How so little can mean so much
You know how getting little positive feedback can get you going through a rough day, I just had some of that, where a very nice person made a remark about me that was absolutely flattering, it was something like this; I was telling him about my home country, Syria, and said that it is a small country in the middle east, to which he kindly replied “but you are making it so big”
The ironic thing is that on the same day someone made an opposite remark about me, and she was very hurtful by doing so little, I’m not going into detail because I chose not to overthink it.
And I think this is wht we should do, if we can, to filter feedback we get, os we make the best out of the positive and reduce the damage from the negative. I don’t think this is living in denial as long as you do it deliberately.
Finally, I realize I must be deliberately motivating others in same way, it doesn’t really require much; a subtle remark or even a smile and “how are you doing” would do it, and the effect could be hugely inspiring, I mean to me it was.
Mohammad Sandouk
07 Feb 2012 17:21
| 
Tags: Inspiration
| 
Comments (9)
| 
Report a problem
Loading…
9 comments by 5 or more people
[Skip to the latest comment]Sue
So true.
07 Feb 2012, 22:38
Akshay Kothari
Waseem I would like to see this situation in a different perspective, what I am going to tell you now is not really going to help you in class exercise but I am sure it will defiantly going to help you in real life.
When someone gives me feedback I would like to listen negative points or area of improvement about my self, because I follow my fathers way and he also don’t really listen to people who are talking very glossy about you in front of you instead of that he really like to chat with people who tell them that you are doing wrong or you can improve this things. So I asked reason behind such a different behaviour to him- that why you listen bad things from people who are lower than you, why you entertain them and not listen to your appreciations, positive points. – he told me that, when you have positional power and when you are rich people used to come to you and tell you glossy things about you because they want something form us or they just want to impress us, as this is natural human tendency to get attracted to people who are talking really nice to you but when you are at same high position & someone come to you and dare to tell you that you can improve this or you did this wrongly their feedback is real one and they really want us to improve that and they want us to progress.
And from that day I realise that when someone gives you negative feedback they indeed wants you to improve and they are real observer of our work for ex. family members, close friends etc. and that’s why I ask my areas for improvement when my team was giving me feedback because I don’t want to listen about my positive points but its better to listen about negative point and try to convert them in to positive.
why I said in the beginning that it will not help you in class because no one from class wants to impress anyone or they will not get anything by doing so. They just give feedback naturally or to satisfy course requirement. I don’t know this actually relate to what you said in blog but it just came to my mind I thought that i can share it with you.
08 Feb 2012, 01:58
Mohammad Sandouk
thank you very much Akshay for the wonderful comment, your father is a very wise man,and I think the idea you mentioned is worth spreading, because if everyone had this mind frame, imagine what a nice world this would be.
08 Feb 2012, 10:56
Abdul Iqbal
even a smile is charity my friend…
a very innocent thought you mentioned :)
08 Feb 2012, 10:56
Sue
Yes, you can only do your best. Even if it is only equal to another persons worst, it is still your best. And smile – it’s very important. My father didn’t even tell me these things – I thought of them myself.
09 Feb 2012, 00:12
Mohammad Sandouk
to Abdul: absolutely true, you just think of the consequences of this!
to Sue: thank you for the feedback
09 Feb 2012, 00:17
Ilektra-Maria Kaldi
Your reflection Waseem reminds me of me and my best friend. Since we know each other for a long time, we are able to understand what we think just by eye contact. That is why a few words can be so constructive. I really believe that feedback doesn’t mean to be lengthy; it’s about quality, not quantity. And especially if it is about the areas for improvement, it’s better to be a few words that capture the meaning…
09 Feb 2012, 16:48
Pinthida Thanatipanont
Nice reflection Waseem :) I’ll have to agree with both Askhay and Ilektra here. Personally from my past experience, it was often that the comments that I didn’t wanna hear that helped change/ shape me. My brother is a critical guy, super logical and rational – I always felt under pressure to do things properly because I didnt want to put up with his comments afterwards. After having spent time apart (me coming over to the UK), has reminded me that his comments although were not always pleasant, they made quite a possitive impact overall. I learnt to be more thorough, more careful, and think twice before acting.
I am not saying we should take every comment seriously/ personally – the impact of the tone of voice, facial expression and body langauge can really dictate the delivery of the same message – one could be negative and the other could be positive, even though it’s the same content!
In short, I still think it’s nice to take positive notes – it’s like a little treat for the work you’ve done – no matter the quality of the work, the efforts should still be commended. However, for the less positive ones – I think taking those which really can help improve your abilities would be worthwhile – and leave the personal, subjective comments (especially if not true) for the person who says it to think about themselves.
10 Feb 2012, 00:08
Mohammad Sandouk
thank you guys, you add so much value, and have already showed me such a nice gesture by commenting positively.
10 Feb 2012, 01:02
Add a comment
You are not allowed to comment on this entry as it has restricted commenting permissions.