Green days – by Nic
Hannah's post really struck a chord with me. Over the course of my PhD, I often felt inadequate and lost. My peers seemed to have direction and purpose, while I sat at home mournfully rewriting Chapter 3.
Envy is destructive. It affects your interaction with peers but also your relationship to your own work. It's easy to feel as though researcher life is a competition, and that the winners are the first to publish or get approval.
Of course, this is a distortion. Everybody's work is different, everybody's approach is different. If you hold yourself up to comparison with others, you're setting yourself a false standard.
What I eventually realised about my feelings of envy was that they came from insecurities about my own work and my own worth as a researcher. Happily, these fears have (mostly) abated. And also... I don't have time to be envious any more!
Ol' green eyes is back: Data does not understand your human feelings of envy.