Movie review entries
May 05, 2007
- Spider-Man 3
April 08, 2007
February 21, 2007
- Hot Fuzz
This was a good fun movie. With some very humorous moments. Funky Brit cinema style and some very memorable quotes! Unconventional cop movie with guns and action (good), whilst involving a lot of ripping the piss out of west county folk – I kept looking at Em to see how insulted she might have felt. Very strangely gorey at some points, which I guess comes from the Shaun of the Dead DNA. I only wish it had put in hysterics – probably due more to my mood and fatigue.
December 02, 2006
- Napoleon Dynamite
- Not rated
Oh my gosh. This is by far the worst “comedy” movie I’ve ever seen. You will want the last 86 minutes of your life back. Hence it gets ZERO stars out of five. It was the biggest waste of time I have come across. If you are even thinking about watching this movie, don’t. I suggest the following alternative activities which are much more worthwhile:
1. Find the worst movie you have ever seen (e.g. Spice Girls The Movie) and watch it three times over.
2. Observe a person who is watching paint dry.
3. Listen to James Blunt/Westlife/The Carpenters on constant repeat.
4. Cutting the grass on your lawn with a razor blade.
5. Take a dump for 86 minutes.
Maddy recommended this “cult” movie. John, Paul and I sat through it all. We had a strange feeling that the joke was on us. And that Maddy was making us three idiots watch this worst excuse of a movie whilst she went to bed… laughing in histerics. It turns out she does actually like the movie a lot. We really need to sort her and anyone else who likes it, and BEAT them with a sensibility stick. It wasn’t the slightest bit funny. If it had been slapstick, it would been funnier. Was it an in-joke? Schoolboy joke? They weren’t original.
Picture the scene: a nerd riding a mountain bike jumps on a ramp….
(are you in hysterics yet?)
(how about now???)
I’ve read better jokes on the back of a Penguin bar. It can only be summed up by what Paul said when the extra scene came on after the credits.
I’m not watching that. Life’s too short
November 27, 2006
- Casino Royale
Hmmm I haven’t been to the cinema for ages it seems. Having started watching Bond movies since I was 5 years old (every saturday on ITV, or Channel 3 if you’re Swedish [Ivan]), this was definately something I would make the effort to go and see, despite the fact Laura and I was given 30mins prior notice by Will and Matt.
I thought the story was a good one. No satellites that fire lasorrrrr beams. No jumping rocket cars. No invisibitily cloaks etc. Just back to basics, of punching somebody in the face with one’s fist, a vulnerable, sexy and muscular Aston Martin DBS9, the weapon was money, the tactics was texas hold-em poker and everything was believable.
There was a large amount of unashamed product placement. Sony and Ford mainly. I cracked up when he drove the Ford Mondeo to the hotel, at which every car in the car park was a Ford Premier Auto Group car: Volvo, Jag, Land Rover and of course Astons. Well I suppose it is “nice” to know that I use the same K800 mobile phone as James Bond, and the villan used my last mobile phone. I guess we’ll get to the stage where we’ll be using the same bog-roll as you see on the silver-screen!
Unfortunately the film ended on a “to be continued…” note which is as annoying as Carol Smilie’s smile. I’ve given it four stars, though it is biased cos my analysis was based on the fact that it had cars, guns, girls and Bond suaveness!
May 25, 2006
- X-Men 3: The Last Stand
Watching X–Men 3 was like going to pick up Aunty Mary from the airport after she'd been away on holiday. The presents she brought were not as exciting as she made it out to be, and the most exciting thing was probably the drive there, and back. It was a chore you had to do anyway.
So that was X–Men folks! I couldn't remember a single thing in 1 & 2. It had a nice dose of action, and a lot going on, but I think the problem with movies where they're made in 2–parts/triologies/or more is starting to show. A single movie can't hold its own.
Meh! It was a break from revision.
May 21, 2006
- The Da Vinci Code
Right, I have never read the book. But I saw the trailer the other day and the only thing I could think of was that it looks like a great action movie. Everyone will tell you its about the last supper, christianity or whatever. No no NO! Its a full blown fictional thriller/action movie! Its got pistols, submachine guns, land rover, planes, cop car chases, Sony Ericsson W850 and the crypto thing. I have to say, the whole story is made up by ingeniusly stiching up myths, legends such as the Templar Knights and stuff. Absolutely enthralling.
Tom Hanks was just a great professor and Audrey Tautou was fantastic too (very attractive in this one compared to her other movies). The settings in the story were great from: la Louvre to Westminster Abbey.
"But it doesn't match the same story in the book... nag nag nag... there were 2 crypto things weren't there". The answer to that moan is: Do you really want to be cinema for 6 hours? I felt it was pretty snappy and the combination of modern day life and the 300AD stuff made it a great way to spend 2 hours.
May 05, 2006
- King Kong
OUCH! How LONG is that movie. It has the essential long scenes showing the island's beauty etc blah de blah, but even Jane Austin would have fallen asleep watching that movie (and she likes her rubbish details like that).
It was good, nice setting, nice characters. I liked King Kong himself. I agree that the movie should be that long, but I will never ever spend 3 hours watching it again in my life. Watch at your own peril.
March 05, 2006
- La Haine (1995)
I watched this movie with a slightly opened mind. I didn't want to like it at first because of the ghetto-y inauthentic hood feel you get from the french "wannabe ganstas." But its literally how it is in poorer parts of Paris. I really didn't think it was made as far back as 1995.
Its a movie about social problems in the ghettos de Paris. A youth of Arab origin had been beaten up by Police and his injuries left him critical in hospital. This sparked outrage riots and a serious mistrust in the police, and every policeman thinking every hooded kid is a thug. The story follows three friends in their daily life during very critical times. Rights, wrongs and morality. I found it quite a moving story, with a shock ending. It was a good watch.
Seems the only words I learnt in french from this movie were the obscene swear-words!
February 26, 2006
- Proof (2005)
Went to see this at the Apollo with Laura last night, and I still don't actually know what to make of this movie. Its not actually about Maths, but psychological problems and emotions. About a famous Mathematician "Robert" (Anthony Hopkins) and his daughter "Catherine" (Gwyneth Paltrow) as they both come to grips with insanity and being a maths genius. And Jake Gyllenhaal runs about a lot.
Its a small cast and I think this movie would be much better if it was still in its play form. Don't get me wrong I still think its good, its a movie/story I can typically imagine my mate Alistair analysing in a 30,000 word essay: the older sister Claire showed little emotion towards her father's death because she had lost the sympathetic touch with him because he was insane for the past 8 years... Overall it may have too complex for me on a saturday evening. It is a very different movie than the normal emotional stuff.