide the sleigh as Sata rode bitch, delivering not toys, but shivs and sub-machine guns to all the bad little boys and girls…..
..... so they could kill the good ones…..
13 Dec 2006, 02:23
bk
if vin diesel was black, he would be vinegar.
19 Jan 2007, 15:17
Big Will
First of all, the Chuck Norris facts were actually spawned from the Vin Diesel Facts thread at the Something Awful forums. Vin Diesel Facts were first, idiots.
20 Feb 2007, 04:42
nick
actually the vin diesle facts came first
these are what inspired chuck norris facts
20 Feb 2007, 04:53
Sexyness
Vin Diesel is ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sexy!!we know him well and where he lives so if yuu ever wana meet up with tha sex god let us know!!! hehe
UR ALL SOOOO….
[jealous! proper!] haha
xxx
22 Feb 2007, 10:51
XXX stalker
now i wanna b Vin’s condom, not the one on the other side!! Fuck me Vin!
01 Apr 2007, 21:40
chuck norris is better but someone is a fag
who ever posted # 2 is a fag
14 Apr 2007, 05:00
virtue415
Vin Diesel is a much deeper man than this. You people know nothing about him. You dont even know his real name or where he grew up. Thats sad!
06 May 2007, 20:33
non of ur bizzwaxx
you guys are sad children serzly u have nothink better 2 do
then be 6 yr old roofllzzz serzlyy if u guys dont like vin the
y the fuck did u guys TYPE IN VIN DIESEL IN GOOGLE AND SERCH HIM
up serlyy use are sad ppl
u dont even no 1 thing about him and as virtue415 said u dont even no his name his backround and u dont even no what he was when he was a teenager serzlyy GROW UPP!!!
08 May 2007, 01:00
Julius_Cezar
Vin facts came 1st.
End of story.
And all thoes fucks talking about how no one knows vins real name, 20$ say they dont either
and if they reply to this comment, i bet they looked it up befor they responded, just to act like they know shit
cuz theyre dick heads
17 May 2007, 16:46
himynameisD
Ur mother knows vin diesel
08 Jun 2007, 07:52
Kat
His name is Mark Vincent… and i think i heard somewhere that he has a twin.
23 Aug 2007, 23:42
arizona
Yes, he does have a twin, and that twins name is Chuck Norris. God put both on this earth to find and kill the person who wrote comment #18, but instead, they decided to teach that person how to spell. Soon after, Vin Diesel executed that person with a sub-machine gun…full of blanks.
04 Sep 2007, 07:42
wibu
thanks God someone noticed #18… it’s sad when you see kids f*cking up a language.
PS: both Vin and Chuck facts are funny! :)
13 Sep 2007, 15:06
ToKeN
vin deasle ain’t afraid of chick norris he’s the only person that chuck noris try to roundhousekick him and he dident move!
28 Oct 2007, 16:35
JIMY_HOFFA
Vin Diesel sneezed only once!That was when the last Ice Age was formed!
21 Nov 2007, 12:22
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