All 39 entries tagged Grrrr

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November 21, 2006

Electric six: Danger! Danger!...

...Political Correctness!

Why does Radio 1 do this to me? Some genius suggests to the DJ that they play “Gay Bar”. And they did. I was genuinely overjoyed and proceeded to “get down and boogie” as is my custom.


To my shock and horror they edited out the words.

Was it the sentence “Do you have any money? I’m going to take all your money!” that offended them? No.

So it must have been the outrageous “I’ve got something to put in you! at the gay bar!” surely?! No.

They got rid of “let’s start a nuclear war!”

Are they worried that the general public will take it too seriously? That people will start protesting “Let’s start a war! oh pretty pretty please!”. They must be really concerned that people are going to take it to heart. These five little words that come from a band that also gave us the tracks “Naked Pictures Of Your Mother”, “I Buy The Drugs” and “Chocolate Pope”. Clearly a group begging to be taken seriously on the international political scale.

I was speechless. This world has gone insane, or this country at least. I mean, good grief, the song is called “Gay Bar” for god’s sake, It’s not exactly Byron. I think somebody in the upper eschelons of the BBC must have pulled their pants on too quickly this morning, or at least I hope that’s the reason beause I am losing faith in the world quickly enough without these trifling acts of stupidity.


M xxx

October 31, 2006

That Magical Time Of The Year


I fear to watch TV in the front roon because they’ll see me through the window damnit >:(

M xxx

October 02, 2006


Ewwww! What is with all the spiders! I killed one so big it was absolutely awful and I couldn’t even bear to pick it up and throw it in the bin because it looked like the crunchy kind that you’d be able to feel squelch through a tissue and it was all slimy and disgusting and and and-
*pauses to catch breath and renegade punctuation*
Phew. But that’s not the worst of it. I just left it there on the floor. And forgot. And then, yes, yes I did… I stepped on it.

I have never been so utterly, utterly grossed out in all my life. I screamed. I levitated about a foot vertically into the air and then was thrown backwards across my room by pure fear alone. It was only with two toes but I feel like I should cut them off, incinerate them as biohazzards and cauterize the wound. I am so distressed it is untrue. and to add insult to injury I am dressed like a tramp and covered in paint. AND I can’t get to the kettle. NNOOOOOOooooo… :(

M xxx

June 28, 2006

Diary of a Graduand; Day 3


Absolutely. F*cking. Gutted.

Proceeding to plan B, which involves icecream, flapjacks, a magnum of Asti, two hours and a nice hot bubblebath. In your face bitatches. Oh, and a shedload of public transport. Hrrumph…

May 26, 2006

And another thing…

A huuuge thank you!

to everyone who has done my questionnaire so far, Who knows, I may pass my degree after all!

I'll think of a better way show my gratitude when I have more time, but for now I leave you with a list found scrawled on the reverse of my revision notes.

Exam Catchphrases:
Structural Molecular Biology / BioPhysical Chemistry...

  • …or how Mia learnt how to throw up her own spleen.
  • …verbal violation of the mind.
  • …almost as fun as rape.
  • …I came, I saw, I cried (my eyes out then wrote some bullshit about circular dichroism oh God I hope I at least scrape a pass).
  • …reinvigorating active acts of prayer in students victims since the 1960s.
  • …and its inextricable link to the rise in suicide rates.
  • …torture just got a whole degree smarter.
  • …maybe she was so prepared she got a full 8 hours sleep the night before… Or maybe it's maybelline.
  • …What were you thinking?

Hope you enjoyed them as much as they destroyed my mental ability. Good luck with exams everyone!

M xxx

April 20, 2006

Back on the 26th.

Oh, y'know, "No real reason"...

April 18, 2006

IQ Tests

Small Chocolate Teapot

…Are teh suck.

If I'm so smart why am I headed straight for the jaws of disaster? Eh? Stoopid test…

She says while singing loudly, sucking on a candy-cane and msn-ing carefully as she waits for her nailvarnish to dry.

Oh and revision. she does a bit of that in the gaps inbetween.

Bring it on.

M xxx

April 16, 2006


Sunday roast

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE this whole "revison" malarkey?

Yeah, well this was going to be a huge post on how much I hate the world right now and it's state of global retardation but it gradually dawned on me I was too disillusioned even to write coherent prose. So that bundle of fun will be arriving later.

M xxx


April 14, 2006

The fake sound of progress…

Revision Appraisal.

Several months, reams of paper, biros, cups of tea, handwritten booklets of notes, late nights re-reading, library books, summaries and slices of toast have been used up. And my development notes still appear to be written in Klingon. Aaaaaaarrrgh! :s

And there's less than a week left :(


April 11, 2006

The lost art of letter writing

Nothing should be this tricky.

Imagine, if you will, that you have an hour to spare. You also happen to have a proof of student status letter that took 5 weeks to get to you after going to university house three time. On top of this the Council have just sent you a Council tax bill that will cause you to be out of pocket to the tune of very many shiny pennies. In such a situation one would sit down, scribe off a lovely cover letter on some sheet of high gsm, official looking parchment before signing it with a flourish and enclosing it neatly with said student status letter in an envelope.

That is what would happen in an ideal world. A world of magic and fairies that I don't happen to live in.

Two envelopes later I had the address written out correctly. Then came the schoolboy error of "recieve". Several spelling mistakes and five pages of A4 later I realised I was writing it in a different ink colour to the envelope. Now, this concerned my aesthetics but, by now rather miffed, I ploughed on regardless. I needn't have worried. Half way through the 6th attempt my pen dies. I scribble all over the page and open the barrel to see what's wrong. As it turns out the ink barrel had exploded all over the interior of the pen and consequently all over my fingers. The 7th attempt is foiled by fingerprints and an unconscious attempt to spell "division" with a P.

Now, on my eighth attempt I get serious. Panic is setting in from the sheer incredulity at my own stupitity. I start to doubt my own ability to write in a straight line so I have to get out the ruler… It's like bloody pre-school.

One hour and a half from starting it's complete. which works out at about 30 minutes per sentence. I look at it in awe as if the ink is tainted with gold before retardedly making a right pigs ear of the folding.


I think if I don't replace my printer's ink cartrige soon I may have to resort to some kind of stationary related death just to put me out of my mistery. It's extreme emotional exaustion! I'd write another letter to sue them but that would involve writing the address out again and I'm not sure my poor little heart could take it.

Ha, can't wait to see what happens during the 9 hours of exam essays. Yes, it should be interesting…

M xxx


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